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Subject A somber religious post (I need help)
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Original Message Born and raised an atheist. Not a good person; I've gotten into so much trouble with so many people for so many reasons. It feels like no matter how hard I try I can never totally overcome my worst vices like being overly judgmental, wrathful, and impatient; being lustful and sexually deviant; being cruel, deceitful and manipulative.

Recent months have been a milestone for me. I went back and rediscovered Jesus' teachings. They've been a great source of inspiration and affirmation for me, but wow do I keep messing up despite my best intentions.

I feel like I keep inviting God into my life and then slamming the door in His face. I'm trying to open myself up and accept the Spirit, but it's hard work undoing a lifetime of materialistic programming.

I guess all I'm saying is I'm really lost right now. I'm struggling so much in my personal life and I know I'll never overcome these obstacles without strength bestowed from above. Even with that being said, I keep having such a difficult time taking my newfound faith seriously.

Also, I'm very nervous that a lifetime of bad behavior and cursing His creations (as well as Him Himself on more occasions then I would like to admit) has left me out in the cold, with no chance to be 'taken back in' from this wilderness of vice. I seriously feel like I may be doomed.

Pray for me?
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