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I want to join the Illuminati
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[quote:Anonymous Coward 313293:MV80NTA2MTdfNjk0NjU3OV9EMEUyNEY0Ng==] [quote:Babe in a Bunker] I hear the swag from the yearly meeting is bitchin. If you get in, how about regifting to me what you don't want? They have icecream socials every other month, and a biannual Illuminati picnic. Just look for the flyers, which are cleverly hidden in your local newspaper (hint, think OLD JEWS), figure out where it's happening, go there, be friendly and I'm sure one of our helpful Illuminati elders will be more than happy to guide you through the initiation process. Good luck. Oh, and the yearly meeting swag kicks ass. [/quote] The last time I went to a party like the one you described my butt hurt for a week. [/quote]
Original Message
How do I join? I want to be rich and wear creepy robes and do weird ceremonies and rituals with old white men in places sheeple can't go to. Any way to do this? I don't have to let the guys screw me do I? I don't want to do any of the weird sex stuff, I just want to do creepy chants and get lots of money and jewelery with odd occult symbols so I can go outside and flaunt it and laugh inside knowing no one will know that my secret serpent ring is actually a secret bond with my reptilian brethren. I think I'd fit in with reptiles more than humans, my tongue flicks out a lot, I have snakes for pets, and I collect artwork of dragons cuz I think they're cool.
So what are my chances of getting in?
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