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REPLY TO THREAD
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Subject
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My experiences with MK Ultra and how it's damaged my life
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Original Message
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This is the only place that I felt I could post this, anonymously, where people would actually understand what I'm talking about because the rest of the world sure as hell hasn't understood it.
Let me tell you my story about the torture that MK Ultra and the mind control programming has put me through.
When I was 4 months old, my birth dad hit my head on a cabinet causing me a frontal lobe injury that has hindered me for a long time emotionally and mentally. It has caused me to break relationships with people and become mentally unstable with my anger and mental anguish because things are extremely chaotic in my head.
At least, that's what the doctors tried to tell me..
Lately I've been noticing some things that I find really strange. When I was 14 (now I'm 23), I started noticing hearing a voice in my head. It wasn't my voice. It didn't even sound like me. And I ruled it out as an "audio hallucination" because I heard it in my head, not outside of my head like big pharma defines as a hallucination.
I thought nothing of it, befriended the voice, and moved on. Thought if I got along with it and cooporated with it, it wouldn't cause problems. Boy was I wrong.
As years went by, it started getting worse. Telling me I'm a piece of shit. Telling me that all of the spiritual feelings and vibrations I was getting in tune with were wrong. That I was crazy. That I needed to start following the program or I was going to end up in a psyche ward and live there for the rest of my life because what I was thinking was crazy and it wasn't based in reality. Whatever it defined as "reality."
Then the voice got worse. It started taking over me and making me do things that I wouldn't normally do, or that I would absolutely refuse to do in the right state of mind. Stealing, lying, hurting the other people around me. There were three specific incidents that I remember where I smacked around my closest friends, and degraded them horribly. But the funny thing was, when it happened I felt like an outside observer in my head. That I was possessed, and that I could do nothing to stop it. I've ended up in the court system because of it with a conviction of DV assault 4 on my record. My whole life that I built for myself got screwed up because of it.
Now I just don't know what to do. I've taken control of it for the time being, and I'm taking this time to post my story because the voice won't let me do it. I'm expressing this here so I can at least get my voice out into the world so others truly understand the mental anguish and torture us, the victims of MK Ultra, truly go through. You define us as controllers, and as people who are trying to keep people in the system and as asleep sheeple. You define us as people who are specifically out in the world to make the rest of the world who has woken up brought down in the worst ways possible, and that we do it willingly. That might be true for some people, but for people like me, there is something else that is forcing us to do it.
I need your help GLP, I don't know what to do. Like I said, I've gotten a reign on it for now, but I don't know how long that will last. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to hold it before I have another violent outburst and worst of all, I'm afraid that I'm going to end up hurting the love of my life in the process. I couldn't give a fuck less about the law, it's her safety I'm truly worried about.
So what are my options? What am I supposed to do here? I've woken up partially for the time being, but how am I supposed to wake up fully and permanently? Now that I'm woken up I'm seeing what Zakk has pointed out. The face touching, the hypnosis and psychological techniques that the forced controllers use to try and put you back to sleep. I don't want to be that way anymore. I want to wake up, but I don't know how.
I truly hope someone out here can help me.
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