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A somber religious post (I need help)
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[quote:Spickets:MV8yMDgxNjYwXzM1MDUyMDI4XzU2MEMzNEUw] I wish you all the best. It truly sounds as though you have passed the worst. Remember in this life or the next our actions come back around until we have learnt from them. [quote:Anonymous Coward 17037961:MV8yMDgxNjYwXzM1MDUxOTE0XzY5RjNCRjY5] [quote:Anonymous Coward 4781813:MV8yMDgxNjYwXzM1MDUxNjQzXzgxQkM5OUIy] Read The Prodigal Son [/quote] This. Everyone goes through rough patches. I lost everything. my job. my life. my health. My child was aborted. I became a full blown cocaine addict. Fought my friends. Started vandalizing every time I got drunk. Went too jail three times this year, had the paramedics revive me a couple of times. I spend my days lonely and suicidal. I have court on Tuesday for break and enter. And I'm in a lot of debt. I was an atheist. But now a Christian. It is absolutely hard, hard to watch those who are backstabbing evil people get ahead in life while you are left in the dust. But it's almost over. I tell myself that every day. God forgives, he knows the pain your going through. When Jesus was on the cross, he was suffering, all the sin was entering him (so he was the ultimate depressed person) and all his friends were saying "crucify him crucify him!" and he still asked God too forgive them. Forgive yourself and get strong. [/quote] [/quote]
Original Message
Born and raised an atheist. Not a good person; I've gotten into so much trouble with so many people for so many reasons. It feels like no matter how hard I try I can never totally overcome my worst vices like being overly judgmental, wrathful, and impatient; being lustful and sexually deviant; being cruel, deceitful and manipulative.
Recent months have been a milestone for me. I went back and rediscovered Jesus' teachings. They've been a great source of inspiration and affirmation for me, but wow do I keep messing up despite my best intentions.
I feel like I keep inviting God into my life and then slamming the door in His face. I'm trying to open myself up and accept the Spirit, but it's hard work undoing a lifetime of materialistic programming.
I guess all I'm saying is I'm really lost right now. I'm struggling so much in my personal life and I know I'll never overcome these obstacles without strength bestowed from above. Even with that being said, I keep having such a difficult time taking my newfound faith seriously.
Also, I'm very nervous that a lifetime of bad behavior and cursing His creations (as well as Him Himself on more occasions then I would like to admit) has left me out in the cold, with no chance to be 'taken back in' from this wilderness of vice. I seriously feel like I may be doomed.
Pray for me?
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