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My marriage is in crisis
Ms Sans Serif
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[quote:andawg221:MV8yMDY5OTAzXzM0ODMyODEwXzU4MDNBQTBD] [quote:Anonymous Coward 24156714:MV8yMDY5OTAzXzM0ODMyNzUzX0FFM0E3OThG] She just wants what she cant have. If you cant have your own forget it. Even if you take in a child it will be a little carbon copy of the parents it probably never met. Think about that. Now it's your nightmare. These people on here spewing all this lovie dovie crap must be smoking crack. You think your marriage is in crisis right now? Throw in a reject or two and know the true meaning of crisis. [/quote] This is actually true, said very cruelly... But true. A family member couldn't have kids so they adopted. Within a year or two they had filed for divorce. They are doing all the counseling and other bs. But it has definitely been hard on them! [/quote]
Wife can't bear children of her own. We've tried the traditional way and we've tried artificial insemination. It's no go. Now she is desperate to adopt a kid from a third world country. I can't stand the idea.
I've never wanted kids - I don't know what good they're for. I don't see that I could gain anything positive from having a kid. Tremendous amount of work, worry and waste of money. I wouldn't have any time for myself or my wife anymore and my wife, in turn, would be occupied by the kid and his/her needs. I would be merely the one who brings in the money and provides housing so that she can play a mother. The Father Unit.
I consented to the humiliating artificial insemination process only because I love my wife and I can't stand to see her suffering from childlessness. I have doubts that I could have loved that kid. Having an adopted child would be even worse. If we manage to get one, I fear that I'll actually bear a grudge against the poor child. For ruining my marriage, for making our financial situation even worse, for occupying all the free time I have from my work, and so on.
Yet, I can't stand the idea of losing my wife and/or living the rest of our marriage in silent despair and passive-aggressive environment because I refused her only chance to have a child.
So what good are kids for? Please tell me. I so much want to change my mind and see something positive in having a child, but I just don't see it.
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