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Squirrels....

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 959593
United States
05/03/2010 03:32 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
...................ATONE!

goaway


I love all these critters and wouldn't want to see any of them hurt....
 Quoting: F.B.Nyte


You're alright. Its the ones that thumb their noses in the face of good grace.
UndercoverAlien

User ID: 959631
Brazil
05/03/2010 04:22 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
When we are living times where people guess funny to throw away squirrels, with a stupid homemade catapult, is sign that something very bad is upcoming...
shark

Still disrespecting nature, assholes!!!
"Do or do not. There is no try." (Yoda)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 958626
Australia
05/03/2010 04:24 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
Good grief!

This is horrid, especially listening to the cheering. It's like neanderthals at a showing of the man show or springer.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 890684
United States
05/03/2010 04:38 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
Looks like entrapment.

Karma can be a bitch. When the creator of that vicious device finds himself flying through the air after a roll over accident, or caught by a tornado just remember, I told you so.
 Quoting: awthrawthr



People that take pleasure from hurting animals are stuck in their own victim role.

Or maybe just pissed about their small penis.

I cannot imagine a woman doing this.

..
ºSPOTº

User ID: 625611
United Kingdom
05/03/2010 04:42 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
The G-force must be enormous.

I'm sure they wouldn't do that to training fighter pilots or astronauts, would they ?
I'm smarter than a rock
Nothing is true

User ID: 953473
United Kingdom
05/03/2010 05:20 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
I am in a constant battle with my shitheads..sorry, squirrels - but I would never hurt them (unless TSHTF - then they're on the menu).

I know I'll never beat them, so I'm going to have to start feeding them!

To the people who made that video - I hope your cocks drop off.
Everything is permitted..
Jasmine
User ID: 959691
United States
05/03/2010 06:31 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
Don't know if this story is true, but if laughter is the best medicine
you sure will feel better after reading this!

Angry squirrel

I don't know who wrote this, but he tells it quite visually and it's
sure worth a laugh or two...


I never dreamed slowly cruising on my motorcycle through a residential
neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Little did I suspect.

I was on Brice Street - a very nice neighborhood with perfect lawns and
slow traffic. As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out
from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me.


It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when
it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no
time to brake or avoid it -- it was that close. I hate to run over animals,
and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger
to me.


I barely had time to brace for the impact. Animal lovers, never fear.
Squirrels, I discovered, can take care of themselves!


Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing
on his hind legs and facing my oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in
his beady little eyes.


His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt!
I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Bonzai!" or maybe, "Die you

gravy-sucking, heathen scum!" The leap was nothing short of spectacular...


He shot straight up, flew over my windshield, and impacted me squarely in
the chest. Instantly, he set upon me. If I did not know better, I would have
sworn he brought 20 of his little buddies along for the attack.


Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of
activity. As I was dressed only in a light T-shirt, summer riding gloves,
and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado
was doing some damage!


Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans,
a T-shirt, and leather gloves, puttering at maybe 25 mph down a quiet
residential street, and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And
losing...

I grabbed for him with my left hand. After a few misses, I finally
managed to snag his tail. With all my strength, I flung the evil rodent off
to the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I
recoiled from the throw. That should have done it. The matter should have
ended right there.


It really should have.


The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and
gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have
been the wiser. But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an
ordinary angry squirrel.

This was an EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH!
Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands and, with
the force of the throw, swung around and with a resounding thump and an
amazing impact, he landed squarely on my BACK and resumed his rather
antisocial and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my
left glove with him! The situation was not improved.
Not improved at all.


His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was
startled, to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only
having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back
unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the
throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one
result.


Torque.


This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it.


The engine roared and the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel
screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in .. well
.. I just plain screamed.


Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in
jeans, a slightly squirrel-torn t-shirt, wearing only one leather glove, and
roaring at maybe 50 mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential
street on one wheel, with a demonic squirrel of death on his back.


The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder. With the
sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars
and try to get control of the bike.


This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I reallydid
not want to crash into somebody's tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had
not yet figured out how to release the throttle...my brain was just simply
overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had
little effect against the massive power of the big cruiser.


About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient
attention to this very serious battle (maybe he was an evil mutant NAZI
attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got INSIDE my
full-face helmet with me.


As the faceplate closed part way, he began hissing in my face. I am quite
sure my screaming changed intensity. It had little effect on the squirrel,
however. The RPMs on the Dragon maxed out (since I was not bothering with
shifting at the moment), so her front end started to drop.


Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in
jeans, a very raggedly torn T-shirt, wearing only one leather glove, roaring
at probably 80 mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel's tail
sticking out of the mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are
probably getting a little hoarse.

Finally I got the upper hand ... I managed to grab his tail again, pulled
him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This
time it worked ... sort-of.


Spectacularly sort-of ...so to speak.


Picture a new scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off
on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some
paperwork. Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed
in jeans, a torn T-shirt flapping in the breeze, and
wearing only one leather glove, moving at probably 80 mph on one wheel, and
screaming bloody murder roars by, and with all his strength throws a live
squirrel grenade directly into your police car.


I heard screams.


They weren't mine...

I managed to get the big motorcycle under control and dropped the front
wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a
cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign of a busy cross street. I would have
returned to 'fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have.


Really... Except for two things.


