If you know of Child Abuse and/or Violence against Children, call the Police, this is why...

Nah. One persons opinion of what is abuse does not mean it is abuse. The police do more harm. They will come take the children in any police state.

I am so sorry OP. You were an innocent child who deserved to be loved. As an aduld you deserve love.

Booze destroys alot of people and lives. You are free of him now.

1. God put you on this earth to have joy
2. You have purpose
3. You are loved.
4. In no way was this your fault ( I hope you know that already)
5. Your life has meaning and worth.
6. I know this is hard but you have to let go and let God handle the situation.

It sounds like you suffer from PTSD. Have you seen a therapist for this problem? You can HEAL from Post Traumatic Stress Dissorder. It takes time and a good therapist. Find one with specialized training in PTSD.

Love to you OP.

I know it´s dangerous in the US, because of Foster Child Care.

When i hear something in the news that a 7 year old starved to Death by his Parents or beaten Black and Blue and no one fucking saw anything, i just want to freak out!

I'm sorry. Sending you a hug.

My father was a monster.
My mom did the emotional abuse.

Concentrate on you. Your future is full if wonderful possibilities. Find and follow yr passion. Help others. Move forward in a positive way.

It is dangerous in Foster Care.

It is also up to those being abused to leave the situation.

This is not always an easy thing to do for those that are being abused. There are many mind games that the abuser uses against their victims to keep them under their control.

I wish I knew the perfect answer to stopping child abuse, it literally breaks my heart and angers me to where I shake and cry with rage at the abuser.



Please, if you can, seek some sort of professional counseling and find natural ways to improve your beaten self esteem.

HELP WITH POSTTRAUMATIC STRESS (PTSD)

[link to www.youtube.com]

Consider this..

If you keep drugging yourself and reliving it in yr head - and making yourself suffer -- then the monster WINS.

Get help. Find a counselor. Seriously.
Get even by treating your body and mind with respect. Get even by cutting him out of your life - he doesn't exist - anymore. (not simple. Can be done.)

quit giving your power away to the monster
get help
please

^^this

you ARE loved OP

my parents were similar Enaid

OP it IS possible to move past the pain your parents have caused you...

Enaid's advice is sound

Yeah, this really can destroy a Soul, i was so close to suicide but decided no to do him a favour.

I sometimes thought he´s got Enjoyment by treating us as bad as possible.

A Therapist, I visited one, weeks ago, he was like "We´re living in a performance society", after 5 Minutes, that delivered me a deep punch to the stomach, because I was there to get help not to got told what i already know, i want to work and earn duly money, but first i need peace.

Looking for an other one right now, but the Waiting List to get a good Therapist is from 4 to 6 Months.

Thank you for your lovely words

That's so sad, OP. Children are the innocents and it is despicable for a parent or anyone to treat one that way. You, nor any child, deserves that.

Once my husband and two children went to L.A., Calif. to visit his nephew who was a policeman. He had just married a woman with a 4 you son. The three children were being noisy but normal kids and the nephew grabbed his stepson and just started wailing on him. The biological mother just watched. My husband had to physical stop him as I got my two out of the house.

I did call the police but learned later they did nothing since he was a cop. My phone call made a rift in the family but I don't care and neither did my husband. My husband was a policeman also but a good, honorable man and what his nephew did made him sick.

Even though my call wasn't successful I do agree with you 100%.

I hope you will be able to eventually put this behind you. Your father was a sick man. Are there groups you could join of people with similar experiences? Sometimes groups like that help to know that others went through same thing and would give you an outlet. Maybe by talking of the details it will help to heal you.

Your greatest "revenge" is to get past the abuse and do well in life.

It can be done.

As bad as things were for you, there are those who endured worse and lived to tell about it and help others and become well adjusted, happy adults.

Helping others helps you heal and makes you feel you have a purpose.


God Bless!

Enaid's post reminds me of an old Spanish proverb:

"Living well is the best revenge" meaning that when our enemies see us happy and well that it destroys them.

Strive for that, OP, and your father will be defeated.

AAWwww Thanks Tessa.
I'm sorry you had it bad too.

Sending hugs to everyone.

OP - it won't be easy. Realize- this is yr life. You need to take charge. Or else on day 20 yrs from now, you will wake up with another hangover needing to score more dope.

Dream of a future that you want. Make a game plan. You CAN overcome things and do wonderful things. Seriously. One step at a time.

