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REPLY TO THREAD
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Subject
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The Fiber One Shit Challenge by AC 1450913
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Original Message
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I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE - UNTIL I READ THIS
"I can't recall ever shitting my pants, but once I came close.
Actually, it wasn't close, but it would've been epic had anyone been in the Wal-Mart bathroom with me that afternoon. The porcelain throne gods were divine that day.
So once I went on this diet and I bought this box of Fiber One cereal, the kind with the honey clusters in it, was rather tasty. When I got home from work about 4 o clock, I smoked a fat-ass spliff. I didn't feel like cooking so I grubbed down on another big bowl of cereal. Later than night after playing cards at a friend's house and stuff, I went home and had another bowl. And then another in the morning for breakfast, when I finished off the last of the box.
A day and a half later, I'm in Wal-Mart shopping. My stomach told me I had to get to a bathroom--Doo-Doo was knocking at the door! I HATE taking a shit in public bathrooms and I dreaded having an audience. But fortune shone down upon me, when I walked through the lavatory door and found myself alone with those pristine stalls of relief.
I entered the first one closest to the door, abandoning my cart with great haste outside in the aisle. After what seemed an eternity of getting my pants and drawers down to my ankles, I aimed my ass at the toilet and prepared to sit down for the beckoning.
The passage was so swift and powerful, I felt ejected back off the seat as though I'd been jet-propelled, like a hovercraft creating it's own gravity-well through sheer propulsion. They say Fiber cleans your colon, which I'd never had cleaned before, and as I gripped the sides of the seat tightly and felt everything loosen within myself during the purge, I remembered that box of cereal.
It wasn't turds or diarrhea, but one smooth and epic schlong of anti-matter. It even changed in the way it SMELLED about halfway through, and I felt as though I'd LOST something. It came out so fast and furiously that I immediately broke a sweat and it was all I could do to keep myself from crying out.
Afterwards, I wiped hurriedly before anyone could come in to smell the effects of my deep cleanse still lingering in the air. When I stood up, I knew and felt as though something profound had occurred within me, and with both shock and relief I peered down into the bowl, curious to identify everything I'd just left behind. It was the longest groman I'd ever seen coiled in the water, the peak just breaking the surface and offering still more essence of the prolific elimination. I observed that half of it was a different color, and I knew instinctively that it had been the "new" smell I'd experienced during the process.
Best shit I ever took. Later I coined it, "The Fiber One Shit/Challenge" upon recommending it to my friends and family.
DO IT!"
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