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Subject I have been in an extremely abusive relationship for 12 years

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Original Message I have never told anyone. I have been married since I was 17,now 29... he is 10 years older. He screams at me and calls me lots of names. Not like bitch or stupid but things like trashbag and retard. If I question anything he says. He threatens to kill me. He broke all the blood vessels in my eye two days ago by snapping a cord in my face. He is more verbally threatening than physical, but when he gets really mad he does hit me, just not every time. I have no friends or anyone for support. I dont even know why I am putting this on the forum. Maybe to just get it out of me. My eye hurts when I look at light. I tried to call the police but he broke the phone. Thing is, I am scared for him to leave because I have no one else in life but I do not love him. I have extreme anxiety attacks that he helps me through, so he isnt mean all the time. Just when I say something he doesn't like. I rarely leave my home. I have a dog that I love very much and he makes me happier than anything. This is the first time i have ever posted on GLP.I have been a lurker on a different account for a long time..I hope if the world does end my dog and I are the first to go.....

I am not here for sympathy, I do hope if there is someone out there who has been through similar and found a way out or some sort of self-therapy that really works, please share this with me.

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