Users Online Now:
GLP Poker Rooms
GiveMeGossip.com - Gossip Forum
Donate To GLP
Back to Forum
Back to Thread
REPLY TO THREAD
27 years ago...I took my life with a rifle.
Ms Sans Serif
In accordance with industry accepted best practices we ask that users limit their copy / paste of copyrighted material to the relevant portions of the article you wish to discuss and no more than 50% of the source material, provide a link back to the original article and provide your original comments / criticism in your post with the article.
[quote:Anonymous Coward 29749468:MV8yMTEwNzI0XzM1NTg0MTk5X0E2QTdERkVF] God Bless you op. We can stop the cycle of abuse and I remind myself every day that my children will never know the life I did. I never attempted suicide but I had another life in my dreams and I would go to sleep early with anticipation that in my sleep, in my dreams, I could be happy and no longer afraid. I actually thought the abuse was normal until I was 14. Now it is as if I can correct the wrong doing by hugging my children and telling them I love them. Breaking the cycle is therapy in itself to me. Carry on my friend, hugs to you. [/quote]
Twenty seven years ago, at age 16. I took the end of a rifle and put it 1 inch from my heart and pulled the trigger.
Here on Jan 24th I will celebrate my 27th life anniversary.
I used to have a F/B account and wanted to acknowledge my upcoming anniversary but I discontinued my account two weeks ago (don't miss it). I started a suicide prevention page last year, I do miss the page but I left some admins behind to run it for me.
I suffered/suffer with debilitating bouts of depression. I grew up in an abusive home. On occasion I was hit until I bled and was blamed that the beatings...were my fault. I lived in fear for my life from the abuser. One night, when I was 14...the man stopped a truck in the middle of dark reasonably busy road. He turned out the lights on a blind curve, to yell at me for several minutes. I had a chainsaw swung at my head one afternoon. Locked in a bare room for days on end...it goes on. I tried for 7 months to reach out for help. I demonstrated many of the classic signs and symptoms of a suicidal person: I gave things away. I talked about no future...was obsessed with death. Cuts, bruises started to show up on my body. I even read an entry in an encyclopedia entry on suicide to see what I should be doing.
I finally gave into to suicide in June 1985. I made attempts at suicide from June to Jan. or "shows of suicide"... I made a pact with myself. I decided that between Jan 1- May 30...in 1986 I would shoot myself. I reached the resolution phase. The abuse at home was always bad over summer. I was safe in school or in public. The abuser was a high ranking police official. Because, i knew I was going to be dead I had no need for grades or school....my semester collapsed. Classes I typically maintained a passing grade...collapsed to failures. (Another sign something was wrong). I enjoyed my last Christmas. To this day Bruce Springstein's "Santa is Coming to Town" causes PTSD flashbacks. The song was played all the time on the radio a month before I shot myself.
On Jan 23, I brought home the worst grades ever. My step mother happened to catch a look at my brothers grades before mine. His grades weren't bad, but he had seen what happened to me growing up and he was afraid. My step mother warned me, "For your sake...your grades had better be better than this or I wouldn't put it past your father to hurt you."
I had my plan in place. I lied to her. I told her my grades were actually very good and I would have them for her on Monday. They were in my pocket. My exact thought..."It's time" My father got home and bought the lie as well. He gave me a very long list of chores to do for the next day. This list...like the report cards sealed my fate for the next day.
The next day Jan. 24th I got home from school. I set my plan into motion. I snuck a .22
Pictures (click to insert)
Big Round Smilies
Aliens and Space
Friendship & Love
Misc Small Smilies
View All Categories
Next Page >>
U.S. Senate candidate admits to sacrificing goat, drinking its blood
Montana Law Taking on Federal Militarization of Police Now in Effect
Was Aleister Crowley The Grandfather Of George W. Bush?
“Camping” on Your Own Land is Now Illegal — Gov’t Waging War on Off-Grid Living
Media Continues to Call for the Use of Gov’t Force to Confiscate Millions of Guns
Hillary’s Already Planning to Sign Executive Orders for Gun Control If She’s Elected President
Free Speech Watch: Prior Restraint Makes a Comeback as US Courts Seek to Squelch Dissent
Did the UN Really Install a Global Police Force at the Local Level?
Delta Force Planned to Stage a Fake Hijacking After 9/11
This Is The World’s Most Amazing Clock, It’s Movement Is Completely Mesmerizing
Researchers Just Made Batteries From Mushrooms… And They’re Surprisingly Good‏
ISIS issues a grave warning to America: We have scores of "trained soldiers" positioned in 15 states and we're ready to attack.
Top Scientist Resigns Admitting Global Warming Is A Big Scam
The UN’s Disturbing Vision Of The Future Of The Internet
VIDEO: Did A UFO Shoot Down The Russian Meteor?
VIDEO: McDonalds – The Ten Most Disgusting Things Found In Its Food
Amazon Indians Say Earth Has A Subterranean World Underground
KID TAKES OUT STEP DAD HITTING MOTHER (VIDEO)
A 10 Pound “Miracle” Fruit That Smells Like Rotting Onions and Tastes Like Pulled Pork Could Save Millions From Starvation
Experts Warn Of New Facebook 'Dislike Button' Scam
NASA To Reveal 'Major Science Finding' On Mars
Pope Francis: I'm Not A Liberal, My Doctrine Is The Doctrine Of The Church
Proposed Bill Would Cease Pay For Lawmakers During Government Shutdown
Pope Claims Jesus Failed On The Cross
Something Did Happen in September
This Flag Represents The Principle, "Fight For What You Believe In."
This Is The Rebel Flag, "You're Either Free Or You're Not."
Disclaimer / Copyright Info
with questions or comments about this site.
"Godlike Productions" & "GLP" are registered trademarks of Zero Point Ltd. Godlike™
Website Design Copyright © 1999 - 2015 Godlikeproductions.com
Page generated in 0.006s (5 queries)