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Muslims believe President Obama is their awaited Messiah

 
Anonymous Coward
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07/19/2009 04:27 AM
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Muslims believe President Obama is their awaited Messiah
Muslims believe President Obama is their awaited Messiah
July 17, 2009, 12:05 pm
Filed under: islam, small news


In it’s giant Egypt’s Al-Masry Al-Youm declared the US President-In-Chief “Obama the Awaited” front page headline, drawing parallels to the Mahdi, who in Muslim estacheology is believed to appear before the end of days as a saviour, as the second coming of Christ.





Amir Taheri




Is Barack Obama the “promised warrior” coming to help the Hidden Imam of Shiite Muslims conquer the world? The question has made the rounds in Iran since last month, when a pro-government Web site published a Hadith (or tradition) from a Shiite text of the 17th century. The tradition comes from Bahar al-Anvar (meaning Oceans of Light) by Mullah Majlisi, a magnum opus in 132 volumes and the basis of modern Shiite Islam. According to the tradition, Imam Ali Ibn Abi-Talib (the prophet’s cousin and son-in-law) prophesied that at the End of Times and just before the return of the Mahdi, the Ultimate Saviour, a “tall black man will assume the reins of government in the West.” Commanding “the strongest army on earth,” the new ruler in the West will carry “a
clear sign” from the third imam, whose name was Hussein Ibn Ali. The tradition concludes: “Shiites should have no doubt that he is with us.” In a curious coincidence Obama’s first and second names — Barack Hussein — mean “the blessing of Hussein” in Arabic and Persian. His family name, Obama, written in the Persian alphabet, reads O Ba Ma,
which means “he is with us,” the magic formula in Majlisi’s tradition. Mystical reasons aside, the Khomeinist establishment sees Obama’s rise as another sign of the West’s decline and the triumph of Islam.
Anonymous Coward
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07/19/2009 04:31 AM
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Re: Muslims believe President Obama is their awaited Messiah
Obama is everyone's Messiah.
Anonymous Coward
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07/19/2009 04:35 AM
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Re: Muslims believe President Obama is their awaited Messiah
I believe you're delusional




~~~~Believe what you want to believe, just don't forget how it may shaped our children happiness~~~~
Anonymous Coward
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07/19/2009 04:42 AM
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Re: Muslims believe President Obama is their awaited Messiah
Offended Muslim Syndrome & Self-Help Support Groups
By Red Square
12/4/2007, 9:03 pm




Following the misery inflicted on Islam by a toy bear that ended up with calls for the execution of an English woman, more Muslims are stepping forward with stories of long-suppressed emotional trauma imposed on them by so-called reality. This has led to the creation of support groups and social networks that help followers of the Prophet Mohammed cope with the agony of learning about life outside of their immediate environment, offering assistance with technical resources, practical guidance, and strategies for early intervention and punishment of those who offend Islam.
~
"I have always been offended by rubber ducks," says Mahmud Said of Portland, Oregon. "For a long time I felt stigmatized and inadequate, until one day I decided to write about it on an Internet forum. I received hundreds of heart-felt emails - from Morocco to Indonesia. It turns out that thousands of Muslim men between the ages of 18 and 35 have had traumatic experiences with rubber ducks.

"We started a support group that has grown to 10,000 members. Not only do we share horrifying rubber duck stories, we also try to increase public awareness by sabotaging the world supply of rubber ducks, setting fire to factories, abducting rubber duck distributors, and intimidating retailers. These are building blocks for our healthy future. With Allah as my witness, our public awareness campaign will soon result in a completely rubber-duck-free world."

Abdullah Sharif had just turned 35 when the Mohammed cartoon controversy suddenly broke out. It left him so emotionally scarred that he developed an aversion to representative art in all its forms. He often found himself shrieking while passing comics in a bookstore window, or seeing the funnies in the local newspaper. But while Abdullah had formerly been considered just another oddball, thanks to social networking, he is now a successful leader of an international charitable organization working for the betterment of humankind through imposing of Sharia law on the infidels.

His group covers a wide range of activities, from occasional riots, bombings, and beating of newspaper editors to writing threatening letters to the Cartoon Network. "One true believer may be a nutcase, but together we are the fastest growing religion on Earth, making the important cultural shift to a more Islam-dominated society that benefits both the true believers and the lowly kufir," boasts Abdullah. He recently moved to a new home in Malibu and is touring the world on a private Lear Jet.

Studies conducted by mental health professionals have shown that Muslim men and women are often offended by the most unexpected items, including baby rattles, hummingbirds, home appliances, or geographical maps with polar ice caps. On the top ten list of the most offensive things are rectal thermometers and the word "allometric," which many consider an underhanded insult to Allah.

Every such grievance is being thoroughly documented and acted upon by support groups and mental health providers, such as CAIR, that help victims to overcome their stress and anxiety by filing costly lawsuits against private institutions and government agencies.

The typical case involved a visitor from Egypt to Brooklyn, NY, who was offended by the sight of a cumulus cloud over Atlantic Avenue in the shape of the Arabic letter "A." By organizing protests and putting pressure on mass media, a network of Muslim groups and charities succeeded in forcing a Brooklyn judge to award the offended man $150,000 in damages, to be paid by the National Meteorological Agency. The Agency is the government body the Muslim groups deemed most responsible for regulating the proper distribution of water molecules over the New York metropolitan area.

Among the most bizarre cases is a lawsuit filed by religious and community leaders who claim that they are being unfairly targeted by gamma rays, neutrinos, and other forms of cosmic radiation. According to plaintiffs, the problem started immediately after they had complained to authorities about the disproportionately tangled shape of the Galactic magnetic field. Government agencies were fast to express dismay and sympathy for the victims, but none were willing to accept responsibility, and it seems they are playing a cynical game of administrative football with neutrino sufferers.

