I Declare Myself a Fucking Idiot | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 19164215 United States 03/31/2013 02:09 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Azure Lumiere 3 weeks ago Here is the deepest secret nobody knows.Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide.And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.I carry your heart, and I carry it in mine .- E. E. Cummings |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 23660254 United States 03/31/2013 02:19 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
xSZx User ID: 2659119 United Kingdom 03/31/2013 02:27 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What is this feeling? It is so fucking heavy. It never relents, it merely requires a different way of handling the feelings, shuffling around the weight so it is bearable. Quoting: Septenary Man Perhaps this is the way that people with addictions feel. Damn...night after night, clearing away all the past feelings, reconciling with every person I have ever 'known'. Clearing it all out, leaving me a tired wreck of over-abused emotions that reflect as if those reconciliations are an over all reality, when they are most likely my own. It can't be this way for anyone, for everyone. I do not know how to...lift it without making me bend so. Perhaps these things I experience are not real, and I am behaving as if they are. I am 44 years old. I have striven for most of my life to find out what has happened to me. What if, like others in the world, I discover that it is all bullshit? I probably wouldn't mind, as long as I am able to stop thinking. Probably the worst thing I could have done is let others know of what I have been through. By writing it down, or speaking of it, I embed it deep into my self. Why is it not better to let if flow through without... I think about people living to an old, ripe age, and it terrifies me. I cannot imagine living these 44 years all over again, and more than half of those years forgotten in the depths of birth, childhood and debauchery. What makes me really fucked up, is that I am writing this on a public forum, to people I don't even 'know' in real life. A declare myself a fucking idiot to be known, and therefor used and abused, understood and in the end, obviously manipulated. Does it matter in the end? I have been told it does, yet to remain true to self is what I aspire to. To all those that do not aspire to that, god help you. Remain fixed upon the truthful path, Upon which find the Understanding place, And did such journey lead here? The place of here and now. Enter my domain of terrible destruction, Except my essence, succor my presence. 'The Horrible One' |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37130652 United States 03/31/2013 05:27 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What is this feeling? It is so fucking heavy. It never relents, it merely requires a different way of handling the feelings, shuffling around the weight so it is bearable. Quoting: Septenary Man ... it is the understanding the why of the word sometimes i tell myself flip Overstand rastawise ok but word/image is too dominating for me complete the revolution and stand beside |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37135615 Italy 03/31/2013 05:57 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:02 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | When you were talking about: Quoting: Anonymous Coward 12506015 "Damn...night after night, clearing away all the past feelings, reconciling with every person I have ever 'known'. Clearing it all out, leaving me a tired wreck of over-abused emotions that reflect as if those reconciliations are an over all reality, when they are most likely my own" Do you mean in your dreams? If so I am experiencing the same thing lately. It is rare that I dream with people I know in them, but lately every night someone from my past shows up in my dreams. Even the lucid ones. It's been very overwhelming and disconcerting for me as they are usually pretty emotional. Hang in there. I know the feeling you're speaking of. I would like to join the Fucking Idiot club as well. Yes, in my dreams, lucid or otherwise. Constantly, with everyone I know, and many I do not. |
xSZx User ID: 2659119 United Kingdom 03/31/2013 06:03 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What is this feeling? It is so fucking heavy. It never relents, it merely requires a different way of handling the feelings, shuffling around the weight so it is bearable. Quoting: Septenary Man Perhaps this is the way that people with addictions feel. Damn...night after night, clearing away all the past feelings, reconciling with every person I have ever 'known'. Clearing it all out, leaving me a tired wreck of over-abused emotions that reflect as if those reconciliations are an over all reality, when they are most likely my own. It can't be this way for anyone, for everyone. I do not know how to...lift it without making me bend so. Perhaps these things I experience are not real, and I am behaving as if they are. I am 44 years old. I have striven for most of my life to find out what has happened to me. What if, like others in the world, I discover that it is all bullshit? I probably wouldn't mind, as long as I am able to stop thinking. Probably the worst thing I could have done is let others know of what I have been through. By writing it down, or speaking of it, I embed it deep into my self. Why is it not better to let if flow through without... I think about people living to an old, ripe age, and it terrifies me. I cannot imagine living these 44 years all over again, and more than half of those years forgotten in the depths of birth, childhood and debauchery. What makes me really fucked up, is that I am writing this on a public forum, to people I don't even 'know' in real life. A declare myself a fucking idiot to be known, and therefor used and abused, understood and in the end, obviously manipulated. Does it matter in the end? I have been told it does, yet to remain true to self is what I aspire to. To all those that do not aspire to that, god help you. Remain fixed upon the truthful path, Upon which find the Understanding place, And did such journey lead here? The place of here and now. Enter my domain of terrible destruction, Except my essence, succor my presence. 