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Key to the house you live in.

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27729072
United States
11/15/2012 08:48 PM
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Key to the house you live in.
So here is the situation.

I just got married and moved in with my wife who was a single woman with children. We dated for many years prior to marriage. I now pay half the bills and the bulk of the rent, as well as help provide food. She has three children, I have two. Two of her kids are over 19 and one no longer live with us. Her and my youngest sons do live with us, both are teens. Her second oldest who is 19 comes and goes at his whim. He had a house key which I found while doing laundry. I gave it to my wife.
Now that we are married and living together and I am paying for over half the expenses, I requested that the key her son had, be given to me. She told me that she did not know where it was.
I used a set of nail clippers off of her night stand to trim my nails and noticed the key sitting in the tray next to them, so I put it in my pocket. Being one of the responsible parties for maintaining the home, I feel that I am entitled to a key. I also went and had a duplicate key made. I did not tell her that I took the key or made a key. I figured it was a moot point.
She claims she did not know where the key was, yet when it was no longer there, she asked if I took it. I told her I did. She asked for it back and I gave it to her. A few day later, she asked if I had made a duplicate. I did not deny doing that either and answered her honestly.
Now she says that because I took the key and made a key she wants me out and wants to file for separation, because it was "not mine to take". I beg to differ. We are married, we live in the same home and I am entitled to a key to the house.
It is fairly evident that she did know where the key was, or she would not have asked what happened to it. Based upon that, she either did not plan on giving me a key, or, she wasn't prepared to give it to me yet. In either case, it seems to point to a control issue she has.
I am not saying I was right by taking the key without telling her and/or making one. I do however believe that if she really intended to give me a key, that she would not have had a problem with me taking it or making a duplicate however? Also, I was honest with her about doing it.

Now that I have explained the situation, I would like to hear others thoughts on this? Was I wrong? Am I not entitled to take the key and/or make a duplicate? Oh and yes we RENT, neither of us own the home.
wtf
Little Drummer

User ID: 1544158
United States
11/15/2012 08:55 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
She may be married to you, but make no mistake she is not ready to make a commitment.

I would cut out now, quick.

It was your key to take.

She is snowing the shit out of you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1396188
United States
11/15/2012 08:56 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
good lord, if this is true, fall to the ground and praise GOD that she is giving you an out. also, you are a striaght up nutter to be in this situation. what kind of fruit did you marry, and WHY did you not already figure this out?
Vold3mort

User ID: 20442805
United States
11/15/2012 09:01 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
1.) Completely ridiculous that you would be married but not allowed to have a key to the house you live in with your wife

2.) Completely ridiculous that you would get married without having petty issues such as this resolved before hand

3.) It was your wife's house, and her son. You should respect that she wants her son to have access to the house. Some people need more than 19 years to get their act together.
"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. "

Winston Churchill
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15065851
United States
11/15/2012 09:01 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
Stop being a pussy.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7702124
United States
11/15/2012 09:05 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
So here is the situation.

I just got married and moved in with my wife who was a single woman with children. We dated for many years prior to marriage. I now pay half the bills and the bulk of the rent, as well as help provide food. She has three children, I have two. Two of her kids are over 19 and one no longer live with us. Her and my youngest sons do live with us, both are teens. Her second oldest who is 19 comes and goes at his whim. He had a house key which I found while doing laundry. I gave it to my wife.
Now that we are married and living together and I am paying for over half the expenses, I requested that the key her son had, be given to me. She told me that she did not know where it was.
I used a set of nail clippers off of her night stand to trim my nails and noticed the key sitting in the tray next to them, so I put it in my pocket. Being one of the responsible parties for maintaining the home, I feel that I am entitled to a key. I also went and had a duplicate key made. I did not tell her that I took the key or made a key. I figured it was a moot point.
She claims she did not know where the key was, yet when it was no longer there, she asked if I took it. I told her I did. She asked for it back and I gave it to her. A few day later, she asked if I had made a duplicate. I did not deny doing that either and answered her honestly.
Now she says that because I took the key and made a key she wants me out and wants to file for separation, because it was "not mine to take". I beg to differ. We are married, we live in the same home and I am entitled to a key to the house.
It is fairly evident that she did know where the key was, or she would not have asked what happened to it. Based upon that, she either did not plan on giving me a key, or, she wasn't prepared to give it to me yet. In either case, it seems to point to a control issue she has.
I am not saying I was right by taking the key without telling her and/or making one. I do however believe that if she really intended to give me a key, that she would not have had a problem with me taking it or making a duplicate however? Also, I was honest with her about doing it.

