Remember all the "classified" parts? Lets start trying to fill them in shall we...
"Congress shall now vote for approval of HR 8791, The Homeland Terrorism Preparedness Bill as said bill requests Emergency Response Funding up to and including I'm sorry this section is classified dollars to prepare for a national level terrorist attack and or an attack from CLASSIFIED BP. Funding for first responder personnel and vehicles would be doubled if said attack leads to 80% of national population, being affected by CLASSIFIED OIL SPILL. This funding shall commence with the first attack on CLASSIFIED THE GULF REGION or the first large-scale outbreak of CLASSIFIED DEATH BY COREXIT, dependent upon which comes first. Civilian and military units shall be trained in containment and combat of CLASSIFIED MARTIAL LAW including irradiated CLASSIFIED with the possibility of CLASSIFIED airborne CLASSIFIED flesh-eating CLASSIFIED, and or all of the above in such event as CLASSIFIED spewing CLASSIFIED or released or otherwise becomes uncontrollable.
Air Force units may also be directed to combat said CLASSIFIED due to their enormous size and other-worldly strengths. Should event occur in urban areas. . . Jesus . . .that's, that's CLASSIFIED far surpassing our darkest nightmares. Should casualties exceed CLASSIFIED body disposal actions shall be halted and associated resources shall be reallocated to CLASSIFIED underground CLASSIFIED protected birthing centers. A new Bill of Rights shall be drafted and approved by CLASSIFIED.
Having now reviewed the Bill I ask you to please cast your vote." Broadcast on CSPAN. (1)