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Shit in the Darkness 3-18, 2 Hours with Hawk and Greg Evenson!
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[link to www.stevequayle.com]
As always, it's a good idea to use one of the non-mp3 streams, since it looks like they might not be working. If anyone cares, I'm on stream 5...
Evening all as always, thanks for stopping in.
Well, last week’s show was a bit odd, wasn’t it? Two hours of exactly the same thing. Not that it isn’t the same thing every week, but it’s never been this blatant of a re-hash.
I wondered why Hawk would do that, then it hit me; the only way Hawk would do something like this would be if he was told quite literally at the last minute he was doing both shows. I’m guessin’ Mr. Quayle called him minutes before the show to tell him to do the second hour. So, I’m giving Hawk a pass for this one.
I imagine the conversation from Mr. Quayle’s side of the phone went something like this…
Howk, this is Steve…Steve…Quayle…you know, your boss? Right, THAT Steve. Password? <sigh> “The bottom line is”. Happy now? Good. Look, you’re going to have to do the second hour today. Why? Because I heard there are some German troops here, and I have to talk to them. What do you mean, “how do I know”? Because I know! Their jackets have epilates on them. What do you mean most European coats have epilates on them and the military look is in this year? Where did you hear that? Oh, you read one of Deco’s posts about Hugo Boss’ clothes…<grumbles barely audibly> that prick again. Well screw him. I know soldiers when I see ‘em! I’ve watched enough old WWII movies and Hogan’s Heroes episodes to know a German solider when I see one.
I’m goin’ to the Waffle House and talk to them. What? Yeah, the Waffle House, they’re either there or the Old Country Buffett. I’m going to try and talk ‘em into going to the bar. Maybe a thousand dollars worth of shrimp and Heinekens will loosen their tongues. What do you mean “why Heineken”? Look, the Russians wanted vodka, so it follows….Fine, I’ll buy them whatever the hell they want. Hell, I might even throw in some of that Enerfood crap; it’s not like it’s movin’ anyway. It’s just clutterin’ up the damn house. Between that crap and my daughter’s CDs, you can’t turn around in this place. You should see its; it looks like the Home Shopping Channel in here; 6500 square feet of crap I can’t even give away. There so much shit layin’ around here I’ve had to move my gold to the garage. What’s that? Yeah it’s all in the top drawer, next to the screws; seems appropriate, don’t ya’ think? What? Irony? What’s that? Hock, I’m tellin’ ya’ for your own good, STOP LISTENING TO DECO! No good will come from it.
Look, I gotta go, those Germans aren’t gonna get drunk on their own. What do you mean, “what are you going to talk about”? How do I know? Just make some shit up like you usually do; just pull something out of your famous backside; that should work. Hell, say the same thing in second hour; I don’t care, it’s all the same anyway, besides they won’t know the difference anyway; they’re all too drunk to understand anyway, so fuck ‘em.
So, you got this, right? All right, now remember what I taught you; don’t think, just talk, it doesn’t matter what you say; it’ll make sense to someone, and that’s all that counts. If you start to run out of things to say, push the Enerfood, Collidal Silver and my gold company; that should give you plenty to fill. Don’t forget to run my commercial in the second hour; it’s they’re only things that really matters anyway.
Alright, talk to ya’ later. Give ‘em Hell! Good luck.
With that…let’s get on with the show.
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