'The Horrible One' |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:03 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:05 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:11 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Society is rotten right now, everyone thinks they hold the only truth and love to give life lessons to everyone who is against their opinion... Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37014387 In my opinion, show everyone the middle finger, be yourself and be happy. Besides showing the finger, that is what I do. I used to have enough angst to do that. But yes, you are exactly correct in my opinion. |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:13 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | This is the point in life where I said enough was enough. Quoting: IAMIAM I looked to the heavens and said with all sincerity, YOU are my maker! Do with me what you will. And a calm settled over me for I had relinquished my life and trusted forevermore that what ever purpose for which I was created would be fulfilled. With that, what is there to worry about? It is a new beginning. A new birth. I became a new being. God bless you my friend. And may you find the peace you are searching for. Thanks IAMIAM, didn't expect this reply from you. God bless you, friend. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 34496689 United States 03/31/2013 06:13 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:15 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Oh Sept...dude...we are all fucking idiots. Don't be low. Pick up yor head. 'everyting gon be awlll reet.' (say this like a Jamaican 3 times out loud). Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31510799 Then you can truly declare yourself a fucking idiot. I'm not really low, just trying to feel my way through all of this. At times, when speaking of introspection, it tends to sound depressing or low or whatever, but it's not...though I will be the first to admit, it used to be. Went through a lot of it in the past. |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:16 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I do it non-stop, and much of the time it has become second nature. Which is the entire reason I started doing it so much in the first place, so it naturally would occur and it would not have to be something I had to 'work' on to be actively reflective of self. |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:17 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I'm right there with you Septenary Man. I'm turning 37 soon but I've felt like an old man with a cane since I can remember. My whole life has been a continual walk of (SHAMAN) shame while haphazardly trying to parse the nature of reality. Quoting: calx That's why I drink. Karma to you! laheyfucked: Lahey...interesting pic name. BTW, I fixed your comment, lol! |
WildFlower User ID: 34146134 United States 03/31/2013 06:18 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Society is rotten right now, everyone thinks they hold the only truth and love to give life lessons to everyone who is against their opinion... Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37014387 In my opinion, show everyone the middle finger, be yourself and be happy. Besides showing the finger, that is what I do. I used to have enough angst to do that. But yes, you are exactly correct in my opinion. Everyone goes through some sort of reflection around this age... to "fold the laundry and put it away"... "Be Yourself and Be Happy"... learn to forgive yourself and yes..."This Too Shall Pass" Peace, Love, & Light to you OP |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:20 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 5869850 United States 03/31/2013 06:23 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:24 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What is this feeling? It is so fucking heavy. It never relents, it merely requires a different way of handling the feelings, shuffling around the weight so it is bearable. Quoting: Septenary Man Perhaps this is the way that people with addictions feel. Damn...night after night, clearing away all the past feelings, reconciling with every person I have ever 'known'. Clearing it all out, leaving me a tired wreck of over-abused emotions that reflect as if those reconciliations are an over all reality, when they are most likely my own. It can't be this way for anyone, for everyone. I do not know how to...lift it without making me bend so. Perhaps these things I experience are not real, and I am behaving as if they are. I am 44 years old. I have striven for most of my life to find out what has happened to me. What if, like others in the world, I discover that it is all bullshit? I probably wouldn't mind, as long as I am able to stop thinking. Probably the worst thing I could have done is let others know of what I have been through. By writing it down, or speaking of it, I embed it deep into my self. Why is it not better to let if flow through without... I think about people living to an old, ripe age, and it terrifies me. I cannot imagine living these 44 years all over again, and more than half of those years forgotten in the depths of birth, childhood and debauchery. What makes me really fucked up, is that I am writing this on a public forum, to people I don't even 'know' in real life. A declare myself a fucking idiot to be known, and therefor used and abused, understood and in the end, obviously manipulated. Does it matter in the end? I have been told it does, yet to remain true to self is what I aspire to. To all those that do not aspire to that, god help you. I like you a lot and think you're a genius. I think you have higher expectations of yourself than nearly anyone can accomplish. I wonder if your father toilet trained you with a 45. Just chill. relax. Maybe medication. visualize a color or something. You can shut your mind down if you try. You have helped a lot of people with what you've said and posted. You've opened a lot of eyes. That's a good thing. Have a shot of vodka. or a beer. Maybe you're working too hard or too long and need to schedule some downtime. Peace. That's the entire point. If you don't push yourself past what you can accomplish (and have goals that are beyond you r capabilities), you will never know what you are truly capable of. |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:26 