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My marriage is in crisis
Ms Sans Serif
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[quote:Anonymous Coward 17418121:MV8yMDY5OTAzXzM0ODMyNTgyXzZGMTdFMzNB] If you think you have experienced love with your wife, wait til you have a child. Its the most over whelming feeling of love you will ever feel. Children are not easy but the Joy and pleasure they bring far outweigh any worry etc. Imagine a new life, a mini you, growing, learning and loving so much your heart feels like it could burst with happiness. Think about your role as a father as an extension of your marriage. Not a replacement. Do everything together with your new baby. [/quote]
Wife can't bear children of her own. We've tried the traditional way and we've tried artificial insemination. It's no go. Now she is desperate to adopt a kid from a third world country. I can't stand the idea.
I've never wanted kids - I don't know what good they're for. I don't see that I could gain anything positive from having a kid. Tremendous amount of work, worry and waste of money. I wouldn't have any time for myself or my wife anymore and my wife, in turn, would be occupied by the kid and his/her needs. I would be merely the one who brings in the money and provides housing so that she can play a mother. The Father Unit.
I consented to the humiliating artificial insemination process only because I love my wife and I can't stand to see her suffering from childlessness. I have doubts that I could have loved that kid. Having an adopted child would be even worse. If we manage to get one, I fear that I'll actually bear a grudge against the poor child. For ruining my marriage, for making our financial situation even worse, for occupying all the free time I have from my work, and so on.
Yet, I can't stand the idea of losing my wife and/or living the rest of our marriage in silent despair and passive-aggressive environment because I refused her only chance to have a child.
So what good are kids for? Please tell me. I so much want to change my mind and see something positive in having a child, but I just don't see it.
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