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REPLY TO THREAD
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We are capable of such amazing, beautiful things...if we all were not so fearful of traveling through dark spaces
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Original Message
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We are capable of such amazing, beautiful things...if we all were not so fearful of traveling through dark spaces...Our presence in dark spaces without fear but with attitudes of love and relationship, transforms everything we come in contact with. Light shines the brightest in the darkest places. - SS
This is just a small part of my night a few months ago. I have hours and hours of conscious dreaming (lucid) along with astral travel type experiences. I cannot find a word to describe the states or places I go to, but I am fully conscious.
I will begin at perhaps half the way through my lucid night last night, so I am just going to jump right in. I travel and experience places in a continuous run of consciousness, just like traveling to different locales, remaining conscious the entire time. Sometimes it feels like I literally change places that I visit. When I am experiencing these things, it is 'realer' than this world, so it is difficult to explain the emotional/spiritual changes I go through as well.
Here we go:
At a certain point, I decided to ‘travel’. I float about 3-4 feet off the sandy beach, at night. The lighting is as if there are torches lit…a dull, wavering orange-ish light…or maybe like a beach bonfire under full moon. I spread my arms out and lean forward against a slight breeze, and I lift up into the night. I just go with it, having it take me wherever it chooses, leaving my mind empty of intention.
I begin to see where I am heading. It is a darker spot in the night sky…no stars…no moon…a black hole in the air above me. There are feelings always associated with this type of experience, and anxiety spreads its wings in my soul. So, I am going to the dark spaces. I don’t know where or what I will experience, but I have been to these places many, many times. They are not fun, but can be incredibly enlightening to the soul…
When I pierce through the black whole in the dark sky, there is a shift. It feels as if pressure has swallowed me completely, and I ‘turn’ upside down, falling fast and faster ‘down’. Vast areas like dark plains are coming up to meet me. On the black plains there are white holes, my perception sees them as the size of a quarter between my fingers of my outstretched arm. There are perhaps 3 or 4 white holes, and they vibrate…I choose one of them and head towards it. Everything is shaking until I ‘lock-on’ to it. It is like I must match vibration frequency, and then the desired hole stops vibrating and swallows me into it.
I keep going down. I know that the further down I go, the ‘darker’ the experience. I repeated the above experience, dropping down through a white hole to find myself still falling towards another layer of blackness with other vibrating white holes. Match vibrations and pulled through…until there is only one white hole in the blackness…sink through that one…I am laying in a small cramped space.
The space is about 2 feet high, about 6x6. There is a small dingy light on the ceiling (where I entered). It looks like I am underground, the walls, floor, ceiling made of dirt. This is how many of these dark places are like. They are claustrophobic, dirty and uncomfortable as there are ‘feelings’ associated with the places. It is as if the ‘place’ has emotions. This one…despair, no way out, etc. And, to top it off, it has dirty brown bugs crawling around in here with me. The ugly nasty things are about the size of a baseball glove. They notice me and begin crawling on me. I can feel the spindly legs gripping me, and an occasional bite. I can’t brush them off because there is not enough room.
I HATE this. It is horrible. The entire experience is like a worst nightmare. I am completely lucid, so I can easily wake up if I want. So, it is a decision that seems crazy…do I wake up, or keep going?
Fuck it.
There is another dingy light to my left a couple feet ahead of me. I crawl towards it, and go in it.
…and enter an identical place, but the light is in a different area. More of these nasty bugs, on the ceiling and walls. I crawl towards another light which takes me a few minutes. Go through it.
Again…again…
I don’t know how many times, but one time I notice something different. There is a dirty cloth curtain that I hadn’t seen before…maybe it was behind me the entire time. I turn around and crawl through it. It is like a partition to an even smaller dirty hole that I cannot fit completely in. Straight ahead of me is another curtain. To the left is a mirror. The mirror is unfocused, so I crawl very close to it and look at myself. Holy shit!
There are these bugs crawling all over me. I can feel them, but seeing them on me makes it a thousand times worse. There are huge bleeding swells on me where the critters have bitten and scratched me. I can feel them moving over me. My face is disfigured because of the bugs. Dirty, black and blue, swollen, bumps…I am close to panicking now. Fear is about to take over. It’s not worth going through this! And for what?! What the fuck am I doing!?
Seeing myself start to panic, makes me calm down, and I stare into the mirror. There is a critter on my hand. I want to shake it off, but there isn’t enough room. I bring my hand forward in front of my face and grab the thing with my other hand to try and pull it off. I can feel its legs, like a giant cockroach, clinging strongly to my hand. This…fucking…sucks…
I finally am able to pull it off, but I don’t have any where to put it. Straight in front of me is the mirror…the only place I can put it is…inside the mirror. My thoughts have calmed down. There was never any ‘fear’, but immense discomfort. I study the thing, wondering what it is, while putting it ‘into’ the mirror. As soon as it touches the mirror, it transforms.
A green tree frog. I laugh and smile…and grab another inset off of me…and touch it to the mirror…another beautiful green tree frog. I transform all the insects in my little dirty hole. It is beautiful…the frogs are transforming the entire place. The feelings of the place are changing, the colors, everything. They are going through it all, hopping everywhere, changing everything.
It is beautiful…I push through the other curtain and see yet another light...and go through it. Movement, vibrations…off to another place…
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