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Jedi warriors attack the evil NSA . . . Any questions?
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Original Message
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Almighty and merciful Trinity, you better pin this.
The Jedi warriors have attacked the evil NSA at their headquarters. 'Alleluya! Praises to the Lord!
By Jedi, I mean 12 angels with glowing light sabers, spiritual swords, and psychokinetic powers.
Kelly Romanovski is there, she's an angel. a former KGB sniper, with a record 758 kills. Mossad agent Michael Marvin Myers is there, and Archangel Michael 95,000 <sweeping the hand> years old is there too. Archangel Michael killed all of humanity, 12,435 years ago. He and hosts of celestial angels caused the great flood of Noah.
Glorious, glorious powerful angels, unstoppable warriors, impossible to kill, swift, graceful, smiling, grinning ear to ear as they knock down people with PK forces, full of power and gladness.
Elyon is there. He is approximately Yoda. 5 foot tall. Very strongly built man. Yoda means "knowing" in Hebrew. Elyon is also the legendary Chinese general Sun Tzu, 1.5 million <sweeping the hand> years old. "Kill you, kill you, I will." he says. He is the most powerful of the warriors. He has lightening bolts flowing from his fingers.
Queen Amidala is there, the actual famous actress Natalie Portman, is an angel. She has a yellow light saber, and she is cutting men from top to bottom and cauterizing their bodies with the heat of her light saber.
I am so happy to be alive.
There is no soft in me tonight.
Nuns and monks, angels, are there too, wearing appropriate Jedi robes, and strappy leather sandals. "I am blessing you as I kill you. Mercy be upon your soul," she says. Hair cut short like Joan of Arc. She's cutting the evil NSA agent's head off.
Ewan Macgregor, another angel, is there, reprising his Star Wars role. "Killing jedi is my speciality." His sword is green. Don't get tired Ewan. Thump, another body falls to the ground.
Are we done, are we done? I need an answer.
"Absolutely, we're not done yet," a female angel says.
NSA is totally evil organisation. They exist solely to suppress knowledge about angels, ETs, UFO antigravity technology, free power systems, things which would universally benefit humanity. They actually suppressed the reading and publication of Albert Einstein's 1947 foundational paper Quantum Gravitational Theory, in Physical Review Papers A. They are actual book burners.
We are killing about 85 NSA agents, every one that is in NSA headquarters excluding one nonviolent female who was forgiven, and I don't care who knows. Nobody seems to pay any attention to me anyway. I have approximately 1400 military angels protecting me, including about 12 Venusian militarily trained angels, on loan to me from Valiant Thor, awesomely powerful commander of Venusia, including the galaxy's most powerful cherubim. My cherubim has killed about 7500 people who tried to assasinate me. Goddamn them all. I have the absolute right to live, no matter who tries to kill me.
Blood and body parts are everywhere, and heads are rolling, the carpet is dark and soaking with blood. Soaking with blood, soaking, soaking, soaking with blood, soaking with blood.
That woman has a little blood on her white dress. She's wearing sandals. She's absolutely braless.
"Kill some people goddamn it, don't just stand there" a female angel says.
"I'm not tired, I'm just grossed out," she says.
"You can handle it, keep going," the female angel says.
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you, you goddamned NSA agents Archangel Michael says.
Die and go to hell for eternal damnation. I curse you, evil NSA agents. You have cursed the family of humankind with your iniquity. We want to leave this planet and join the galactic civilization.
Up yours
Up yours
Up yours
Up yours evil NSA.
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