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response to the worst opiate withdrawl
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Original Message
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I like many other opiate addicts have experienced first hand and more then once I might add(do to our sick natured minds) the god aweful horrendous effects of withdrawl from opiates... now, I can only speak for MYSELF and share my personal experiences and battles with this demon. I have been an opiate addict for 6.5 years now and started out with the infamous oxy 80's and a little bit of heroin how I would describe the withdrawing experience for myself from these is misuarable it slowly progressed over the first 5 days my first time i detoxed (runny nose, watering eyes, constent yawning when your not even tired, very hypersensitive to smell and sound especially) around day 5 or six without any oxy I would say it peaked with all of the previous listed symptoms as well as SEVERE diariha and restless leg and arm syndrom after day 7 or 8 i slowly started to improve and by day 14 I would say functional. still absolutly misuarable and craving for oxy like i cant describe but able to walk around and get out a litte bit have something small to eat....several weeks went by before I relapsed back to oxy and this time for help decided to see a buprinorphine aka suboxone/subutex dr whom started me at 8 mg a day and gradually pushed my dose to 24 mg a day over the course of 3 months I stayed on this dose for about 2 years before I got complacent and un-focussed with my recovery , at this time I started to binge on xanex i wasnt taking it every day but once a week usually on the weekends I would zombify myself with that stuff maybe 7-8 zanny bars on a saterday... Anyway my family took notice and decided to form a group effort to get me to rehab which surprisingly I agreed too( things had gotten so incredibly fucked up in my life and just every good relationship i had was destroyed... i actually sat down one day and thought to myself right before i went to rehab " i have absolutly no real friends , I've robbed cheated and stole my way through the past 3 months and im a huuuuge piece of shit" so the next day I go to rehab and its a serious rehab no one week type deal im talking months long rehab inpatient... they wein me off my suboxone in 4 days 24 mg down to zero in 4 days, which looking back on it was a huge mistake. Now the withdrawl I experienced from suboxone was much much muuch differnt then the ones I experienced from oxy and heroin and for me they didnt even start at all untill day 3 without any suboxone at all. I was not prepared at all for the prolonged, absolute misary I was about to experience I honestly cannot even put it into words nor would anyone who hasen't experienced withdrawl from prolonged suboxone use begain to even come close to understanding what its like by someone explaining it to them like myself, you just cant and would not be able to grasp what the experience for ME was like coming off of that stuff but ill try to inform you the best I can ... Absolute hell on planet earth to a point where I thought I was going to go absolutly insane... it starts out not bad at all for the first 2-3 days but this is because the half life of suboxone is relitivly long and I had alot of it in my system therefore it took about three days for the withdrawls to start to set in. Day 4-5 I felt alot of the similar effects as I did with oxy where I yawn every 30 seconds but I am not tired at all and at this point my eyes are watering perfusley my nose is running i cant really sit still but I dont feel like moving(if that makes any sense) and my anxiety level is at about a 5 out of 10 at this point I think im in the thick of it and ill be feeling better in 4-6 more days so my anxiety isnt to to bad.. I could not be more wrong. Day 6-9 i am still experiencing all of the same symptoms as previosuly listed except more intensly.. alot more intensly.. My eyes did not stop watering period for about 2 days, i didnt realize how much liquid could come out of your tear ducts. extremely hypersensitive to smell,sound and something I haden't experienced before with the oxy withdrawls as compared to suboxone I experienced a hypersensitivity to taste... everything i tried to eat or drink even water tasted absolutly rancid to the point where I literrally vommitted if I put anything in my mouth, this went on for about 5 days untill my body got used to the sensitivity to taste, I can also vividly remember how intensly restless I was at this point.. I could not stop moving at all because if I did my limbs really hurt and the only cure for that was to keep pacing or rocking or doing some movement of some sort, I also spent alot of time in the bath tub because for me that actually helpped I wish I could have just stayed in that tub for a month... I dont think i could have made it without that bath tub...day 10-14 was just more of the same absolute hell on planet earth for some reason i was not feeling any better and instead still progressivly feeling worse each day my anxiety level at this point was approching max... around this time maybe a little before i started not to be able to sleep at all so here i am experiencing these god aweful suboxone withdrawls and all you want to do is lay down and sleep and you cant because you cant stop moving ( legs and arm spasems, tossing and turning) its almost worth it to not even try to sleep looking back on it because there is nothing you can do or take to help you sleep in rehab( unless you can convince them to responsibly give you some sort of benzo in extreme moderation, other then that nothing helps at all... So you start to really worry and panic... i didnt sleep at all from around day 10-14 I was having auditory and visual hallucinations before finally i fell asleep and i couldnt tell you what day it was but i was very very grateful to have fallen asleep...this story is dragging on but basically my physical withdrawl symptoms from suboxone lasted around 27 days( the yawning,watering eyes, running nose,severe diariha,restless limb syndrom, ,hot and cold flashes,intense anxiety and panic you name it and suboxone withdrawl will deliver it... just all around absolute agonizing misery) and at that point(day 27 or so) is when i think I gradually started to feel better and it became more mental. By day 35 the physical withdrawls had pretty much subsided and I was able to comprehensivly reflect on what i had just endured. I can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt that my experience from suboxone withdrawl was the single most horrific,mind altering and at the same time enlightening experience of my entire life... I look back on that experience after being clean now and am glad i went through it but at the same time will never in a million years put myself through it again..if I could make one recomendation for anyone attempting to come off of that god aweful drug it would be to completely surrender yourself to the care of clean and sober professionals But you want to find clean sober professionals who themselves have experienced the horror of suboxone withdrawl because no one who hasent experienced it can possibly even begain to grasp what its like you HAVE to reasponsibly be given either ativan, lorasapam or alprasolam during days 10-20 or you will literally go insane and lose touch with reality.. its that bad. and if you want to do it yourself which i think might be close to impossible you want to wein yourself off of it very very very slowly over the corse of about 4 months untill you get down to 1 mg a day... then you can start trying to take 1 mg every other day and eventually a half a mg every other day untill your taking a half a milligram every 3-4 days. just stick with it and remember that you can do anything that you truely put your mind to and once you have experienced enough pain and suffering from drug abuse and adiction you willtruly put your mind to it, if you are still alive. good luck :)
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