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Subject Under Every Green Tree

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[quote:Anonymous Coward 53903568:MV8zNTA1OTU5XzYyNTk3OTY5XzFDN0VDRjk3]
[quote:HONEYBEE350z:MV8zNTA1OTU5XzYyNTk0OTUyX0IyMzRFQTMy]
[quote:Crystal Fire:MV8zNTA1OTU5XzYyNTkzMTM5X0UwNzhGRDNE]
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I have really fallen in love with this community.

Mostly because of the freedom that I have found in being able to ask questions and seek answers that may or may not conform to a script I was trained to not just, not read, but to follow as it was interpreted back to me by someone else.

Almost a year ago.  I met my maker. When I did, he had a long talk with me about what i have held him accountable for.  The bitterness I had in my heart and the overall lack of consideration I had for any plan he may have had for me.

My world changed.  The signs in my world changed.  It became a much different place and it was alive with the knowing He's always been there and he could be ANYTHING without limitations.

He told me.. He was making me into a human.  And being a human was more than just about walking upright.  It was about righteousness and accepting truth.  Even when the truth wasn't what we wanted to hear.  He told me I had to accept that... I had to be crushed in all of my elements in order to grow as a person and to identify the elements in others.  I would know hurt. I would know pain.. I would know failure and disappointment because without it,  I couldn't know him and I couldn't know happiness and success even when it sat in my face.  I would know fear because in knowing fear I could identify the signs of danger.

these past 9 years have been the most exciting and humbling years of my life.  Once upon I was told i wouldn't be a mother.  Despite that voice I had in my soul that I identified as my creator telling me.. peace be with you in my plan.  9 years ago I met my husband. and I delivered our first son on my 30th birthday.   He was EVERYTHING that I heard from that promise that I didn't believe.  Because I had no faith.  I'm now the mother of 4 young children. And my family has become something worth fighting for.  Nothing more precious and green to me.  It has given me cause and great purpose.

My marriage has gone so fast.  we had just become engaged when we learned of our first child and 4 children later.  My husband went to college, we struggled but made it.  And we finally opened our own business last year.  We have both struggled with adapting to our new roles.  And with everything that has spiritually happened in our lives. With all of the questions being thrown our way about discerning and understanding, we both found our way here.  It's been an awesome experience bouncing ideas back and forth with the anonymity of not being judged.

A few months ago I got the Ick. Something came upon me that something wasn't right and after that talk I had with my maker I knew it was to tell me it was time to check my closets so to speak.  I started seeing things in the shadows.  Things out of place.  I went to work hard core.  Ignoring Reality.

I got a lot of answers back and some of the truth hurt.  And a few nights ago.. I bought a bottle after my husband and I had it out when he was home.  I felt betrayed and cheated and I took out my horns and I'm sorry for the ass of myself that I made.  I went for the jugular on my porch bathing myself in the moonlight and wine and unleashed like a beast.

I finally had enough and went into my home and went to summon the sunset by shutting down all the lights.

And I found a stranger in my home. Sitting at our family table.. smoking a cigarette.. and browsing his Facebook account.  while my children were asleep and I was unleashing my heart because my THIRD EYE told me something was wrong.

He told me he had heard my husband and I fighting a few nights before.  He's been watching me for a while.  Said he knew I was breaking down and figured he could give me what I needed when I was done having it out.

I kicked him out and used my laptop to file charges.  He had also stolen over 600.00 worth of property in the kitchen.. Chargers a note and some other things.

All day yesterday all i could do is just sit there paralyzed with what had just happened.  Running things through my head.  The times I saw a figure.. a shadow.  my kids swearing they couldn't sleep in their room because their was someone on the porch outside their window. EVERYTHING i dismissed, blinded by my jealousy. Ready to cut down the trespassers I'd found.

I found myself under attack.  I knew something wasn't right. I knew something was wrong.  He was KNOCKING on my door to wake me up and I thought I had all my eyes wide open and had with my armor found the source and I was headed for the jugular.

Anyways.  Under every green tree.  I'm sorry, I went nuclear.  My Creator is working on me and I am trying.  I'm sorry to anyone I stung. And I'm sorry to my husband.. For being Shiva again.
[/quote]

You were forgiven right away. I still consider you a sister. Forgive me if I did anything you perceived as wrong?
[/quote]

I really love your writing.  You have a unique style that reminds me of what I love about Louisa May Alcott. An identifiable tone. Not in context of course.  She's Spring and you're Solar. (not the most accurate comparison but i'm sure you understand)

I have a hard time identifying when your role playing and when your not.  Where the Imagination ends if you will.

I wish we could start over.  let me introduce myself.  But coming into meeting you, you had an advantage.  My Faster Self.  As such I had very little information from your communications to discern if what you were saying was simply coincidental or if you had personal understanding of components and were exploiting them before me.

