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Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)

 
She Wolf
04/20/2005 01:38 AM
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Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
What should you do if your husband emotionally divorces you?

I have recently been told by my husband that all though he considers me his best freind, he is not sure if he loves me. He says that he is not sure if he knows himself and so he cannot emotionally commit to me.

Heīs been taking Prozac for a while now to combat severe manic depression. Things seem to be getting worse and worse between us.

I removed my ring and told him that I would not put it back on until he was sure about us again. It hurt but somehow made me feel a little more secure in that I was not losing control because of all of this.

He has been going out to the bar on the weekends after work, and told me that this is what he wants to do, and that I will have to eccept it. I do understand the whole guys need to be with other guys thing, but am I being an enabler or too leniant with our relationship.

He no longer initiates sex and if I want it, I have to ask for it.

We are currently in the process of selling our home, and we have agreed that once the home is sold and some of the financial stress is relieved that he would then see if he still wanted to be married.

I really donīt know what to do. Should I just wait this thing out and see what happens? Should I hope that this thing will eventually resolve itself?

Thanks for any and all comments and advice.
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
Pray for him!!!!!!!
She Wolf
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
AC: Believe me, I do all the time. I am trying very hard to wait on Godīs answer, but it is soooo hard sometimes.
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
Makes you wonder if the Prozac is numbing him out. Are there children involved? How do you feel about him?

Seek a counselor, and if possible one who is a Christian. Sometimes it takes a third person to be able to actually īseeī what the problem is. It could be an easy fix, you never know.
She Wolf
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
Yes, unfortunately he has tried many different types of suppressent type prescriptions, but it is only Prozac that controles his rapid mood swings and deep depression. We have tried a Christian counciler, but it did not do us any good.

Our vows said in sickness and in health and I do intend to uphold them as I feel this also includes mental illness. I do appreciate you advice, I just donīt know what I am supposed to do as a Christian wife. He constantly struggles with his faith, and I feel that sometimes my faith really bothers him.

We have always said that if we ever divorced, we would always remain the best of freinds, but I need more then that! I need a husband! I need to know that I am loved and that my needs count as well.

Is this wrong? So frustrated!
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
Itīs difficult especially since he is on medication. Besides, if he does not want to try to put the marriage back on track, you might have to issue rules of your own (but still pray for him) as it seems that he is the one making all the rules regarding to your marriage.
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
What you want from him heīs unable to give to you right now. So it depends on how long you think you can hang in there with him in this state of mind/being.

Have you been dealing with this situation for a while now?
ShadowDancer
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
Prozac can cause a flattening of the mood-that is why it can be used for bi polar/manic depressive. He needs to work his mind to disciplining it. A spiritual counselor is advised and use caution as with all antidepressants(which is what it is) there are warnings-higher rate of suicide and even homicide. You can im me if you want some other insights-it is so frustrating and the flatness compared to the roller coaster is hard to adapt to.

Take care flower
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
You know that this world is controlled by Satan, Still you trust in the same corporations that kill innocent people. GET RID OF THE POIZON!!
Talk with your Husband about God, what weīr doing here, who we are. Depression is absolutely normal, is a sympton, means that you know that something is wrong with you, and the world. Your husband needs help from God, not from Prozac. Ask Jesus for wisdom.
She Wolf
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
This has been going on for quite some time. Our marriage has been through just about everything a marriage can go through. We have gone from physical abuse to emotional/mental abuse, infidelity on both our parts, abortion, suicide attempts, step children and all that that entails you name it we have survived it!

His mother is bi-polar and takes Lythiem for it. His brother commited suicide when he was only 17. He opened up about this to our counciler, but felt that talking did him no good. He is a very private person and only agreed to go when things got really bad between us.

At this point I feel like I have tried everything and it is almost as though if I let him do what he wants and just try to be there for him, this will all work out somehow. I just donīt know how much more I can take.

I went on Prozac myself for a while just so I could deal with all of his problems and still function as a wife and mother. Iīve been home from work the last 6mo. and it has made it much easier to deal with all of this. God definitely has my back so to speak.
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
Prozac for manic depression?? Prozac is not a treatment for manic depression or for anyone that has a family history of manic depression.

Simply put, you canīt change your husband, he has to change himself.

Beware that he might very well be buying time until the house is sold. Protect yourself and make a back-up plan just in case he has another life. You donīt want to be left with nothing.

Staying out late, not wanting sex. OH, come on woman!

Jesus did not teach us to be someoneīs fool.

You want to keep your husband? Act like you donīt need him. A husband and wife take care of each other.

Keep steady and emotionally even. Seems to be at this point your husband should be concerned about losing you!

and, donīt stop praying
She Wolf
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
AC, that is some good advice. I know this sounds very bad from the outside looking in, but he really is a good person with many issues. I will go where God leads and I never stop praying. Thanks for caring and for good advice:)
Daniel
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
Take a 12 volt Ac adapter and cut the end off and bare the wires.
Plug it into the outlet.
Touch the separate ends to different parts of your skull.

That scrambles the synapsis in your brain.

Prozac scrambles the synapsis in your brain.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Go to coldcure.com ==== then Magnesium/Depression

Magnesium treatment REALLY WORKS

and is Much safer.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Did GOD guide me to Post this for your Reading????

My wife was "hooked" on Zoloft - the magnesium therapy helped get her off Zoloft and she is now SSRI Free.

SSRIīs Cause Suicidal thoughts and Suicides!!!