The World Health Organization (WHO) has called on national governments to provide financial backing for the network of Muslim self-help groups, twelve-step healing programs, and training camps, creating an environment that is more supportive and empowering for sufferers of Offended Muslim Syndrome (OMS).

"Being a Muslim today means to be always aware that something, somewhere, is somehow offensive to Islam," said a report issued by WHO, a specialized agency of the UN that acts as a coordinating authority on international public health. "It is a shame to see the wealthiest nations of the world stingily hold on to their pockets in the face of the largest epidemic of reality-induced psychological disorder in human history."

The WHO report provides a list of symptoms of the Offended Muslim Syndrome, suggesting that the condition be officially recognized as a disability, with the ensuing costs covered by Western governments. The report also includes advice and recommendations by leading UN-affiliated health professionals:
Symptoms of Offended Muslim Syndrome (OMS)

* Irritability, agitation, anxiety at the sight of women who are not fully covered
* Prolonged rage or unexplained killing sprees
* Significant changes in immigration patterns
* Brooding about the past glory of the Caliphate
* Decreased effectiveness and minimal work productivity
* Difficulty in understanding new information without a trial lawyer
* Feelings of despair or hopelessness about the existence of Israel
* Recurring thoughts of death to the infidels

In order to guard against OMS, health officials warn individuals who are at risk to make sure that the objective reality they are exposed to does not:

* Make them aware of the outside world
* Trigger curiosity about the Western notions of "logic" or "rationality"
* Make life more enjoyable
* Cause them to question the need for martyrdom
* Have side effects such as independent thinking and longing to live as a productive individual
* Create an illusion that communication with infidels is possible without hostage-taking

Spontaneously developed methods and techniques are already in place to help OMS sufferers: the Paris Youth Group, the Gaza System, the Beirut Procedure, and, of course, the Zawahiri Method - an easy-to-learn, do-it-yourself way to eliminate anxiety whenever you find anything offensive, by removing any negative thought or feeling below the neck of the offending party.

This method has proven to be particularly effective in breaking the patterns of thought and behavior among non-Muslims, whose very existence is suspected to be the leading cause of pain of anxiety afflicting the Muslim world.


lmao

jihad2 ocrocka
Anonymous Coward
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07/19/2009 04:45 AM
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Re: Muslims believe President Obama is their awaited Messiah
According to the tradition, Imam Ali Ibn Abi-Talib (the prophet’s cousin and son-in-law) prophesied that at the End of Times and just before the return of the Mahdi, the Ultimate Saviour, a “tall black man will assume the reins of government in the West.” Commanding “the strongest army on earth,” the new ruler in the West will carry “a
clear sign” from the third imam, whose name was Hussein Ibn Ali.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 729208


Can you explain please how President Obama is going to take command of China's Army?
Anonymous Coward
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07/19/2009 07:06 AM
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Re: Muslims believe President Obama is their awaited Messiah
Muslims are such CRY BABIES!!!!
Anonymous Coward
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07/19/2009 07:11 AM
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Re: Muslims believe President Obama is their awaited Messiah
According to the tradition, Imam Ali Ibn Abi-Talib (the prophet’s cousin and son-in-law) prophesied that at the End of Times and just before the return of the Mahdi, the Ultimate Saviour, a “tall black man will assume the reins of government in the West.” Commanding “the strongest army on earth,” the new ruler in the West will carry “a
clear sign” from the third imam, whose name was Hussein Ibn Ali.

Can you explain please how President Obama is going to take command of China's Army?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 724960


US Navy is still ultimate sea power, and China isn't able to destroy US with nukes, only Russia is. So considering these facts, US is still strongest military power in the world.
Anonymous Coward
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07/19/2009 07:27 AM
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Re: Muslims believe President Obama is their awaited Messiah
According to the tradition, Imam Ali Ibn Abi-Talib (the prophet’s cousin and son-in-law) prophesied that at the End of Times and just before the return of the Mahdi, the Ultimate Saviour, a “tall black man will assume the reins of government in the West.” Commanding “the strongest army on earth,” the new ruler in the West will carry “a
clear sign” from the third imam, whose name was Hussein Ibn Ali.

Can you explain please how President Obama is going to take command of China's Army?


US Navy is still ultimate sea power, and China isn't able to destroy US with nukes, only Russia is. So considering these facts, US is still strongest military power in the world.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 535854



Who can make war with the Beast?
Anonymous Coward
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07/19/2009 07:37 AM
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Re: Muslims believe President Obama is their awaited Messiah
I TOLD YA SO AGES AGO
now where did i put that thread
its here somewhere.
Anonymous Coward
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07/19/2009 07:42 AM
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Re: Muslims believe President Obama is their awaited Messiah
There is however one major problem in your post OP. There is no such hadith that was ever written.
People in the West or even Iran do not know how many hadith is quoted and believe anything that is published (not much difference than Western people here.LOL).

On another note Islam was Arab based with its language clearly Arabic which had nothing to do with Persian. All hadith were in Arabic. Hence the idea of OBAMA (O, Ba, Ma-- He is with us in persian) does not make sense at all. It was all spoken in Arabic and OBAMA in Arabic has no meaning at all.
Anonymous Coward
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07/19/2009 07:43 AM
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Re: Muslims believe President Obama is their awaited Messiah
“tall black man will assume the reins of government in the West.” Commanding “the strongest army on earth,” the new ruler in the West will carry “a
clear sign” from the third imam, whose name was Hussein Ibn Ali.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 729342

This is BS. There is no such Hadith





GLP