Some things old people (aka, THE ELDERS) have told me that are BULLSHIT:

* Loggerhead turtles, once they bite you, won't release you until it thunders.

* Snakes will roll downhill after forming a hoop by biting their own tail.

* It won't frost after April 15.

* Drowned bodies will float suddenly in the wakr of a loud noise.

So is all that true too? I mean it must be, because 'the elders' swear it's true. And the elders are never wrong, are they?

In fact, the elders are all fucking experts on astronomy and strophysics, aren't they? Just ask any doddering greybeard the mass of Jupiter or the length of the Martian year or why the Moon is tide-locked with the Earth. Heck, they'll whip out the data in a jiffy!

So you're right, the Moon is all over the fucking sky, it's upside down, it's in the living room, it's rising twice in the North and setting every other Thursday in the South. My bad. I should have listened to Old Man Fergusen when he said 'Mah gimp en flatl gorn mop."

I think that says it all.

And I am outa here...