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Subject
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Controlling Parents
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Original Message
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My parents lived in another country for most of my college life and the initial 4-5 years of married life. We visited them once a year, and they were just wonderful. Non interfering, happy to help, and just generally positive. They have always been penny pinchers, but it was something that we didnt focus on.
They retired a couple of years ago, and the first year they lived with my little son, my husband and me. They were a huge pain. We moved out of the master bedroom so they could be comfortable, and slept on a mattress on the floor in the guestroom. They didnt contribute to any expenses. My mum helped out with chores now and then. But they would always hog the TV, the computer and everything else. We both work, and would come back tired, and couldnt even watch TV of our choice. But, we put up with it all, and never said a word. Now they live nearby (about 5 mins walk) and are a constant nuisance. They just pop by unannounced, interfere in matters that don't concern them, expect me to leave everything and chauffeur them every now and then.
To make things worse, my husbands parents live close by too. They are very friendly and like to interact with my parents, but dont impose or pop by unannounced.
What really bothers me is that my in laws have also gone out of their way to help my parents - take them to the hospital when they were unwell, send meals when my mum's arm was broken, and so on. But, my parents make a huge hue and cry if my in laws dont 'formally' invite them for a birthday celebration. I tried to explain this to my mom - we were all seated together at the same table, when we decided where to go out to lunch for my MILs birthday. They were a part of the conversation. Yet the next day, she told me that they werent invited. I reminded her that it was discussed mutually, but she said the same annoying sentence over and over again, that they didnt call and formally invite them. Goodness !!!
Sorry for ranting, but I can't take it any more. I am an Indian, and a Christian, and it's very difficult for us to just up and leave, or to be rude to our parents. I just don't know how to deal with them.
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