How to get over a soul connection, when they are already dating someone else? (Soul Connection Experience Preferred)

In the above exchange, the OP has been shown two ways to live life.

Choose wisely.

I guess I wanted it so bad, the way he seemed attracted to me, I just wasn't ready to find out he already had someone. Trying to move on has been one of the biggest challenges. And I noticed with these soul connection stories, 90% of them never got with the person. It's so rather painful to think of that.....to have them dangled in front of you, and there's really no chance.

This website has too many stories... [link to patski.hubpages.com]

I never believed in this...thought it was all crap, until it has happened to me. I honestly didn't believe in love until he showed me somebody could like me. I was too scared to show it back....

I believe ^^THIS^^. I hope you will, too.

Long, long ago, I was on the giving end with a friend who later would write me: "You loved me when I couldn't love myself; you respected me when I couldn't respect myself. In some way that I can't express, you saved my life."

Everyone is lovable. Everyone has incredible worth. Everyone matters.

(Sadly, we forget to express this to the very ones who need to hear it the most.)

Work on loving/accepting yourself independent of needing anyone external to you to affirm those feelings. It sounds like this individual ignited a feeling that feels seemingly foreign to you inside, and hence, the strong emotional reaction on your end. I am speaking to you as someone who experienced very similar circumstances.

I just wished that's not the only reason he's in my life. I just wasn't prepared to have to let go. Once I found out he had a girlfriend, I can no longer look at him like I did, nor should he look at me if he's with someone.

I did need it though. I was in such a sad funk. Thank you for sticking with my bs! :) My friends are all sick of hearing about it....just tell me to snap out of it.

Well, OP, I'm sticking with you (and some others will, too) because you matter to me!

PS - my GLP name came from the friend I told you about.

OP, it's spiritual and not really a good thing. Google "Breaking soul ties".

OP, it's spiritual and not really a good thing. Google "Breaking soul ties".

Double post

Dont be a home wrecker. Women despise women like you. Maybe not you personally but the situation you bring. If he felt the same hed leave the girl hes with. Its harsh but its reality and therefor the truth. I bet your a nice goodlooking girl, but lust and love are 2 separate entities.

That's what I've been telling myself, hence why I stopped talking when I found out he had a gf. I just hate the what if. I am taking up volunteer work, to meet more people, since I want to so badly move on. Everyone else that knows me thinks I moved on, except my co worker.

I just wish he would stop looking at me...I hate knowing there's something lingering, even though I stopped all action.

You'll let go when you're ready OP, but know this: you're doing all of this to yourself, don't let it go to far.

This!! ^

Also...Op, I'm a firm believer in taking the bull by the horns. Life has taught me this, but also to do so with caution.

By this I mean, you need to stop pussy footing around him and sending him mixed signals. That is what it sounds like you're doing. First your talking to him and enjoying his company and the next thing you're doing is being rude to him. The poor guy is probably a little confused by you at this point.

With many years of experience under my proverbial belt, here is what I would do if I were you. Realize the guy is technically still on the market if he's not married and only in a relationship. Ok now this is very important! This does NOT mean you disrespect that relationship in any way shape or form. You simply acknowledge that it exists and you play by the rules.

What does this mean? It means you be very open and honest with him about your feelings, HOWEVER, you also MUST let him know that you acknowledge the fact that he's in a relationship AND you respect it!! By doing this, you are NOT playing any games with him. Guys hate that stuff and all the drama that goes with it! And you are putting all of your cards out on the table for HIM to make the next move.

In the mean time...apologize for being rude to him and let him know that it was because of your inner conflict around him and your desire to respect his current relationship. Tell him you would really like to get to know him better but only on a friendship basis! Make it VERY clear to him what your boundaries are with him while he's in his current relationship and stick to them no matter how tempted you may be to play "the other woman." This is sooooo important! I can't stress this enough!! First and foremost you MUST be true to yourself!

Now that you've been completely open an honest with him about your feelings and your ideals, the proverbial ball is in his court. He can decide to serve it back or hang onto it. You've done all you can do at this point. If there is something there, he now knows how you feel about him and that should he pursue a friendship with you, he automatically knows who he's getting involved with and what your boundaries/morals/ideals are.

That really is all you can and should do at this point. And in my opinion, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with it! If you're feeling a sense of moral guilt about your feelings with this guy, don't. You have done nothing to feel guilty about. He is not married, which means he is either in a serious relationship, or he is potentially still looking. He will let you know which one it is. You owe it to yourself, to him and believe it or not to his current girlfriend to find out the truth about his feelings. After all...if you were his girlfriend, you certainly wouldn't want to play second fiddle to another woman would you? You would want ALL of him, both physically mentally and emotionally. She, you and he deserves that much;) I hope you give these words some deep thought Op and I wish you all the best no matter the outcome:) :hf:

Remember...you only live THIS life once. At the end of it and we never know how long we'll get till that end, NOW is the time you get to decide how many regrets you want to look back on;)

"What does this mean? It means you be very open and honest with him about your feelings, HOWEVER, you also MUST let him know that you acknowledge the fact that he's in a relationship AND you respect it!! By doing this, you are NOT playing any games with him."

