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My marriage is in crisis
Ms Sans Serif
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[quote:Anonymous Coward 28071438:MV8yMDY5OTAzXzM0ODMyODU1XzRDMDU5Qjg3] OP Why don't you just enjoy each other and work on your marriage? Why do you want kids? This is a pretty shitty world and by the looks of things; it will be VERY bad place to live in by the time that kid is in his or her 20s. Adopt a child if you have a need to raise a kid Personally, I don't see the need to have kids in this world I am a woman as well. I made a decision at 18 never to have kids AT 49, I know it was a great decision Life is hard; why complicate it with a child? [/quote]
Wife can't bear children of her own. We've tried the traditional way and we've tried artificial insemination. It's no go. Now she is desperate to adopt a kid from a third world country. I can't stand the idea.
I've never wanted kids - I don't know what good they're for. I don't see that I could gain anything positive from having a kid. Tremendous amount of work, worry and waste of money. I wouldn't have any time for myself or my wife anymore and my wife, in turn, would be occupied by the kid and his/her needs. I would be merely the one who brings in the money and provides housing so that she can play a mother. The Father Unit.
I consented to the humiliating artificial insemination process only because I love my wife and I can't stand to see her suffering from childlessness. I have doubts that I could have loved that kid. Having an adopted child would be even worse. If we manage to get one, I fear that I'll actually bear a grudge against the poor child. For ruining my marriage, for making our financial situation even worse, for occupying all the free time I have from my work, and so on.
Yet, I can't stand the idea of losing my wife and/or living the rest of our marriage in silent despair and passive-aggressive environment because I refused her only chance to have a child.
So what good are kids for? Please tell me. I so much want to change my mind and see something positive in having a child, but I just don't see it.
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