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My marriage is in crisis
Ms Sans Serif
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[quote:Anonymous Coward 6595530:MV8yMDY5OTAzXzM0ODMyNzEwXzUzNUZFRDMx] did you discuss your plans to have or not have children before you married? i think the choice to have or not have children is a core life goal/value/hope/dream that should most definitely be discussed before entering into a marriage. marrying someone who does not share the same values will absolutely lead to a crisis or two or twenty in the course of married life. it saddens me to hear you speak of children in the way that you do. children are created out of love to be loved. [/quote]
Wife can't bear children of her own. We've tried the traditional way and we've tried artificial insemination. It's no go. Now she is desperate to adopt a kid from a third world country. I can't stand the idea.
I've never wanted kids - I don't know what good they're for. I don't see that I could gain anything positive from having a kid. Tremendous amount of work, worry and waste of money. I wouldn't have any time for myself or my wife anymore and my wife, in turn, would be occupied by the kid and his/her needs. I would be merely the one who brings in the money and provides housing so that she can play a mother. The Father Unit.
I consented to the humiliating artificial insemination process only because I love my wife and I can't stand to see her suffering from childlessness. I have doubts that I could have loved that kid. Having an adopted child would be even worse. If we manage to get one, I fear that I'll actually bear a grudge against the poor child. For ruining my marriage, for making our financial situation even worse, for occupying all the free time I have from my work, and so on.
Yet, I can't stand the idea of losing my wife and/or living the rest of our marriage in silent despair and passive-aggressive environment because I refused her only chance to have a child.
So what good are kids for? Please tell me. I so much want to change my mind and see something positive in having a child, but I just don't see it.
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