Making it known to him will feed his narcissism, then his gf will find out and there will be a huge catfight.

This advice sux.

P.S. before I retire to bed: if he's making eyes at you and doing all the other shit to mess with your head, while he's ALREADY with someone, then even if you did get with him, he'd be making eyes at someone else and playing them too.

you won't get over it. so your soul mates. chances are you will never connect. just DON'T sleep with him. you won't get over it. ever. and he'll always come back too. torture.

So do you just silently keep it to yourself? I feel like if he's looking at me like he is, in a relationship, he'll do the same if we ever did get together. Maybe he doesn't feel the connection.

What's weird is my mom knew of him. He goes to the same church as her, and she always noticed him. It's weird...

I guess it's really bad timing...I just thought maybe once it would work out for me. I can't force myself to like other guys, I HAVE tried my best to move on, but I can't. It's like, why settle? I can't seem to find anyone who likes all the weird stuff I do.

Hi again.

I've been thinking about this off and on today. I can't say I have any breakthrough advice, but I will say that in my opinion it is not wise to force yourself, whether it's to like other guys or move on from this one. That will only create more tension.

On the other hand, a lot can happen in a few weeks or a few months.

Thinking about how you might do something positive: work on how you are comfortable relating to guys whether they're in a relationship or not. This isn't an easy thing to do. I know, because I've been through it.

You have said everything I doubt. Are you married? There are no what if's, just black and white?

I hate to tell you this and call me cynical, but even when you feel "that way" it can still be ever so wrong...

I've never gotten the guy I wanted either -- Thank God.

Finally, if a guy REALLY wants you it won't feel this way or take much effort. I'd say move on in your head/heart. It's not real anyway, it's only been in the fantasy stage.

thank you....I just never felt so strong. I have doubt though, since he's been with her. Let's be honest, right. But others said I didn't show I liked him back, I ran. So I don't know, I just don't know how to act around the opposite sex anymore.

it sounds more like infatuation or lust.

Soul mates or soul connections are fancy terms that movies are made.

True love is what you should seek out and in order to find this, you mut first truly love yourself. Respect yourself. True love is not for everyone, as it entails a life of action. Love is an action word, not a sideline game of catching a soul mate.

a good relationship takes two willing participants.

Keep searching, OP. The planet has 7 billion people on it, don't get hung up on someone who is taken. Be happy for him, send him good energy.

OP, it sounds like you are young? Always let the man make the moves. A woman who chases after a man looks needy and desperate. I wouldn't stop talking to him, just be normal to him, treat him as a friend. All good relationships last the longest and are the healthiest that are grounded in friendship. Baby steps, be his friend. Its as simple as a smile in the elevator and wishing him a wonderful weekend.

You need to establish trust with him then your friendship can flourish and then who knows

OP, men are visual creatures, not to make you feel bad, but most men look at any pretty ladies in the vicinity, especially at work. I know I used to have my favorite 'hot' guys at work that I glanced over at throughout the day. Work places are full of fantasy... lol.

yikes. OP is a stalker babe...

OP, don't get hung up on one person, get out there and meet some people, single people. No one likes a home wrecker.

you have to discipline and train your mind to move on, OP. Just like if you had bad thoughts about doing a bad action, you need to clear that out of your mind and move in a more productive direction. Otherwise you are just behaving like a programmed whore who has watched Twilight one too many times. Turn off the TV, quit reading People and Cosmo and realize your mind is yours to control.

Just because you feel a strong connection doesn't mean your meant to be lovers. This could be what is referred to as a flag point, or red flag. A pre-organised event placed before you incarnated to make you remember a direction to go, Or you could have known them in a previous life or in the spirit world.

I feel a strong connection as you described with my inlaws daughter, i know her from the past and we where close at one stage.

Most people are more addicted to the actual 'chase'. Couple that with the fact the dude has a gf and OP feels even more of a 'rush' to 'win'.

This never plays out well, OP. Once you get him, you will tire of him fast, since what you crave is the hunt and the win.

then you leave a wake of destruction in your path by splitting up a couple.

guaranteed if he was single he wouldn't seem so attractive. some people are drawn to people in relationships for reasons hidden on much deeper levels.

what goes around comes around. Be a friend to him, but if he is in a serious relationship, show some respect. how would you feel if some ho was making the moves on your bf?

I keep my actions in check, I avoid him. I don't stalk him out. It's hard for me to stop thinking about him, even though I no longer talk to him. That's why I came on here, for people with experience, how they got over something so sticky. It just sucks....