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I'm a little teapot
Ms Sans Serif
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[quote:The Light Under the Door:MV8yMDEzMTMwXzMzODczMTQ4Xzg3QUU3NUM1] [quote:Runaway:MV8yMDEzMTMwXzMzODcwMzY3XzM0MTY3MTU2] I highly recommend the book [i]Understanding Trauma and Dissociation[/i]. It's not directly specifically at RA/Mind Control survivors, but it's really helpful for understanding why flashbacks feel like the present and how to deal with these memories in a healing, productive way. It's really short and concise, which is even better. I'm brand new at this RA survivor shit, but I'm willing to offer up what little advice I can give. :) [/quote] :) Thanks. I'll have to look up the book. I like gaining access to my memories. They may be fucked up beyond belief, but they are mine. For the years between (when the memories were buried) it's like I was doing things without knowing where those actions were coming from, had strong opinions about things yet the opinions seemingly came out of thin air, and then there were my "random" overreactions to some things and the way I immediately protected anyone that might fall even vaguely into the category of covert abuser. It's so much easier to know where in the hell I'm coming from, even if it's a bad place..at least I can stop now and say "well maybe I'm being triggered by this now because they did A and B to trigger me like that back then". Or I can say..well, this one here is using classic trigger phrases on me to the point where I would have just felt seriously uncomfortable before and yet still put up with it, but now I'm thinking this isn't a healthy person to let in my life (not everyone does that to me but there have been a few over the years..can you imagine not even being able to identify people that could trigger you to do what they wanted instead of what you wanted? Jesus Christ, the least I should be able to identify is my own freaking abusers).. [/quote]
Unfortunately I have a long history with it or it's favourite twin cousin. A lot of it has been very painful, and as odd as it may seem to want to work through anything therapeutic on a public forum full of trolls, I really can't think of a better audience.
thread edited 12/22 to delete data
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