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Subject Why I'm proud

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[quote:K.Kool:MV8yMDcwMTgzXzM0ODM5ODQ5XzJERkMxREM5]
[quote:Anonymous Coward 4473716:MV8yMDcwMTgzXzM0ODM5MzQxXzJGNzI3QTFB]
Nice self rant.
Personally I don't see anything wrong with pride.
Or self rants.
I'm proud of many things I've done-with my artwork I always aim for 100% knowing I'll fall short, but I do the best I can.
Etc.
And in real life I refuse to grovel or abase myself for anything or anyone, which others sometimes choose to find upsetting.
I remember once someone sharing with me (gee thanks)that he thought I was "arrogant, pigheaded and stubborn"
"But those my virtues!" LOL.
Was I expected to be subservient,wishy washy and weak willed to make him and others happy?
Not going to happen.
Arrogance, on the other hand. which is an inaccurate sense of your own self importance... well sooner or later everyone finds out they're not the centre of anyone else's universe.
That's probably what Jesus was really talking about, rather than being a nice sheep like person.
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Haa, yep, I get called opinionated and stubborn, but I've never got it, why giving an opinion, especially when something untrue gets sprouted as almost irrefutable,
is a rude or a bad thing to do.
It's not like I don't listen well. In fact, I listen with far more attention that nearly everyone I meet.

I guess I drop into arrogance on occasion, at least in my own head, and probably on the forums, lol, those who know me well say I'm not arrogant, but I can't be a sheep either.

I think Jesus meant the kind of blindness, that can't see your faults, and judges everyone else..

One thing though - wishy washy wimpiness makes me arrogant!
[/quote]

Original Message I've been grappling with my pride over the last weeks, trying to catch it in the act, and I'm beginning to recognize a certain feeling that precedes an attack, like I'm gathering up my strength, drawing it in close around me, and shut off my heart.
I'm not clear yet, on what triggers it.
I suspect this is what's known as 'false pride' and I started using it to get through tough situations.
The words that go through my mind are along the lines of
'fuckyou arsehole' and 'I don't give a shit'.
I like being right, maybe too much, but I'm also so wrong at times it's humiliating.
It's been interesting to discover another sort of pride, that is more like a quiet confidence, and is based on some real qualities and achievements:

1. I've brought up 4 wonderful, capable children.

2. I didn't give up on my daughter with the Prader-Willi Syndrome, but kept striving to prolong and improve her life, she is now in a great house, living independently with carers and activities, under my supervision, so many times I
thought I couldn't keep going, but I have.

3. I'm over 50 but I can run, surf, dance, work hard, my body can do everything I want it to.

4. I live in one of the best places in the world, pristine, safe, beautiful, I chose it, and it continues to amaze and support me.

5. My mind has not atrophied.

6. I can write, and my creativity does not grow dull very often.

7. I'm highly educated, earned my degree and a bit more.

8. I've cleaned when I've had to, to make a living.

9. Not too proud to say sorry and mean it.

I'll keep this true pride, I've earned it, but I'll gradually erode the false one, it's a big splinter in my eye and I don't need it.

End of self-rant

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