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Subject Is there a reason that I can't find god.
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Original Message YES GLP IT'S A GOD TOPIC AND MAYBE DEPRESSIVE TOO

I use to believe in God, I once believed there existed a place of permanent peace and happyness where all the loved ones I lost ones I have yet to lose (unless ofcourse I'm next in line to die) but something happened to me while I was young which killed my faith. I just was able to see a wholer picture and I saw how much sadness there was on Gods green earth. I saw the suffering, the hate, the blood, and the pain shared by humanity. I would ask God, and would ask Jesus for answers but not once in my entire life have never I felt either power answer back.

Now I am older and I have a more complete understanding, and I still suffer terrible depression, extreme anxiety which comes from no where. If Jesus is there I much desire his love, but it has never reached me even when I really put my "soul" into seeking some kind of divine guidance. If God and Jesus is real I feel terrible for every awful thought and curse I have put to his name, terrible... But why can't I have a true religious experiance, why did God create me in a way where it would be so difficult to accept his love?

There are also many religions in this world and the one you become apart of seems to be very dependent on how your parents raise you or what location of the earth you are born on.

Do I pray to Allah, God , Jesus , Pikachu , Buddah , Reptillian Alien God, Spaggetti Monster, who? Could God have not made this clearer for me to understand? Was it so nessecary to make it a game that pits us all against each other?

Please, so many people claim that God is with them, that Jesus is with them, that God can answer them, yet I receive nothing. In all my life I have had but 2 experiances with a being that may even be considered GOD and that was while I was on a psycidellic drug in which god came to me in a very very angry sort of way.

Why won't god come to me when I'm not on drugs, when I'm at my lowest point in life, begging for his presence, wanting his love, wanting to get to know this Jesus that I've heard so much about.

Why did god put me on the path that I am on, why? If god is real then I must be on the path to hell because I've never felt further from him. All I ask of GLP, if you talk to GOD. Please ask him or Jesus to drop by, help me get my life to a point where I can be happy, I want to work with out anxieties , I want to love and be the best I can, but there is so much poison infecting my mind I can not feel his power, I can not hear his voice.

God where are you.
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GLP