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REPLY TO THREAD
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Subject
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I am a drug fiend, a thief and a loser and yet I have nevr done drugs and I dont steal
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Original Message
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I used to be the bright light of the family a long time ago. There was a time when I was going places and I had alot of money and alot of friends. Then I lost my job and moved back with my parents. I moved back at age 26 up until now and I'm dead broke.
About 3 years ago my parents and family have started to come up with paranoid delusions that my failure in life is due to being a bad soul. It's just not true. I am mysterious and I do leave their place alone often and dissapear for many many hours but ya know what, i'm a 30 year old single male AND NOT an 18 year old. They just assume that i'm out breaking into houses and doing heroine and having sex with transvestites etc, they always accuse me of being the worst crackhead human being when I fail again to land a job.
Every time I get an interview for a job I get turned down and when I get turned down I come home only for them to beat me down even more. My mother screams at me like a banshee "you know we know what you're doing, out there hanging with druggies doing god knows what else" or her classic "you've changed, you're a loser, drug addict thief bastard son of a bitch get out of my house". I usually overcome her rants within minutes but today her rant was extra long and she truly picked me apart with her irrational truth about my situation. Sure she was wrong about everything she said but her intentions were right. She was right about me not having money and that I need a job. I just cant land a job that pays enough to move out. I would need 3 full time jobs just to move out. I'm up against a monument of pressure.
So today was the first day that she finally broke me down. She finally made my confidence lower. I am a very confident man when i'm away from them too. Women think i'm zeus as i'm so confident but when I get back home I have to put on the act that i'm depressed. I'm not depressed, I dont care about money, I cant stand money but I have to eat. I need food.
I try to get jobs but this economy is a vomit fest of not getting your voice heard. Theres no emotion in getting jobs anymore, it's just robotic applications over and over and over. Typing the same bullshyt and the same job/school sources over and over. My tenure of 7 years under a boss 4 years ago probably gets a reference call about me by the week. Every time she says I was a good employee but they just wont hire me anymore. I went through a string of 2 years of getting jobs easily, it's not me, it's the economy.
Everyone thinks i'm a drug fiend. I dont smoke, I dont do drugs, I eat as healthy as I can for my financial situation. I love to get out into nature, I drink alcohol sparingly. I am a good person and I am trapped in a hell hole surrounded by suspicious paranoid people.
What is wrong with a 30 year old man wanting to leave the home alone at night? I'm an adult. My uncle tod me last year he said "you look like a guy who should have his own home by now, have a wife and kids and a career, but you're right the economy is very bad and never think you're the only one in this position" He said that if I was born in 1945 that at age 30 I would have had a much easier time hitting homeruns with job advancements and career explosion.
The market is rugged. Too rugged, it's sick and you need a qualification to even do the slightest advancing in any company. Noone wants to just grab workers and say "hey, we're gonna teach you how to assemble a jet engine or hey we're gonna turn you into a manager we like your style. Noone has an eye out for talent anymore. It's just a reference...It's killing us. I'm talented, I can sustain a hard work load for many hours. I have a strong brain. Why the hell do they hold us back?
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