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dating&romance advice - see Don´tBeAfraid´s tips/explanations - edited to have only the useful information for ya!
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[quote:Anonymous Coward 24410859:MV8yMDcwODEwXzM1Mzk3MTE3X0QzRUVENEY2] Phoenixe, I smell a rat. I'm sorry, but this guy does not sound to me like he is telling the total truth about some things, or ready to give up bachelorhood, even at his age. And, at this point, he is not seeming very interested to me, except for mixed spurts of little things or signs of caring. I think he is giving the impression of being open, and helpful, but some things just don't add up in his behavior for me, from the beginning. It sounds almost like some sort of emotional game work to me, he acted like he didn't want to be around you, but also told you he had presents...to me, he is not being clear about where you stand in his life. And if it is wearing down your self-esteem in any way, or is making you feel badly, don't stick around just to try and understand what happened and get closure (as tempting as I'm sure that is). Not all men are like this, just as not all women are. But, some people are. They are just not wanting commitment, and will get involved with someone else who does want it, anyway. A lot of people have trust issues. You've said that you have them, I'm sure he does, too. He has had a bad relationship before with an unstable ex (he said), so maybe his trust is a little bad right now. But, to me, certain behavior does not sound particularly healthy. There is paranoia, and then there is intuition. I'm sure you know paranoia is different from intuition, and I do not think you were being paranoid. I think you felt some things were not making sense, and you were being hard on yourself thinking you were overreacting or blowing things out of proportion, but the same questions kept coming back. I think the questions about what he is doing are coming back for a reason. That you want a stable relationship, and your heart knew you were not going to get it from his direction, as upsetting as it was, even if he was being nice or caring at times. Not to take away at all the nice things he's done, or the times you've shared. But, it's my feeling that you deserve to have someone who is on the same page as you are, at the same time, from the beginning. He knew what you were about when he got involved with you, if he's not fulfilling it in pretty much any way at this point, my advice would be to move on. It can be hard, I'm sure, if there's no closure, but I really think you'd probably be happier with a person who really wants to go for the relationship thing, and doesn't send mixed signals. It doesn't sound to me like he's willing to tell you he doesn't want to be involved, maybe he does not want to upset you. You will get past this. A better match, more suitable for you and the other party is out there, I'm absolutely certain. Keep hope, keep putting yourself out there, and in the meantime, if you feel you have trust issues, why not use this time to work on that, in the meantime? It will be ok. :hf: ((((((HUGS!))))) [/quote]
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