Now that I have explained the situation, I would like to hear others thoughts on this? Was I wrong? Am I not entitled to take the key and/or make a duplicate? Oh and yes we RENT, neither of us own the home.
wtf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27729072


Wait...wut?

You don't have a key to your OWN HOUSE?
....and having one made...all hell breaks loose??


Stand back and think about that for a few seconds until reality sinks into your skull.


Here....allow me to help you........ beat_brick
Anonymous Coward
11/15/2012 09:05 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
good lord, if this is true, fall to the ground and praise GOD that she is giving you an out. also, you are a striaght up nutter to be in this situation.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1396188




Gonna have to agree with this.


There's WAY more to this than meets the eye.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2815100
Australia
11/15/2012 09:08 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
Don't walk - RUN!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 27729072
United States
11/15/2012 09:10 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
Her son does have access to the home. She chose not to give him the key back. I duplicated it and yes I did have it, but I did give it back. I do not know who has that key now?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 27729072
United States
11/15/2012 09:12 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
Looks like the end of the line for us....

Her 15 year old son took a hammer to my tail lights. I called the cops on him. Thanks for the replies. Such a pity, I do care about her and her kids.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 14038453
United States
11/15/2012 09:13 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
So here is the situation.

I just got married and moved in with my wife who was a single woman with children. We dated for many years prior to marriage. I now pay half the bills and the bulk of the rent, as well as help provide food. She has three children, I have two. Two of her kids are over 19 and one no longer live with us. Her and my youngest sons do live with us, both are teens. Her second oldest who is 19 comes and goes at his whim. He had a house key which I found while doing laundry. I gave it to my wife.
Now that we are married and living together and I am paying for over half the expenses, I requested that the key her son had, be given to me. She told me that she did not know where it was.
I used a set of nail clippers off of her night stand to trim my nails and noticed the key sitting in the tray next to them, so I put it in my pocket. Being one of the responsible parties for maintaining the home, I feel that I am entitled to a key. I also went and had a duplicate key made. I did not tell her that I took the key or made a key. I figured it was a moot point.
She claims she did not know where the key was, yet when it was no longer there, she asked if I took it. I told her I did. She asked for it back and I gave it to her. A few day later, she asked if I had made a duplicate. I did not deny doing that either and answered her honestly.
Now she says that because I took the key and made a key she wants me out and wants to file for separation, because it was "not mine to take". I beg to differ. We are married, we live in the same home and I am entitled to a key to the house.
It is fairly evident that she did know where the key was, or she would not have asked what happened to it. Based upon that, she either did not plan on giving me a key, or, she wasn't prepared to give it to me yet. In either case, it seems to point to a control issue she has.
I am not saying I was right by taking the key without telling her and/or making one. I do however believe that if she really intended to give me a key, that she would not have had a problem with me taking it or making a duplicate however? Also, I was honest with her about doing it.

Now that I have explained the situation, I would like to hear others thoughts on this? Was I wrong? Am I not entitled to take the key and/or make a duplicate? Oh and yes we RENT, neither of us own the home.
wtf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27729072


Run, as fast as you can, and get an annulment. Don't divorce her or you will end up paying palimony or something.

This freakish control issue will only get worse :-(
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 11159795
United States
11/15/2012 09:13 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
I thank God I'm single.
samanthasunflower

User ID: 14930415
United States
11/15/2012 09:15 PM

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Re: Key to the house you live in.
Your not married, your living with a roommate.

I wouldn't even let a roommate treat me that way.

Get some marriage counseling now! If she won't go, then get an apartment in our own name and leave.
SPUD

11/15/2012 09:19 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
Don't walk - RUN!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2815100



"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most"
___________
"May your chains rest lightly upon you..."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13666421
Australia
11/15/2012 09:22 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
idiots like you deserve what they get
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1006681
United States
11/15/2012 09:26 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
She may be married to you, but make no mistake she is not ready to make a commitment.

I would cut out now, quick.

It was your key to take.

She is snowing the shit out of you.
 Quoting: Little Drummer


^^^^^^^^^^^
THIS.

You made a dupe key to your married place of residence,
and this is grounds for anything? You crazy, bro'?

