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Subject *I AM A REAL VAMPIRE* I WILL ANSWER ALL YOUR QUESTONS*

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[quote:missjomama 469402:MV81NTQ1NThfODc2MTAyNV9GRTczOTc5NA==]
So after your ever-so-long stint on earth, you claim you have mastered spelling and grammar “but <you> have not yet mastered the key board”.   You say you were “changed” in 1721.  The qwerty placement of a keyboard (i.e. regular old typewriter) was invented in 1875… a mere 154 years after you were transformed (into a 283 + / - year old blood-sucking, 12-step-human-feeder’s anonymous attending, *made other arrangements* to eat freakazoid) .  So you’re trying to say that after 133 years, you still can’t seem to find HOMEROW?!!  BloodBank of the Redwoods can kiss my butt the next time they try to get me to donate my 0- blood for some random shortage.  I’ll be DAMNED (HAHA!! Get it? Damned? *wink*) if they think I’m a soup-kitchen for the lost boys! Honestly… I’m not going to slam you for being an idiot.  I’m stuck at my government job in a place that’s hotter than hell with only 11 minutes left in my day but I’d rather stay here and surf the internet and use THEIR a/c than go out to my car where it’s 150 degrees where I can fight traffic for the next 2 hours.  Instead, I’m going to thank you because you made me laugh harder than I have in a long time so Kudo’s!! :5a:
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Original Message Yes i am infact a real Vampire and i am tired of hiding in the shadows i feal the need to step into the light and what better place to spread the truth than GLP so ask me any questions that you wish

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