Does Johnny Depp post here....?

what if I do?

oh man, oh man, oh man......well....I love you.....

Johnny isn't smart enough to operate a coumputer.

Ask any Director that had the misfortune of having to deal with him.

Ribbit

I resent that.

who cares

Resentment is overrated!

Ribbit

actors, they are all smug a-holes... why not give up that "rich" life and help people, not donate only what your tax accountant says that you can deduct but really give up that money.

He begins filming the next Pirates of the Carribean movie here next month

a friend is one of the pirates, so we'll have to find out

if he doesn't, maybe we can get him to

If he did, who would you suspect of being him?

yeah he does, what's it to you?

Better than Johnny Galecki.

How much ave you given? Cause you sound like a cheap MOTHER FUCKER?

I love the ones that have to do with me! Not that i have some massive ego or any such nonsense -- I keep it in check for my sake and to not bore you with it --
but i digress!

It was recently noted that i am a part of this Illuminati you harpies all seem to fear -- nothing could be further from the truth -- I have entertained their invite but I will only do so if I am promised an island nation to oversee. My design for living calls for a humble existence - a small country would suit me fine.

i do not have a room devoted to vampires in my home -- it's more of a tribute to my favorite movie monsters and i have a lot of favorites!

I will not be receiving 95 million for this next Pirates movie --- it will be a comfortable amount but i do not wish to go over the details, they would only depress the less interesting.

I am not a Reptilian (as it is I will not handle reptiles on screen unless I am paid handsomely, funnily enough-- I am)

I did not 'flee' France (their taxation was a non issue - more to do with my ever growing boredom with the regional wines, as they no longer soothed my palate)

hope i have cleared the air some. anyhow, carry on if you will!

I do enjoy a good nip of the ol' Jameson Irish before a scene!
Otherwise, i am not of the school that recommends imbibing spirits on the job to muddle through.

I am Aristide Torchia, Johnny tried once tried to get my illustrious book...

Fuck off, liar.

One of the famed Barrymores took the time to enlighten me about the Kaballah -- while i found it a bit push-posh at first - Drew assured me that it would change my life. I gave her my word i would study it and true enough,
a changed man i was.

A Grand-Something-Or-Other of Aldous Huxley followed me around for a good year --- at first i was a bit...frightened if you will..... but he too assured me that the teachings of his associates would serve me well in this lifetime.

In some circles, some would say i was as a practitioner of neoshamanism and shamanistic philosophies but in others i would be considered a prat.

aha! Aristide - we meet once more. your book would be a most welcome addition.....

He said that celebrity worshipping is a mental disease.

OF ALL THE LEVELS OF CONNECTION, the most consistent was humor. Humor, often meaning practical jokes. There was no one more gifted in this arena or as skilled a craftsman as Marlon.

He possessed the sense of humor (which we both shared) of a child. I once asked him why it was that flatulence was always funny.
He replied, “Because it is blatantly anti-social.”

I did indeed say that! Celebrity worship syndrome is an obsessive-addictive disorder in which a person becomes overly involved with the details of a celebrity's personal life. With that said, I trust you would all understand if i quietly slipped back into the night and continued with my spelunking through the current GLP headlines....

Indubitably!

Is that you scissorhands?

Who?

We are Johnny Depp, also.

Who is "Johnny Depp"?

He wanted "What The He*l Was THAT All About" inscribed on his tombstone.

Tell us though about yourself Johnny..why if you admire Brando's easy humor and naturalness you choose such an awkward and pretentious style of speaking. Perplexing.
Plus how long does it take to put on all your jewelry and self-consciously shabby look before going down to buy a loaf of bread. After all, you'll be 50 years old in a few months.

By the way. Dead Man (Wm Blake) was your best in my opinion.