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The CDC Warns Us About Zombie Apocalypse
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[quote:Anonymous Coward 7027749:MV8xOTI3NDQxXzMyMjk3NTE3X0U3RTlEMDU0] I can explain the warning, the face-eater, etc. It's an old, old extinction event. As the waters get warmer, anaerobic bacteria spew hydrogen sulfide into the atmosphere. That is happening, has been for a while. Hydrogen sulfide is a broad-spectrum poison, but is a powerful neurotoxin. Mostly just knocks you dead, thus all the corpses being found in lakes, streams, washing ashore, in valleys, etc. It's heavier than air, so it accumulates near water. Anyway, in mammals, if you get just the right dose of hydrogen sulfide, it doesn't kill you, it puts you into suspended animation, slooooow pulse, very low body temp. Virtually indistinguishable from being dead. The you wake up - like that kid who woke from the dead and asked for water then died again. he was never dead the first time, just in suspended animation. The suspended animation thing doesn't have to happen for hydrogen sulfide to knock you crazy with neurological damage. It's just that you can't be SURE a person is REALLY dead with H2S in our atmosphere now. That's why so many headless corpses lately - the corpse cleanup crews working to keep this hidden from you are making SURE those bodies don't awaken, because if they do then they might look and act a whole lot like traditional zombies, and that'd be even scarier than people finding a bunch of dismembered bodies and headless corpses and such. Hydrogen sulfide is also terribly flammable. Have you noticed that combustion vehicles are bursting into flame now, all over? Hah, they are. In garages, in carparks, parked on streets, in driveways, on the road, etc. Everywhere. Buses, boats, RVs, cars, trucks, trains, lawn mowers, scooters, you name it. In the Great Dying, around 90% of everything on Earth died (worse in the oceans). The same is happening now, and we will be erased from the surface of the Earth very shortly now. The process is well underway. It'll mainly be poison and fires and explosions that kill us, and biogenic sulfide corrosion will erase most of the evidence that we were ever here at all. But there will indeed be the occasional 'zombie', people neurologically damaged and with all their higher functions destroyed (memory, language, conscience, etc). They aren't actually 'undead', so I call them 'neuro-zombies'. You won't catch it from being bitten by them. Instead, you MIGHT 'catch it' when you inadvertently breathe in an invisible hydrogen sulfide plume. Mostly though, that'll just kill you. [/quote]
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And now every retard that rolls around in the street on drugs is a zombie
You eat off someones face you're a zombie....
Welcome to the twilight zone!
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