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Subject Why men cheat - this is for all you ladies out there

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[quote:Anonymous Coward 28249357:MV8yMTA5NDg3XzM1NTgwNTQyXzY4MkM5RDQ5]
[quote:Anonymous Coward 25254305:MV8yMTA5NDg3XzM1NTc4OTE0X0IyQzY4QTYz]
Have you asked HER what you need to do in order for her to be attracted to you again?

Marriage takes 2 to fail, and if you think you're perfect and the demise of the marriage is all on her, your going to make the same mistakes in your next relationship.

If you're not willing to do some introspection on yourself, and just want to blame...well good luck with that!
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I never said I was perfect, but I am a great provider, listener, and friend to my wife.  We grow together intellectually as friends, just not as lovers. I believe the core problem with her sex drive is related to her strict religious upbringing and her guilt for sexual intimacy.  She says that she is still attracted to me, but that she just lacks the sex drive and she doesn't find sex appealing period.  She perceives it as a duty and she has said outright in one of our discussions that she could live without it for the rest of her life and be quite happy not thinking about it with anyone.  I guess you'd have to see if from within to see that she really doesn't have a sex drive with me, anyone else or even herself.  What this 10 year marriage has taught me is that some women are takers and some are givers.  My wife is a taker that gives very little back to anyone in her life including her friends.  If I would have recognized this in her at the beginning I would have never have dated her let alone married her.  When we were dating she felt like I was about to break up with her and she sent me an email stating that "to wish for a bracelet of blood was cathartic", and she cut her wrists (slightly) with a knife to make me feel sorry for her and stay.  I wasn't even thinking about breaking up with her at that time, I was just busy studying for exams as it was my last year in business school.  My friends told me that I should have ran and I should have listened.  My thoughts on this now that I am a bit older and wiser is that this was an extremely selfish act on her part and it speaks volumes of who she is.
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Original Message I have been married for 10 years and I have been faithful to my wife. I love her and she is my best friend which is why I didn't cheat. The problem is that we have such mismatched sexual needs. Before marriage my wife used to perform oral on me quite a bit and we had a good sex life. After marriage within the first year there was a huge change. It seems to me that she did what she needed to do to keep me interested enough to get me to marry her. We have sex only when she is in the mood which is about twice a month. When I try initiating anything she comes up with excuses or complains about it. She recognizes that she has a low libidio and has said that she wishes that mine matched hers. I feel myself drifting and moving more and more away from her and I am not in love with her anymore. She still feels like a best friend, but I find myself frustrated and I am starting to resent her as a wife. What is running through my mind is that I am thinking if leaving her as the temptation to cheat is just becoming so strong. So if you want to keep your man interested in you and your marriage then feed he needs. It is very simple as men express and feel love for their partners through sex. It is what bonds us to you and what makes us move mountains for you. We are simple creatures that way.

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