GTFO, infinity.
Little Miss Sunshine

User ID: 27730305
United States
11/15/2012 09:28 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
Sugar listen. ...This woman IS INDEED A FRUIT!!! No question about it. But if you love her.. you love her and only YOU know deep down what kind of issues she has. Now I can tell you this. Your married now and HAVE EVERY RIGHT to have a house key. If she is still flipping out that bad over the key in a cpl days you may want to find out....why!!! She is either bi-polar or she's having her cake and eating it too, but somethingsure isn't right.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1006681
United States
11/15/2012 09:31 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
Run, as fast as you can, and get an annulment. Don't divorce her or you will end up paying palimony or something.

This freakish control issue will only get worse :-(

 Quoting: tandym


I think not. Annulment is a religious process, not a legal secular process.

GTFO and get a legal divorce; the woman is batshit crazy.

Seriously, dude? You're married and pay more than half the upkeep, and she didn't want you to have a key? WTF is wrong with you?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1396188
United States
11/15/2012 09:34 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
Looks like the end of the line for us....

Her 15 year old son took a hammer to my tail lights. I called the cops on him. Thanks for the replies. Such a pity, I do care about her and her kids.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27729072


why?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24926363
United States
11/15/2012 09:40 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
Looks like the end of the line for us....

Her 15 year old son took a hammer to my tail lights. I called the cops on him. Thanks for the replies. Such a pity, I do care about her and her kids.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27729072


why?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1396188


You are not a man OP. She had no respect for you.. Act like a man and walk away.. and do not act like a pussified bitch next time you meet a woman..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1499647
United States
11/15/2012 09:43 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
Looks like the end of the line for us....

Her 15 year old son took a hammer to my tail lights. I called the cops on him. Thanks for the replies. Such a pity, I do care about her and her kids.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27729072


Over you wanting a key to the house you live in? How did he even know about the disagreement?

You deserve a key dude, if you are living in that house and paying the bills.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 27729072
United States
11/15/2012 09:47 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
cops came. I chose not to press charges/
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21795357
United States
11/15/2012 09:49 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
Well, A, do you legally have ownership of the house? (i.e. both your signatures are on the mortgage, or you bought it as a married couple)

That's important. If its your house (that you share with your wife), and she has no predefined ownership (like through a prenupt), then:

Well, denying someone access to their own house (as defined above) is considered a form of domestic abuse. If, for instance, one of you wanted to be away from another for the night, that's fine, but that one has to find a bed somewhere else. If you find yourself in a situation where you don't have the key, the police* should see this as an abusive situation, and the result can include jail time, restraining orders, etc.. In this situation, they may see in your favor.


*They're the police, who're we kidding, maybe they'll taze you. Don't let it come to this, but understand that the law, and likely anyone else who hears this, would side with you, and probably recommend a divorce.
Outland

User ID: 19585845
United States
11/15/2012 09:53 PM

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Re: Key to the house you live in.
And you married her...why?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27832357
United States
11/15/2012 09:55 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
This woman is crazy. I mean in a while you will be asking yourself how did I marry such a demon possessed, insane, psycho.

That said you married her. She is going to be wrong a lot. You either need to break it off and take the out or realize she is going to be wrong every day and try to live with it and keep your vow.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2704006
United States
11/15/2012 09:56 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
cops came. I chose not to press charges/
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 27729072


are you a drunk? is that why they fight you?
WindyMind

User ID: 26518293
United States
11/15/2012 09:56 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
You've got to be an asshole making her out like this. Is this a riddle? This is a half story and kids don't smash tail lights without reason. What have you done to them? Do you beat her? Why would you bring this onto glp? You are an ass.
WindyMind

User ID: 26518293
United States
11/15/2012 09:56 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
Fucking a woman and children around and then bragging on glp?

Last Edited by WindyMind on 11/15/2012 09:58 PM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2704006
United States
11/15/2012 09:59 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
Fucking a woman and children around and then bragging on glp?
 Quoting: WindyMind


that's what i think too... an alcoholic or druggie.. places all blame on others.
Alexander

User ID: 15635858
United States
11/15/2012 10:00 PM

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Re: Key to the house you live in.
This is absolutly nuts. She should have given you a key before you got married after she accepted your proposal.

However, I will add that when I remarried (30 years ago) - there was trepidation of my partner filling up my space with stuff and that whole adjustment issue of getting used to a new person. It was a rough first couple of years adjusting to a blended family and the extended family along with the exs which drove both of us nuts.

It would be beneficial to go to couples counseling. If you stay together it would also be a good idea to get a new rental home together and have a fresh start.

And yes, we went to counseling over the kids which helped us both sort out the various issues.

Good luck.
The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.
Winston Churchill

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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 27841522
Brazil
11/15/2012 10:01 PM
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Re: Key to the house you live in.
just another day in the trailer park.





GLP