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Dealing With People Who Make You Feel Like A Failure
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[quote:AlreadyBuggedOut:MV84MTYzNThfMTI2MjQxOTBfNDJDMjNFMDk=] [quote:Lotus Feet] Common sense dictates that if someone is unsympathetic and cruel to friends or lovers it is they that have psyche problems. --- No it means it is showing them that they have something inside to heal and remove from their memory banks that is being triggered. I recommend a book to them called 'The Homecoming' by John Bradshaw about healing the inner child. There is no redemption without redemption of the divine child. [/quote] A naricissist is painful because they do not have the common decency to be compassionate. One usually ends up defending themselves instead of receiving useful advice. A narcissist never gets it quite right, they are offensive because they think they are right over your own objections. They pretend they know humanity and by extension every single individual in it. That is what is triggered. Nothing more needs to be worked on, because when confronted with a narcissist a normal person's hurt raises a suspicion that the antoganist couldnt be correct. It isnt a subject about the victim, it is and always will be about the narcissist. I am quite aware why you chime in as you do. Because the OP says "People Who Make You Feel Like A Failure". But when reading that he/she is dealing with a narcissist, it is clear to me that the person doesnt actually "feel" like a failure, but they are being told they are a failure by someone they put their trust in. That is quite a different matter, and therefore needs a different diagnosis. I also know you and people like you dont recognize different approaches but perceive the human condition as needing one solution and no other... For that at least you resemble the narcissist. An outwardly charming person, but who never listens to the particulars and insists on a one size fits all solution for everyone... [/quote]
Original Message
Some people make you feel like a failure. Warning: don't be "in love" with one,
but love them all the same because we all need love
, and some people just have their coping mechanisms that we need to understand, and show then loving kindness. Watch Dr. Orloff's video linked here, as it may give you relief from blaming yourself for failures with a narcissist.
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