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What to do with out-of-control 19 year old girl?
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[quote:Anonymous Coward 31907650:MV8yMTQ2MDQ3XzM2MjUyMzg0XzYwQzNERTRC] [quote:Anonymous Coward 34771596:MV8yMTQ2MDQ3XzM2MjUyMzEwX0I2NkNBMTFC] [quote:GreadyGeniu$:MV8yMTQ2MDQ3XzM2MjUyMjcxXzk2RjM1QzND] [quote:Anonymous Coward 30397426:MV8yMTQ2MDQ3XzM2MjUyMTkxX0EzNkNGRUI=] [quote:Anonymous Coward 30397426:MV8yMTQ2MDQ3XzM2MjUyMTMyXzY5RDA3NkRC] This is going to sound random.. But the best way to deal with it, is to not deal with it. I grew up in a household where my parents knew everything we did. When I went to college, I drank, did every drug, smoked,partied like a rock star with rock stars... and the more people wanted or tried to make me stop, the harder I pushed. Now, a decade later, I'm still a rock star but I'm more like Bono than Jagger, minus the hippy crap. I never regret one thing I did, had done to me, or put inside me. They are memories made, but I not reckless. Poking the bear can have devastating effects. [/quote] She also has issues. Her issues could be very profound, so tred lightly. I had issues, that I never shared with anyone. That I delt with personally for many years. I am a very strong person. This is a tricky one, and I hate to tell you... your damned if you do... your damned if you dont.. there is no way to win this one. You need to treat her like a deer in the forest. Let her come to you, and never spook the deer. If you do, you may never see her again. [/quote] Thank you and everyone else for the advice. Everyone seems to be suggesting that we just need to wait for her to figure it out on her own. This is correct and the same advice I would give if I was asked, but it is sooooo hard to accept this when you love the person and know they have so much potential. Is there anything else to force her into treatment so we dont have to risk her safety/health/life. [/quote] No Alcoholics and Depressives dont cure themselves, im now certain like its obvious with so many she isnt ready for college yet. Its the same with so many people, theyre still too immature. Alot of people dont grow up until theyre older still than even 20, I was a bright idiot in school and shouldnt have started until 3 years later, again this is obvious in many people. [/quote] Now wait a minute. Is this about she's in very major peril or is this about disappointment that little ms. perfect wasn't so perfect after all? Because a lot of people drink a LOT at that age. Hell, I was in a booze haze from age 16 to 28 and I am now very successful and all that good stuff. If you really feel her life is at risk, then parents should go to court and get her declared incompetent and take over. If she's just partying and not fulfilling the dreams her parents had for her, they should back off. [/quote]
Original Message
So I need some help guys.. Need some advice from either parents or people who have gone through this.
The girl is 19 years old, lives at home with her parents, freshman at community college. She has been secretly drinking on an ongoing basis for the last few months. She has a serious alcohol problem, when she drinks she cant stop and becomes in a "zombie" like state, a total mess, you can see it in her eyes more than I have ever seen alcohol affect ANYONE! She has been this way since last summer, when she went off to a university and binge drank for about 2 months straight before the semester started. She didnt go to any classes and her parents had to pull her out since they were paying for the schooling.
Why does alcohol affect her like this? Is it because she established alcoholism over the summer with the binge drinking? Will she always act like this when she drinks?
Anyway, she started attending online college and her parents thought she was making progress. Instead she started isolating herself and secretly drinking in her room all night and sleeping through the days. She was passing her classes so her parents thought she was doing good but really she was just going through a deep depression and escaping by drinking.
Her parents finally caught onto her behavior and confronted her. She locked herself in her room and packed her bags and ran away with no plans. She has been binge drinking since she left and running around barefoot and completely out of her mind. Hanging with a horrible crowd doing who knows what.
She is totally out of control, but is a smart girl with a bright future. I care deeply about this girl and we need to get her into rehab but she will not want to. What can be done?
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