I was invited into the Illuminati when I was 20 years old and now I regret not accepting

Back in 1993 (pre-internet) I began studying WWII and the events leading up to it and just knew that something was wrong with the official story. I was also interested in finding out about other parts of history both secular and religious. I ordered esoteric and hard to find out of print books that dealt with these subjects. Also I was very vocal with my professors at college and one took me aside one day and asked me "where do you get this information" as if to to day "how do you know this".

I am also first cousins to a very well known political figure so this might be a reason why I was "invited".

So I am thinking because I was on some mailing lists, was very vocal in college, and was related to this certain high profile person that I was "selected".

One day I got a small package in the mail. I opened it and inside was a cassette tape (keep in mind this was in 1993). I listened to the tape and on it was a man who was speaking clear and proper English but with a very "upper crust" and "continental" accent. It was difficult to tell what type of accent it was as it was very mild.

This man was one of the best communicators I have ever heard because while he sounded very pleasant and proper he also left me with the impression that this was a very serious matter and I should not share the cassette with anyone and must destroy it if I do not accept the invitation. He did not use the term "illuminati" or any other group but instead referred to the group as being "financiers".

He told me that if I wanted to accept the invitation that I should put the cassette tape back in the package and return the entire package to the return address and that would be the sign that I wanted to proceed. He said if I did not accept that I should destroy the tape.

I thought about it for a few days and threw it away because I was a young man trying to figure out the world and did not want to pledge my life to anything until I had a better understanding of the truth.

For the next 15 or so years I tried desperately to "wake up" my family, friends, and anyone else I got into a conversation with that the way the world worked was from the top down. I would explain that the financiers controlled everything such as the media, education, and the government. All it did was alienate people from my life. Once in a while I would meet someone who agreed with me but they would echo the same thing that talking to people about it was pointless.

Now that millions of Americans are in dire financial situations people are beginning to wake up. It seems that the phony exuberant economy we enjoyed for so long kept the masses fat and happy so they did not want to hear anything that was a potential buzzkill. They were just focused on using their houses as piggy banks so they could buy more wave runners, big screen TVs, get boob jobs, and go on cruises.

Even though more and more people are waking up I know that it is far too late. The average American now is nothing like what the people who were alive during the first Great Depression. Back then people were healthier, had morals, were self sufficient, and had backbones. Now all we have are fat, dumb, lazy turds who are mostly in denial and think the economy is getting better. The ones who still have some basic morals left cling to the idea that they are going to be raptured before the tribulation and won't have to experience anything really painful. These psychos actually beat the drums for Armageddon.

At this point in my life I often regret not accepting that invitation when I was a young man. I now hate humans just as much as the financiers/illuminati do. The masses really are just a useless bunch of eaters without the capability of actual critical thinking. The masses are so easily duped and have become almost completely passive. I figured by now we would have had more false flags on the scale of or bigger than 9/11 but I guess they don't need to do it because the masses don't ever push back.

When SHTF honestly am not going to feel anything toward people who are starving. My empathy for them is completely gone. Would I share my medicine, food, and water with someone crawling toward me asking for help? The answer is no.

Would I help a relative who's children are starving or sick? No, I tried to "wake up" all of my relatives and they have had nothing but scorn for me because of my ideas.

All I care about is my own family. At least my kids are being raised to be thinkers. I am divorced but the mother of my kids thinks similar to me. I guess I care for my kids because they have parents who have that "spark" in their brains and/or their souls that allow them to "see". I look at the rest of the world as nothing more than zombies at this point.

Sorry to have such a negative view of humans but this is how I truly feel at this state of the game. I know that it is highly likely that me and my kids will not survive what is coming but we are going for fight for survival until our last breaths. If I got that invitation today I would accept it in a heartbeat.