Daniel
She Wolf
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
hmmm what is SSRIīs??
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
"He whom love touches not, walks in darkness."
-- Plato
She Wolf
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
Iīm not much on philosophy, could you expound on that one? Are you saying that I donīt love my husband?? If so, nothing could be further from the truth I can assure you! I just donīt know how much more of this one sided marriage I can take is all.
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
Magnesium! Great tip for this person. Magnesium is found in chocolate and refried beans as well as almonds. Magnesium gives the brain the feeling of well being. There are other foods that have magnesium, I just canīt think of what they are right now.
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
off the ssriīs, brain mush and dark thougths.

xanax, valium, tranxene are much better.

tough call, good luck.
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
Get a baby Jesus butt-plug

that should liven him up some

if not...

try dipping it in habenero sauce
JC
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
It sounds like he isn`t considering your feelings at all,you should dump him,he sounds very selfish,you are putting your life on hold while the whinny baby decides whether he wants to be with u or not.jmo
ShadowDancer
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
brocoli, brown rice,spinach, avocados, bananas, oatmeal,tofu, cantaloupes,grapefruit, lemons, apricots, baked potatoes, salmon, wheat, sesame seeds, apples, navy and lima beans, nuts, and green leafy vegetables: for magnesium 500-750mg a day

Best if taken with calcium, phosphorus, potassium, B-6(pyridoxine), C and D.

Deficiency symptoms: irratability, sleep disturbances, rapid heartbeat/tachycardia, muscle spasms, confusion, and GI upset.


flower

Has he ever taken Lithium or Depakote?
angel8765
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
She Wolf, stay in your own energy!

Prozac has a lot of side effects. Seems your husband is finding his way and does not have much space for you right now.

You can not change that, he has to do that.
Stay in your own faith, and yes I believe that it is bothering him, but that is his problem.

It must be painful a lot right now, but you are not dependent on him to be happy. Donīt be a victim here, you have enough light inside you to be happy also without your husband. And meaby one day you find somebody that is willing to be emotionally and lovingly involved with you.

Stay in your own light.
Daniel
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI)

Rapid Recovery From Depression Using Magnesium Treatment
[link to coldcure.com]

SSRI Withdrawal Syndrome
This site describes and defines the withdrawal syndrome that follows the too rapid discontinuation of Prozac, Zoloft, Luvox, Paxil, Celexa or Effexor.
www.psycom.net/depression.central.withdrawal.html

Prozac was the First - all others are sons and daughters of Prozac.

Prozac was developed from LSD which was discovered in the 30īs. The CIA experimented with LSD - trying to make the "perfect" soldier with it.
+++++++++++++++++

Never, Ever Stop cold turkey with SSRIs - it can be lethal to oneself and others.
Reduce amount of dosage per day - to smaller and smaller amounts - but take some EVERY day.
It took my wife 2 months to taper down off of Zoloft - using Magnesium to reduce the Side effects of withdrawl - like PANIC ATTACKS.

You cannot get enough Magnesium from food to get a theraputic effect.

ELIMINATE All Calcium in diet also. Itīs in the article above.

Daniel
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
"Are you saying that I donīt love my husband??"

no

Iīm saying that it sounds as though you are not in love with each other

there is a very powerful positive energy created that can overcome anything thrown in itīs way, when two people are in TRUE LOVE with EACH OTHER
She Wolf
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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User Id 25: Are you saying that this love energy can heal mental illness?
She Wolf
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
Angel: Yes, that is all I can do right now. God is with me on this lonely journey, it would be so much easier though if I knew where it would all end.

Thanks to everyone for the magnesium tips. He does get plenty of that in his diet, unfortunately this is a chemical embalance according to his doctor and believe me, I notice it when he doesnīt take his meds!

Can anyone tell me if the vow "in sickness and in health" applies to my situation. It seems as though there are some underlying issues other then the mental illness. But I donīt know, because I have never experianced this with anyone.
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
rocket
mbk
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
Sounds to me as if your life is at risk here. Jesus does not expect you to remain in a marriage that could eventually kill you. Suicidal marriage is not a biblically-sanctioned way of life.

God will grant you release from this nightmare, if that is what you want.

Other issues: Prozac and alcohol donīt mix. Your husband has very serious psychiatric problems that are way beyond your coping abilities. He needs a new start in life and he needs to live alone for at least two years with the help of professional therapy.

I was just like him once, and my marriage was exactly as you have described.
She Wolf
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
mbk, thank you so much for your input as īone who has been thereī Can I ask what type of mental illness you had? Also, I am so afraid to just leave him, as Iīm not sure that he would survive. As I stated before, his own brother killed himself over his wife leaving him! Iīm not sure I could live with myself if this happened. What if he is as ill as his brother?

Are you a man and if so can you please tell me some of what you were feeling during your marriage? Perhaps it would help me to get a better idea of what my husband is feeling.

You can pm me if it would make it easier to talk about.

Thanksflower
mbk
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
Thatīs okay, She Wolf. Iīll tell you here.

(I just need to make a quick coffee first.)
Anonymous Coward
12/08/2005 10:07 AM
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Re: Serious question for Christians (Need some advice)
She Wolf, dear lady, separate yourself from that which brings you down. Let it work itīs own issues out. You are suffering thinking you can help someone else to not suffer and in this case, you cannot. But you can help you. Get your own place. Decorate it. Eat the food YOU like, read the books YOU like, get an aquarium and fill it with all kinds of neat cratures. Plant flowers, cook things you only dream about. Lift YOURSELF up remembering who your Source is. God cannot help you lest you make the move. He is your energy and inspiration.





GLP