First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned
about me at the moment. When I looked back, the doors on both sides of the
patrol car were flung wide open. The cop from the passenger side was on his
back, doing a crab walk into somebody's front yard, quickly moving away from
the car. The cop who had been in the driver's seat was standing in the
street, aiming a riot shotgun at his own police car.
So, the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to "let the
professionals handle it" anyway.


That was one thing. The other?


Well, I could clearly see shredded and flying pieces of foam and
upholstery from the back seat. But I could also swear I saw the squirrel in
the back window, shaking his little fist at me. That is one
dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car. A somewhat shredded patrol
car but it was all his.


I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made a gentle right turn
off of Brice Street, and sedately left the neighborhood. I decided it was
best to just buy myself a new pair of gloves. And a whole lot of Band-Aids.
coolhandluke74

User ID: 905625
United States
05/03/2010 06:35 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
squirrelhu
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 950968
United States
05/03/2010 07:45 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
There are a lot of really sick people on GLP, karma will get them; just remember their names so that when they post their pathetic sob story you can ignore them & let them rot & fester in their filth.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 959729
United States
05/03/2010 07:55 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
I feed them corn all the time. We had a baby boom last Spring.
 Quoting: mopar28m




Excellent! You know they taste like chicken. :-)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 808344
United States
05/03/2010 07:57 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
my backyard is a four way battleground ...

squirrels vs crows vs blue jays vs robins
 Quoting: Mr. Predictor

Throw a bag of seed and nuts out there and there will armgedden !
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 808344
United States
05/03/2010 07:58 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
especially the ones with big balls..



 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 942748

I'm just a squirrel in tha world, tryin' ta get a nut !
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 959766
United States
05/03/2010 08:38 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
Mess with us and we'll use "squirrel tactics"...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 959769
Germany
05/03/2010 08:52 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
Animal abuse is funny?




Sick fucks.
 Quoting: Sallam


+1

I like squirrels and feed them along with the birds.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 643083
Moldova, Republic of
05/03/2010 08:59 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
Why some of you call them rats with bushy tail? That's ugly. I would wanna touch a squirrel they look beautiful and funny, but not a rat those are nasty.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 915133
United States
05/03/2010 09:05 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
Now that is just sad. I love them and feed them along with the birds.
 Quoting: kat38

I feed them ,that is so cruel, people that hurt animals or enjoy in their suffering got two or tree loose nuts, those are the ones that their parents never sat down to talk to them and explain the greatness of nature and animals ,that everything is connected. this kind of people end up shooting without asking ,hurting humans more easily and getting in trouble with society. Pity.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 915133
United States
05/03/2010 09:06 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
There are a lot of really sick people on GLP, karma will get them; just remember their names so that when they post their pathetic sob story you can ignore them & let them rot & fester in their filth.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 950968
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 915133
United States
05/03/2010 09:10 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
Anyone else having problems with squirrels.... Try this...LOL

[link to www.livevideo.com]


I love squirrells because they are a part of the relaity that we created.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 738826

hf
geminilion

User ID: 959161
United States
05/03/2010 09:47 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
Wonder if that would work for the endless stream of vacuum sales people and religious types?
..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way."
Heraclitus
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 958329
United States
05/03/2010 10:22 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
Uhh...that was fucking disgusting.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 904302
05/03/2010 10:24 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
I have never seen a squirrel, We don't have them here, our forefathers probably ate them all and the moles and the snakes and the voles but we do have pole cats and oh boy are they vicious little beggers. :-)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 904302
05/03/2010 10:27 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
And the foxes but we do have wallabies they would be eaten as well if they weren't so fast.
DAUNTLESS

User ID: 807451
United States
05/03/2010 10:35 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
[link to squirrelicious.blogspot.com]

Hilarious! Conan talking to squirrels and much more!

“Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me,” O’Brien tweeted to the world.
Independent Thought
Dauntless Mind
Unconditional Love
Tazzz
!#%&&(^#%@*!

User ID: 849986
United States
05/03/2010 10:59 AM

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Re: Squirrels....
seriously? 4 PAGES and no ones posted a Foamy ???? meh.

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 959443
United States
05/03/2010 11:02 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
SHTF food....squirrel on a stick.
yummmmm!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 915133
United States
05/03/2010 11:22 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
SHTF food....squirrel on a stick.
yummmmm!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 959443

S tpid
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 915133
United States
05/03/2010 11:24 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
nuke the tree rats
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 959585

karma can get you, always remember.....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 915133
United States
05/03/2010 11:25 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
I'm lovin all the different camera angles!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 959377

Karma , always remember.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 915133
United States
05/03/2010 11:26 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
They are my friends.
They warn me of strange humans by whistling to me.
 Quoting: Etheric Ray

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 915133
United States
05/03/2010 11:31 AM
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Re: Squirrels....
Squirrels will also strip your fruit trees faster than a dog can trot. They love peaches, apricots, plums, cherries, you name it. If you want to have a nice little orchard in squirrel country you will have to make a choice between your produce or the squirrels. I have also watched them enjoy my garden. It's amazing - a squirrel can pick an eggplant bigger than he is and run like lighting before you know what hit you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 959547

You can use nests to protect the trees in production, man, You took from them , I am talking about food ! When you made your house they where there first! when we build ,where they live ,we are taking from their space ,THE FOOD. The least thing you can do is let them have something.

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