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Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 979040
Australia
05/23/2010 08:49 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
I had 3 cats, one disappeared, so very sad but now i know where he went...away on his UFO. One of my cats is very skittish - she's obviously paranoid her cover will be blown
Hillcrest

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05/23/2010 08:52 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
cats are telepathic

they are here to teach us their telepathic ways :)
Water always wins. :sun:
Anonymous Coward
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05/23/2010 08:52 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
Holy crap! The OP was right! I found my cat's diary and here is an excerpt:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.



They really are out to get us !! rockon
Anonymous Coward
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05/23/2010 08:52 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
I had 3 cats, one disappeared, so very sad but now i know where he went...away on his UFO. One of my cats is very skittish - she's obviously paranoid her cover will be blown
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 979040

i know your my wife
Anonymous Coward
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05/23/2010 08:54 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
Holy crap! The OP was right! I found my cat's diary and here is an excerpt:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.



They really are out to get us !! rockon
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 952601

rofl
Hillcrest

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United States
05/23/2010 08:55 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
Holy crap! The OP was right! I found my cat's diary and here is an excerpt:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.



They really are out to get us !! rockon
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 952601



LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you should start a "cat blog"
Water always wins. :sun:
Sandi_T

User ID: 873093
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05/23/2010 08:57 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
Internet meme for which I do not know the origin (and from which the above is but an excerpt):


Diary of a Dog - Diary of a Cat

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

Last Edited by Sandi_T on 05/23/2010 08:57 AM
No more requests in the "Strangest things" thread please. :hf:

Past Lives requests thread: Thread: That Which Once Was: Past Lives
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 757400
Australia
05/23/2010 09:01 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
fuck no shit i saw so many cats out tonight. infact tonights been a weird one. the moon has this huge ring around it and i saw a shooting star... yeh :)
Etheric Ray

User ID: 735672
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05/23/2010 09:03 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
yeah
That shrimp was there when I got dressed this morning -- A BP Employee to TSA
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 979057
Australia
05/23/2010 09:05 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
shit, oh shit, my cat just came in looking suspicious I have to go.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 979067
Australia
05/23/2010 09:20 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
[link to www.stuffonmycat.com]
Sandi_T

User ID: 873093
United States
05/23/2010 09:21 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 979067


lol, awesome!
No more requests in the "Strangest things" thread please. :hf:

Past Lives requests thread: Thread: That Which Once Was: Past Lives
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 979067
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05/23/2010 09:23 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
Imust be missing sonething, how can I post pictures?
Sandi_T

User ID: 873093
United States
05/23/2010 09:27 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
Imust be missing sonething, how can I post pictures?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 979067

You can't, because you aren't a card-carrying member.

Neither am I, so I cannot post pics, either. I'm just a member, not a card-carrying one. :p

Last Edited by Sandi_T on 05/23/2010 09:28 AM
No more requests in the "Strangest things" thread please. :hf:

Past Lives requests thread: Thread: That Which Once Was: Past Lives
Anonymous Coward
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United States
05/23/2010 09:33 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
If only that were true!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 965357
United States
05/23/2010 09:33 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 979067



OmG...that looks just like my cat.. same milk mustache..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 979067
Australia
05/23/2010 09:45 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
Imust be missing sonething, how can I post pictures?

You can't, because you aren't a card-carrying member.

Neither am I, so I cannot post pics, either. I'm just a member, not a card-carrying one. :p
 Quoting: Sandi_T

OK, thanks
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
05/23/2010 09:50 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
[link to www.funnycatpix.com]
UndercoverAlien

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Brazil
05/23/2010 09:55 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
Cats are unusually perceptive and often perceive things we can't see. Maybe they can see into the fourth dimension ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 963544


All animals can see into the 4th dimension and some mammals in higher stages of evolution can "read" the human astral body. Dogs and cats are a good example. According to ancient gnostic wisdom, the spirit of the animals actually are "elementals". The elementals of domestic animals are being prepared to born as humans. Ain't no expert but it seems that the elementals of cats are very special and according to ancient Egyptians, they are guardians of the underworld, whatever it means. Holistic people say that cats have powers, they supposedly can transmute bad vibes in good vibes. If the homo-sapiens was engineered by extraterrestrial beings, I'm wonder if some domestic animals also are engineered versions of wild species. Cats are the only domestic felines EVER. All other felines of the nature are huge and wild.
I've read in somewhere that there's a humanoid feline and canine race in Sirius... Here in Brazil, there are some rare reports of feline humanoids seen in landed UFOs in the Ibituruna Sierra... Who knows...
"Do or do not. There is no try." (Yoda)
Anonymous Coward
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05/23/2010 09:57 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
Cats are unusually perceptive and often perceive things we can't see. Maybe they can see into the fourth dimension ?


