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I'm a little teapot
Ms Sans Serif
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[quote:The Light Under the Door:MV8yMDEzMTMwXzM0NjE3MTYxXzMzQ0I5MkVB] [quote:Blue Skies:MV8yMDEzMTMwXzM0NjA4NjE4XzY1MUE5M0VB] I'm sure once you have unsurfaced those memories. They can not be buried again. As an adult they would stay with you. Like any trauma, it as to be dealt with. The first step would be to understand that non of it was your fault....Which I'm sure is a hard thing to do :( [/quote] Hopefully the memories don't just re-submerge. I keep a journal to help me remember lots of them. It's more like an index it has so many and I can't bother to write every single one out in detail so it's just one giant list interspersed with stories. I'm not sure I would consider anything I was conned or forced into my fault. Maybe I did as a kid that fell for guilt trips. Reverse engineering the programming has been interesting. It's like learning how to hack. At first it's all "I need a code to get in here, where is the key?" and staring at a wall of indecipherable text. But slowly you learn to understand the programming enough to be able to slip in a few lines of your own text. Then you learn how to divert the processes. Then you learn how to create your own. And one day you discover that as much as a programmer would have liked to make the original imprint upon you, only you can be the original imprint on yourself and there is no code needed, because you are the very thing upon which all code is written. [/quote]
Unfortunately I have a long history with it or it's favourite twin cousin. A lot of it has been very painful, and as odd as it may seem to want to work through anything therapeutic on a public forum full of trolls, I really can't think of a better audience.
thread edited 12/22 to delete data
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