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Santorum performs exorcism on Zune MP3 player filled with gay porn as little girl watches in horror.
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Wal-mart tried to stop Santorum but was detained by secret service. The pope said it has not formerly trained the Senator and does not endorse his practice. According to sources several gay spirits were successfully excised but stole the Senator's napkins, sun glasses, sun screen and his umbrella while getting away. Authorities are asking questions.
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