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Illuminati Card Game - HELP SOLVE THESE CARDS
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[quote:Nyhee7 925613:MV8xMDI2NjEzXzE2MjYxMTE5XzI0NzQ5MkU2] The phrase on that card also refers to a speech of the Sub genius church, a classic speech of theirs that they revere, called, The Brag. The church of the sub genius is group I had always thought was a playful mockery of the other religious institutes, but instead it seems to be an actual satanic cult. Notice this speech seems to have some terms in it that are ahead of its time. hmmm Here's the speech. I've had to block out many of the cuss words so not to get banned... The web site is here: SHUT UP OR STAND UP! A fragment. Transcribed from a cassette tape recording made at a seance in 1973. "I PICK THE GOD DAMN terror of the f*g gods out of my nose! Pardon my language. But YEEEEEHAW, let the sons of God and man bear witness! Even in the belly of the Thunderbird I've been casting out the False Prohets; I'm busting a gut and blowing my O-ring, and ripe to throw a loaf! For I speak only the f*g Truth, and never in my days have I spoken other than! For my every utterance is a lie, including this very one you hear! I say, `F*'em if they can't take a joke!' By God, `Anything for a laugh', I say. I am the last remaining Homo Correctus, I am the god damn Man of the Future! I'll drive a mile so as not to walk a foot; I am a human being of the first god damn water! Yes, I'm the javalina humping junkie that jumped the Men from Mars! I drank the Devil under seven tables, I am too intense to die, I'm insured for acts o' God and Satan! I was shanghaied by bodiless fiends and alien jews from a corporate galaxy, and got away with their hubcaps! I cannot be tracked on radar! I wear nothing uniform, I wear no god damn uniform! Yes baby, I'm 23 feet tall and have 13 rows o' teats; I was suckled by a triceratops, I gave the Anti-Virgin a high-protien tonsil wash! I'm a bacteriological weapon, I armed and loaded! I'm a fission reactor, I fart plutonium, power plants are fueled by the sweat from my brow; when they plug me in, the lights go out in Hong Kong! I weigh 666 pounds in zero gravity, come and get me! I've sired retarded space bastards across the Cosmos, I cook and eat my dead; YAH-HOOOO, I'm the Unshaven Thorn Tree of the Atlantis Zoo! I pay no taxes! The Devil's hands are my ideal playground! I hold the Seven-Bladed Windbreaker; the wheels that turn are behind me; I think backwards! I do it for fun! My imagination is a f*g cancer and I'll pork it before it porks me! They say a godzillion is the highest number there is. Well by God! I count to a godzillion and one! Yes, I'm the purple flower of Hell County, give me wide berth; when I drop my drawers, Mother Nature swoons! I use a python for a prophylactic; I'm thicker, harder and meaner than the Alaskan Pipeline, and carry more spew! I'll freeze your seed before it hits the bathroom tile! YEE! YEEE! I kidnapped the future and ransomed it for the past, I made Time wait up for me to bleed my lizard! My infernal breath wilts the Tree of Life, I left my spoor on the Rock of Ages, who'll tear flesh with me, who'll spill their juice? Who'll gouge with me, whose candle will I fart out? Whoop! I'm ready! So step aside, all you butt-lipped, neurotic, insecure bespectacled slabs o' wimp meat! I'm a Crime Fighting Master Criminal, I am Not Insane! I'm a screamer and a laugher, I make a spectacle of myself, I am a sight! My physical type cannot be classified by science, my `familiar' is a pterodactyl, I feed it dips*ts! I communicate without wires or strings! I am a Thuggee, I am feared in the Tongs, I have the Evil Eye, I carry the Mojo Bag; I swam the Bermuda Triangle and didn't get wet! I circumcize dinosaurs with my teeth and make 'em leave a tip; I change tires with my tongue and my tool! Every night I hock up a lunger and extinguish the Sun! I'm the bigfooted devil of Level 14, who'll try to blow me down? I've packed the brownies of the gods, I leak the Plague from my nether parts, opiates are the mass of my religion, I take drugs! Yes, I'm a rip-snorter, I cram coca leaves right into my arm-veins before they're picked off the tree! Space monsters cringe at my tread! I wipe the Pyramides off my shoes before I enter my house. I'm fuel-injected, I'll live forever and remember it afterwords! I'm immune! I'm radioactive! Come on and give me cancer, I'll spit up the tumor and butter my bread with the juice! I'm supernatural, I bend crowbars with my meat ax and a thought! My droppings bore through the earth and erupt volcanoes in China! Yes, I can drink more wine and stay soberer than all the heathen Hindoos in Asia! YEEE HAW! Gut Blowout! I am a Moray Eel, I am a Komodo Dragon, I am the Killer Whale bereft of its pup! I have a triple backbone, I was sired by the Wolf Man, give me all your Slack! I told Jesus I wouldn't go to church and He shook my hand! I have my own personal saviors, I change 'em every hour, I don't give a f*k if there's life after death, I want to know if there's even any f*g Slack after death! I am a god damn visionary, I see the future and the past in comic books and wine bottles; I eat black holes for breakfast! I bend my genes and whittle my DNA with the sheer force of my mighty will! I steer my own god damn evolution! I ran 'em out of Heaven and sold it to Hell for a profit! I'm enlightened, I achieved `Nirvana' and took it home with me. Yip, yip, YEEEEEEE! I'm so ugly the Speed of Light can't slow me down and Gravity won't tug at my cuffs! When the Rapture comes, I'll make 'em wait! They'll never clean my cage! Now give me some more of..." (Tape runs out.) ----- Why would the illuminati card game author include a reference to this group, the church of sub genius, especially in the same reference to the end of the Earth? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Copyright 1980 by Douglass St. Clair Smith [/quote]
Original Message
I started this thread to help solve a few illuminati cards that have been driving me nuts. I figured someone out there could help unravel the mysteries.
First off, this starting post is to educate people on the illuminati cards. If you don't know, this is a card game made in 1995 by Steve Jackson. Jackson issued playing cards, three of which foretold the events of 9/11, and many more of which correctly predict events since then, including Hurricane Katrina.
Here are a few links to get you started.
[
link to www.cuttingedge.org
]
This blog is nice because he posts the card, then a news story or picture from real life to go with it.
[
link to greatdeceptions.blogspot.com
]
This site just has a bunch of cards to look at with explanations.
[
link to www.endtimescurrentevents.freeforums.org
]
Every card in the game in the link below. Thanks to AC 919366 for finding this.
[
link to cid-9f33f6e14912f497.skydrive.live.com
]
- expired link
Here is another link thanks to FooDStamp for every card in the game if you know the name of the card.
[
link to www.americalies.com
] - expired link
New Link with every card
[
link to todayperhaps.com
]
Example of the Obama card from 1995. (The second link has a picture to go with this, which looks eerily similar to the card). I'll get some more cards lined up later that we can dissect.
Edit: Here's a video for people who don't like to click links and learn things.
P.S. Special thanks to Phenommm because she usually starts these threads...
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