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REPLY TO THREAD
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Subject
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BREAKING!!! Milk deliveries in UK now only once a month!!!!!
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User Name
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Original Message
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I received this letter from my milkman this morning. It makes for pretty scary reading....
Dear Customer,
As you are no doubt aware, we live in a world of escalating costs and living expenses and we in the Milk Provision Bureau (MPB) are no different. Running costs for our vans have now risen from £1.00 per mile (2008 figures) to £1.54 per mile (a rise of nearly 55%).
We regret that we therefore have to scale back our delivery service to a level more in keeping with today's social expectations.
As a result, milk will be delivered once a month. In order to facilitate the deliveries we intend to fit tasteful, double bunded tanks into your premises. These will come in a variety of sizes (although standard size will be 500 litres) and can be conveniently hidden behind bushes or even built into the load bearing walls of your abode. In addition, they will come in a variety of colours, blue (full fat), green (semi-skimmed) and red (skimmed). For those of you wishing to have a super cream milk we are also including a free 100 litre gold tank with every purchase of two or more standard tanks (500 litre minimum capacity).
As a further bonus, single cream, double cream and cottage cheese can all be dispensed into 50 litre "anniversary drums" for a nominal charge.
I'm sure the changes proposed will go largely un-noticed, although I would like to offer my apologies for any inconvenience in advance.
(name withheld for security reasons)
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