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Subject Help I think maybe I'm really a woman!?
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Original Message Please, I'm confused, I just need someone to tell me, am I really a woman inside?

Of course I'm physically male.
I'm 28 years old.

I've been doing many weird things the last few months, stuff like tying my torso and upper thighs up with bands and belts, trying to make my posture and position different and more feminine by force (and it did work a bit even!). Almost similar to corsets and cinchers, only with bands and belts instead (this also allowed me to tie myself up so that my ass was sticking out really good and my back got arched, similar to feminine women).

Somehow it was a strange "desperation," want, and lust that came over me. For several years now, the absolute majority of times I masturbate, I must do something either "womanly" or, things that in conventional terms would be deemed gay or bisexual (passive side of that coin of course).
This has included many episodes of self-stimulation in a certain dirty place. And when I watch porn I get sooo extra-excited by anal porn and then I always imagine myself as the woman.

Of course I realize, many would say that is a sign of being gay if ever there was one, but no. I don't think I am. I wondered for a long time if I was bisexual, that's still a possibility, but now I'm not sure about that either. I also noticed I felt attracted to: sissy and cuckold lifestyle, mild bondage as in some tying up etc., being the passive and "used" partner, being more feminine and maybe even being a woman. Many of my urges and ways to arousal makes me rule out being gay. I am another one of those who are not super-attracted to men as such, it's just when I get horny, then I suddenly start lusting for d*ck - it's crazy, but when that happens, I can't do much about it.

I just don't know what's going on with me, at least not totally. Some of it I understand.

Actually I understand quite a bit. There is something quite strange, mystical about all this and what is going on with me. I think this might have to do with evolution, getting to the next step, becoming more androgyne/hermaphroditic, and so on.

Then there's all the strangeness in my life, and the strangeness about how everything got to this point. All I could mention, it could be quite the impressive and long story!! But that's not for this topic...


Anyway... The bottom line is that I'm really more about love and giving than power and taking... Maybe that's why I'm attracted to girls/women in this way - even wanting to become one. Because they're the most exceptional givers and unconditional lovers out there (when they're nice and loving women of course).


But... this might seem like a clear cut case, just go and get a change operation and so on. But I'm honestly still confused and don't know what choice to take...
You could say I'm at a kind of crossroads and need to choose between either taking steroids to "buff up" or maybe instead choosing female hormones and start going in that direction... The choice I have to make soon, is THAT extreme! Becoming a "bitch" or a "bodybuilder!" I don't know what choice I should make.... Help if you have anything worthwhile to suggest!
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