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Subject
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Lonely in the San Fernando Valley
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Original Message
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What is one to do? I used to have a girlfriend, and just as many 'friends' as the next guy. I only have one single friend who I can truly call my friend, and my comrade. I met him in 9th grade, and since then we have been very close. but these days he is busy becoming an engineer and I'm left wondering what I should do?
I'm just a human being, and if it wasn't for the chemicals in my brain driving me crazy, pushing me to find some people to interact with, I'd be alright just going solo like I always have. I just don't see the point in making friends that I will never be able to talk to or be real with. What am I saying here? I don't even know. I've lost motivation to stay alive in a sense..my bedroom is filthy beyond imagination. It's almost like I'm ready to die. Not suicidal, but more like an animal that stops eating and slowly just curls up and dies. I feel so pathetic, wallowing in my own sorrow.
The chemicals in my brain are pushing me to find a female companion, but I know that it's not the way to go.
My license is supended, I have no car, I have no job. I don't have a single dollar in my pocket. I just want to be loved for who I am, but I know I have nothing to offer anybody. I am losing my footing. Staying awake in this world is becoming very tiring, and sometimes all I want is to not wake up in the morning.
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