I felt attacked that you were communicating with that part of me. And betrayed that part of me may have given you information that i personally guard because they are a wayward wind in their nature. I can't change that that was our introduction.  I wish it wasn't. But it was because you both had a choice to know that there are formalities and boundaries in introductions, and the vagueness of your discussions were suspicious to the remarks you were making which... may have been in coincidence. I had to discern a few things and it was entirely disappointing to know i had to go lure Leviathan on a hook to get it to tell me the truth and it spit you out before me.  Rendering any affinity I had as dis-genuine but manufactured from an a mutual source because once tested leviathan showed you holding a phone in your hand talking to my faster self.

anyways.  I love you. I think your a beautiful light.  I don't agree necessarily with some of the things you babble on about.  I would LOVE to see that is mutual for how you may feel.  Because I assure you, even if i dont agree with you I am deepening my understanding on components I may not have considered. While it may not be true right now.  It doesn't mean it wont fit that peg at a different stage in my journey.  And that lesson will always have your name on it when I reach it. That is how we learn from each other.
[/quote]

Beautiful writing honey bee. I speak in parables a lot or sometimes I just watch. I do have a purpose on my plane. I am.not a role player but I do have humor and endless imagination. I believe you do as well. I'm sure as time goes forth we will understand one another more. We are from the same..you are my sister.
[/quote]

Original Message I have really fallen in love with this community.

Mostly because of the freedom that I have found in being able to ask questions and seek answers that may or may not conform to a script I was trained to not just, not read, but to follow as it was interpreted back to me by someone else.

Almost a year ago. I met my maker. When I did, he had a long talk with me about what i have held him accountable for. The bitterness I had in my heart and the overall lack of consideration I had for any plan he may have had for me.

My world changed. The signs in my world changed. It became a much different place and it was alive with the knowing He's always been there and he could be ANYTHING without limitations.

He told me.. He was making me into a human. And being a human was more than just about walking upright. It was about righteousness and accepting truth. Even when the truth wasn't what we wanted to hear. He told me I had to accept that... I had to be crushed in all of my elements in order to grow as a person and to identify the elements in others. I would know hurt. I would know pain.. I would know failure and disappointment because without it, I couldn't know him and I couldn't know happiness and success even when it sat in my face. I would know fear because in knowing fear I could identify the signs of danger.

these past 9 years have been the most exciting and humbling years of my life. Once upon I was told i wouldn't be a mother. Despite that voice I had in my soul that I identified as my creator telling me.. peace be with you in my plan. 9 years ago I met my husband. and I delivered our first son on my 30th birthday. He was EVERYTHING that I heard from that promise that I didn't believe. Because I had no faith. I'm now the mother of 4 young children. And my family has become something worth fighting for. Nothing more precious and green to me. It has given me cause and great purpose.

My marriage has gone so fast. we had just become engaged when we learned of our first child and 4 children later. My husband went to college, we struggled but made it. And we finally opened our own business last year. We have both struggled with adapting to our new roles. And with everything that has spiritually happened in our lives. With all of the questions being thrown our way about discerning and understanding, we both found our way here. It's been an awesome experience bouncing ideas back and forth with the anonymity of not being judged.

A few months ago I got the Ick. Something came upon me that something wasn't right and after that talk I had with my maker I knew it was to tell me it was time to check my closets so to speak. I started seeing things in the shadows. Things out of place. I went to work hard core. Ignoring Reality.

I got a lot of answers back and some of the truth hurt. And a few nights ago.. I bought a bottle after my husband and I had it out when he was home. I felt betrayed and cheated and I took out my horns and I'm sorry for the ass of myself that I made. I went for the jugular on my porch bathing myself in the moonlight and wine and unleashed like a beast.

I finally had enough and went into my home and went to summon the sunset by shutting down all the lights.

And I found a stranger in my home. Sitting at our family table.. smoking a cigarette.. and browsing his Facebook account. while my children were asleep and I was unleashing my heart because my THIRD EYE told me something was wrong.

He told me he had heard my husband and I fighting a few nights before. He's been watching me for a while. Said he knew I was breaking down and figured he could give me what I needed when I was done having it out.

I kicked him out and used my laptop to file charges. He had also stolen over 600.00 worth of property in the kitchen.. Chargers a note and some other things.

All day yesterday all i could do is just sit there paralyzed with what had just happened. Running things through my head. The times I saw a figure.. a shadow. my kids swearing they couldn't sleep in their room because their was someone on the porch outside their window. EVERYTHING i dismissed, blinded by my jealousy. Ready to cut down the trespassers I'd found.

I found myself under attack. I knew something wasn't right. I knew something was wrong. He was KNOCKING on my door to wake me up and I thought I had all my eyes wide open and had with my armor found the source and I was headed for the jugular.

Anyways. Under every green tree. I'm sorry, I went nuclear. My Creator is working on me and I am trying. I'm sorry to anyone I stung. And I'm sorry to my husband.. For being Shiva again.

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