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My marriage is in crisis
Ms Sans Serif
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[quote:Sloane:MV8yMDY5OTAzXzM0ODMyOTQ4XzJBNkRCQzRD] Well I don't know you OP but I have to say that I have several male friends who felt EXACTLY the same way you describe. But in their early forties gave in so their wives would be happy. And they ALL completely fell in love with their kids! It's so much fun to tease them about it now - and they just can't beleive they ever felt that way. Children just bring so much unexpected joy into your life. :kidlaugh: [/quote]
Wife can't bear children of her own. We've tried the traditional way and we've tried artificial insemination. It's no go. Now she is desperate to adopt a kid from a third world country. I can't stand the idea.
I've never wanted kids - I don't know what good they're for. I don't see that I could gain anything positive from having a kid. Tremendous amount of work, worry and waste of money. I wouldn't have any time for myself or my wife anymore and my wife, in turn, would be occupied by the kid and his/her needs. I would be merely the one who brings in the money and provides housing so that she can play a mother. The Father Unit.
I consented to the humiliating artificial insemination process only because I love my wife and I can't stand to see her suffering from childlessness. I have doubts that I could have loved that kid. Having an adopted child would be even worse. If we manage to get one, I fear that I'll actually bear a grudge against the poor child. For ruining my marriage, for making our financial situation even worse, for occupying all the free time I have from my work, and so on.
Yet, I can't stand the idea of losing my wife and/or living the rest of our marriage in silent despair and passive-aggressive environment because I refused her only chance to have a child.
So what good are kids for? Please tell me. I so much want to change my mind and see something positive in having a child, but I just don't see it.
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