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Hit a dog with my truck tonight, Feel like shit.
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Original Message
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Driving to the store tonight, dark out, black lab comes bouncing out of the treeline right in front of me. I hit the brakes, dodged right as he ran left. He turns around right into the path of my truck. I hit him going about 40 (I think) after slowing down from 65 mph.
I pulled over, turned on my hazard lights, grabbed my flashlight from the truck, ran back to find him about 20 feet off into the bushes gasping and crying. His whole back half was crushed, innards dangling out, obviously beyond rescue. It was the most depressing thing I have dealt with in a long time.
He wouldn't let me touch him, and snapped at me when I tried to give him aid. It was obvious he was near death and in great pain.
I resigned myself to end his suffering.
I asked God to help me aim true and not make it worse. I never have been an active christian, and often struggled with my personal beliefs about God. Nonetheless, I told the dog I was sorry, that I loved him, and through the tears was able to fire one shot from my .45, ending his life.
Animals are innocent and of pure spirit- actions not predicated on malice or hate. I feel like I deserve something bad to happen to me now. I almost hope something does. Guilt I suppose even though I was unable to prevent it.
Yep, a bad day. I sat alone in my truck in the parking lot of the store for about an hour as tears flooded my face and shirt. Tomorrow I will return to collect him and give him a proper grave under the pine tree in my back yard.
Feels bad man.
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