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Dealing With People Who Make You Feel Like A Failure
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[quote:QueueCumber:MV84MTYzNThfMTI2MTg3NjRfQ0JDQzVGMDU=] [quote:AlreadyBuggedOut] If someone calls you a loser, whether you believe it or not, it will hurt. BELIEF in yourself has nothing to do with it. It's closer to a betrayal of trust you put in another... Jeez QC, we are so far apart... What you call "betrayal of trust you put in another" is the pride I was referring to earlier. That is something inside you. That is the part you need to work with and look deeper into. There is something to accept and let go of in that feeling. I don't think we are far apart; we just have different perspectives. \ lol! My pride? Your psycho babble is getting annoying. I am referring to one possible scenario that shows your solutions to be presumptious at best and totally wrong at worst. Can you deal with real life complicated scenarios?[/quote] What I previously said works in the situation you listed... [quote:AlreadyBuggedOut]You assume that person "A" is making person "B" feel inadequate. I get it. But you dont get what I am saying, but instead try to psych analyse me about my pride? lol If anyone has to much pride caught up in their beliefs , it is surely YOU.[/quote] That wasn't my point. No one can make anyone else feel anything. We are all responsible for our own feelings... You are still making ad hominem attacks? Why? (Those were rhetorical questions...) Ironically enough, you are choosing to take this personally. You don't have to you know? ;) [quote:AlreadyBuggedOut]I am saying that person "A" may be provoking something else, and gave an example. If you cant contemplate other scenarios, but stick to your one fix fits all, even given a lack of information, then perhaps your experiences are too limited, or at least too limited to contain the over bearing confidence in yourself... [/quote] Person A (the person calling someone a failure/loser) is trying to provoke something within Person B, who takes the mental attack personally. Person B had to choose to internalize what Person A said and believe what Person A said is true in order to hold onto it and let it hurt him/her. Your last post, quoted above, was not very lucid. You need to be more explicit in future posts if you want me to extrapolate the exact meaning from your posts... [/quote]
Original Message
Some people make you feel like a failure. Warning: don't be "in love" with one,
but love them all the same because we all need love
, and some people just have their coping mechanisms that we need to understand, and show then loving kindness. Watch Dr. Orloff's video linked here, as it may give you relief from blaming yourself for failures with a narcissist.
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