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What is this feeling? It is so fucking heavy. It never relents, it merely requires a different way of handling the feelings, shuffling around the weight so it is bearable. Quoting: Septenary Man Perhaps this is the way that people with addictions feel. Damn...night after night, clearing away all the past feelings, reconciling with every person I have ever 'known'. Clearing it all out, leaving me a tired wreck of over-abused emotions that reflect as if those reconciliations are an over all reality, when they are most likely my own. It can't be this way for anyone, for everyone. I do not know how to...lift it without making me bend so. Perhaps these things I experience are not real, and I am behaving as if they are. I am 44 years old. I have striven for most of my life to find out what has happened to me. What if, like others in the world, I discover that it is all bullshit? I probably wouldn't mind, as long as I am able to stop thinking. Probably the worst thing I could have done is let others know of what I have been through. By writing it down, or speaking of it, I embed it deep into my self. Why is it not better to let if flow through without... I think about people living to an old, ripe age, and it terrifies me. I cannot imagine living these 44 years all over again, and more than half of those years forgotten in the depths of birth, childhood and debauchery. What makes me really fucked up, is that I am writing this on a public forum, to people I don't even 'know' in real life. A declare myself a fucking idiot to be known, and therefor used and abused, understood and in the end, obviously manipulated. Does it matter in the end? I have been told it does, yet to remain true to self is what I aspire to. To all those that do not aspire to that, god help you. Spend some time immersing yourself with the dog-pack at your home... They know nothing of these human frustrations... Soak up their vibe and just let the present moment be... :boompitbull1: Here's my pack. :ShenanigansCalli: :sevin: :jupiterdog: :mojo: |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:27 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 32069520 United States 03/31/2013 06:27 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:28 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 21057428 United States 03/31/2013 06:28 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37185036 United States 03/31/2013 06:29 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | What is this feeling? It is so fucking heavy. It never relents, it merely requires a different way of handling the feelings, shuffling around the weight so it is bearable. Quoting: Septenary Man Perhaps this is the way that people with addictions feel. Damn...night after night, clearing away all the past feelings, reconciling with every person I have ever 'known'. Clearing it all out, leaving me a tired wreck of over-abused emotions that reflect as if those reconciliations are an over all reality, when they are most likely my own. It can't be this way for anyone, for everyone. I do not know how to...lift it without making me bend so. Perhaps these things I experience are not real, and I am behaving as if they are. I am 44 years old. I have striven for most of my life to find out what has happened to me. What if, like others in the world, I discover that it is all bullshit? I probably wouldn't mind, as long as I am able to stop thinking. Probably the worst thing I could have done is let others know of what I have been through. By writing it down, or speaking of it, I embed it deep into my self. Why is it not better to let if flow through without... I think about people living to an old, ripe age, and it terrifies me. I cannot imagine living these 44 years all over again, and more than half of those years forgotten in the depths of birth, childhood and debauchery. What makes me really fucked up, is that I am writing this on a public forum, to people I don't even 'know' in real life. A declare myself a fucking idiot to be known, and therefor used and abused, understood and in the end, obviously manipulated. Does it matter in the end? I have been told it does, yet to remain true to self is what I aspire to. To all those that do not aspire to that, god help you. You are okay bro, it's going to be alright. Look, you can't be much more of a fucking idiot than this guy: [link to www.youtube.com] |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 14874606 United States 03/31/2013 06:34 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sevin is a she (Sevin means 'beautiful girl, or Love Her!). She was abandon and left for dead. My wife and I rescued her, but when she was first picked up, the was about 60 pounds (hence the picture of her so skinny) or something when her healthy weight is about 140. That picture is when she was transported to the rescue my wife works with. When we took her she had almost died three times. The vet didn't understand how she lived through the night on two occasions. Then she came down with pneumonia during recovery and almost died then as well. She's had a long rough life, and she was just over a year old when she was rescued. She is fully deaf and blind in 1 eye. She's our princess. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 21057428 United States 03/31/2013 06:52 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sevin is a she (Sevin means 'beautiful girl, or Love Her!). She was abandon and left for dead. My wife and I rescued her, but when she was first picked up, the was about 60 pounds (hence the picture of her so skinny) or something when her healthy weight is about 140. That picture is when she was transported to the rescue my wife works with. When we took her she had almost died three times. The vet didn't understand how she lived through the night on two occasions. Then she came down with pneumonia during recovery and almost died then as well. She's had a long rough life, and she was just over a year old when she was rescued. She is fully deaf and blind in 1 eye. She's our princess. God bless you for rescuing that poor baby and giving her a good life now. I love people who love animals. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37185107 Canada 03/31/2013 08:25 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 37186444 United States 03/31/2013 08:35 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |