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04:55 AM
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Anyone that could help I'd forever appreciate
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[quote:He Is Risen Indeed:MV8yMDkzMTI0XzM1MjM4MDkzX0JGRTZFRTI2] I've lived your life too, and while the whole idea has crossed my mind way too many times in the past, I decided a long long time ago that after working so hard to stay ahead of that evil wave, to kill myself would probably bring all the evil things and people who worked so hard to get me to kill myself much happiness so I decided to endure and get through it. It helps that I believe in God and Jesus and have found reading the Bible is extremely helpful in times of particular darkness. I am extremely frustrated with how bad things continually are and maybe it makes me stupid, but I just keep going about my life as if I'm going to win it just because they don't deserve watching me fail. Please consider this, I swear to you I've been there, am there and will probably always be wearing your shoes. Praying for you just as I pray for myself. Hang in there...please! The good news is the harder you try to make it good sometimes good stuff slips through anyway and it gets the people who want you to fail really crazy and while they redouble their efforts it gives me great satisfaction I'm OK and going strong. People have found I am probably the most determined, most stubborn person they've ever tried to destroy. Sorry, don't understand how this posted twice. [/quote]
Original Message
Hi, let me start off by saying my life has been one train wreck after another. My whole childhood was shit. Growing up I've always tried to do the best I can to help those around me. Now I've lost everything. I lost the one girl that made me feel human, which is something I never knew before. I lost all of my friends because of immature acts of fools with Peter Pan Syndrome. My family is so fucking twisted I can't even speak of them without flying into an emotional cocktail of rage and sadness. I have no job now. I got thrown out of school over a technicality. I am slowly losing touch with my faith and with hope. Every day I wake up I wish I hadn't. I beg God for help and guidance and nothing ever comes. I've tried to kill myself 5 times in the past six months and for what ever mystical cruel universal prank I can't. I've spoke to doctors they tell me that nothing is wrong with me and no medication in the world can help. They have tried everything from anti-depressants to mood-stabilizers nothing works. I honestly don't know why the hell I'm even bothering to post anything on here seeing as only about 2% of anyone takes anything seriously. But I guess I have no options. Please, does anyone have any advice what so ever?
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