All animals can see into the 4th dimension and some mammals in higher stages of evolution can "read" the human astral body. Dogs and cats are a good example. According to ancient gnostic wisdom, the spirit of the animals actually are "elementals". The elementals of domestic animals are being prepared to born as humans. Ain't no expert but it seems that the elementals of cats are very special and according to ancient Egyptians, they are guardians of the underworld, whatever it means. Holistic people say that cats have powers, they supposedly can transmute bad vibes in good vibes. If the homo-sapiens was engineered by extraterrestrial beings, I'm wonder if some domestic animals also are engineered versions of wild species. Cats are the only domestic felines EVER. All other felines of the nature are huge and wild.
I've read in somewhere that there's a humanoid feline and canine race in Sirius... Here in Brazil, there are some rare reports of feline humanoids seen in landed UFOs in the Ibituruna Sierra... Who knows...
 Quoting: UndercoverAlien

nice
Anonymous Coward
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05/23/2010 10:01 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
A writer in one the bulletin boards I associate with suggests that cats may be creatures from another planet. This is what the aliens would like us to believe.

Domesticated cats have been around for five thousand years or more. They were sacred animals to the Egyptians. Now if you think that cats are alien creatures, you have to ask yourselves why, in five thousand years, haven't the aliens done what they want to do with us. Why would any civilization smarter than ours hang around us for five thousand years disguised at cats? This was the basic theme of the Broadway musical production of Cats, a theme which was largely ignored by theater critics.

No, cats are not aliens, they are as earthbound as you and me. But for the last sixty years, aliens have been using them as living cameras. Most cats disappear for a time, sometimes for ten minutes, sometimes for days. You cannot find them. It is during these times that they are under direct control of the aliens. Minute cameras, smaller than a deer tick, are inserted into the optic nerve tissue and into the aural canals of these cats. They send back direct signals to those in spacecraft who are monitoring the cats. Or more to the point, monitoring YOU. Why does your cat stare at you when IT wants to. Why does it insist on bathroom privacy? Why does it leap onto your lap when IT wants to, not when YOU want it to, like a dog would? Why does cat food taste worse than dog food?

You don't have to be a genius to add two and two. In this case, the answer is two cats plus two cats usually equals four aliens. The cat's purr, which comes from nobody knows where, is merely the machinery being reconfigured every so often. I will be in trouble for writing this, but that's nothing new. My lead foil cap is on, my thoughts are my own.

[link to paranoiafiles.com]
Anonymous Coward
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05/23/2010 10:02 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
Everyone knows that while dogs have masters, Cats have staff.

If you are fortunate enough to be the love object of a cat person, you need to love, cherish and care for them all the days of their lives. The best foods, the best vets, clean dishes for every meal, and whatever else he or she desires. Neutering is best done when your cat person is very young, so they do not remember the trauma and blame you for it. Making sure they have a cat or other animal companion if you're not home most of the time, is also vital.

Grooming, playing, toys, walks, time outside if it can be allowed safely... theses are all part and parcel of the relationship you have with your cat (or should have with le Cat.)

Remember you've been honored that the Cat has chosen you. Someday you will be rewarded for your care and devotion. Maybe karmically and maybe just by not being scratched or bitten if the Cat person is in a foul temper. But you will eventually be rewarded.

Do not forget a few moments of worship and adoration each day is REQUIRED for the Cats mental health. They all seem to remember having been considered GODS when they lived in Egypt. And without the Worship and Adoration, they feel neglected and may scratch furniture or piss outside of the cat box.
Anonymous Coward
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05/23/2010 10:02 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
[link to uproar.fortunecity.com]
Anonymous Coward
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Indonesia
05/23/2010 10:08 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
They will rule the earth again!, and pryamids will be their homes.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 966362

fool u will have morons killing cats for the sake of it.
understand cats are one of the first creatures to detect the paranormal/weird-shit

they are our friends they protect us from and warn us of this phenomenon
Anonymous Coward
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United States
05/23/2010 10:08 AM
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just thought of something. in the movie district 9, the aliens freakin love cat food, its like crack to them.
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
05/23/2010 10:09 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
They will rule the earth again!, and pryamids will be their homes.

fool u will have morons killing cats for the sake of it.
understand cats are one of the first creatures to detect the paranormal/weird-shit

they are our friends they protect us from and warn us of this phenomenon
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 978680

U must be a fool, to think a crazy thread will make people kill cats, but I guess you probably eat them already anyway
Anonymous Coward
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Spain
05/23/2010 10:12 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
They will rule the earth again!, and pryamids will be their homes.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 966362


Many races put something of their planets in this test. Some put a plant, some other an animal.
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
05/23/2010 10:23 AM
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just thought of something. in the movie district 9, the aliens freakin love cat food, its like crack to them.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 903069

maybe a clue
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
05/23/2010 10:24 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
They are on every corner of the globe - they have beaten the US at infiltration
orby

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05/23/2010 10:24 AM
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Re: Cats are really aliens sent to spy on us - its true look into their eyes.
Hathors and others indeed.

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