When children are abused the brain makes a "file"/forms connections. When something triggers that file or memory, such as a smell a sound anything. The old file in the brain replays the "memory" and the body has a stress reaction to that stimuli.

Things like a lound sound, you react with a start.
Vivid nightmares, wakeing up in a panic and or in a sweat.
Panic attacks for no reason.

OP it is so important that you see a good therapist and free yourself of these negative memories/ intrusive memories.

It is a long and tough process but you can and WILL heal.
What needs to happen is the brain needs to form new and healthy responses to stimuli. Like putting the old files into new boxes, one that has been cleaned out shall I say.

You will feel so much better to know it was not your fault and there was nothing you could do to stop it. You had to survive. Fight or flight response. Now it is time for you to heal. Your first step was to share this with us here on GLP. Your getting some of this out is a sign that you are ready to face this and heal.

Love yourself.
YOU are lovable and worthy of love.

Tell yourself this. Breathe deep.

You are loved.
You are a valuable human.
You are a good and decent person.

Find someplace to help others. It will make you feel good. It will make others feel good. You will make friends. A soup kitchen. A homeless shelter. An abused womens' shelter. Etc

Thanks, even a virtual hug gives me the shivers

Really hard, i know i have to concentrate as you say, but it overcomes very quickly.

I don´t have problems with THC but with all that Pharma Industrial Shit, but yep, the Monster wins if I do it.

At least they are one of the more weaker pills that don´t get you addicted even if you stop taking them, there should be no problems to discontinue with them, my Doctor said (My Doc since i was born,I trust him because he always only did necessary things and not always prescribed a Medicine and knows about my whole history with that stress.

I´ll try to keep my Power for the Woman that´ll come i will love and marry.

Thank you Enaid, for comforting me some Courage.

I'm so sorry to hear this OP,

my wounds were never physical, but emotional and verbal from my father as well. (My mom completely ignored me)

That motherfucker was the biggest bully I've ever seen. He still is ... well ... tries to be. He still hurts my mother because that's the only person he's got to pick on. He has ran out of "friends" and "associates." I try to defend her, but she's too stupid to understand she's being hurt.

She's also too weak (and old) to start an independent life so she puts up with it.

This will be like a scar (emotional or in your case physical also) ... you'll always know it's there; you'll always see it in the mirror .. but it'll be okay, because you'll be able to move on.

Yes!

I totally second this! Copy and paste this message OP.

:-)

for you OP(while i look for a better one ^_^)

Recovery from Childhood Abuse
Many adults face the difficult task of healing from physical, emotional, spiritual, or sexual abuse suffered in childhood. This is often made more difficult by isolation and feelings of shame and self-blame. Survivors may feel they must protect or shield those who abused, particularly if the perpetrators were family members.

A cultural conspiracy of silence has cloaked the open discussion of these abuses; thankfully, that seems to be lessening. Many support groups and recovery groups now exist. They help to reduce the abuse survivor’s sense of isolation and provide safe places where traumatic childhood events can be talked about and worked through. Healing from childhood abuse is a complex task, and the resources listed below can help.

See also: Abusive Relationships; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder; Men’s Sexual Health; Women’s Sexual Health; Resilience; Spirituality


[link to www.books4selfhelp.com]

In the mean time OP try one of these books. They will explain your anxiety, depression feelings of rage and isolation. NEVER EVER consider ending your life. YOU ARE A SURVIVOR. YOU ARE STRONG. YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE LOVED BY GOD.

Thank you all for your support, i feel better now, more encouraged and with a little bit wet eyes (happy tears, because i thought this Tread would submerge in the depths of many unnoticed threads.

I start this Sunday, with the Words:

"It´ll be a beautyful day, today, Sun or Rain, doesn´t matter.

Thank you all again

OP Im sorry to hear that you have been treated so badly by your father and that it is still affecting your life today.

The best thing is to

1. be free of them in your life.

2. as hard as it may be, accept that you were treated badly and do try and move on. This is easier if you make a complete break from your family, so either move to a different town/city and don't leave any forwarding addresses.

3. I know very well that you don't want anyone else in your life, because everyone comes with complications and basically because of the treatment you received as a child, you are reluctant to get close to anyone.

For the time being, keep it that way, baby steps to recovery, eventually you will find someone special, but you have to be open for it and perhaps now is not the time just yet.

My mother is a psycopath and my father was in total denial as to what she was doing, in denial right up until she stood over him, watched him die and then call the ambulance.

The physical, emotional and psychological torment that she put us through was something only a demented, tortured soul could do. She is a bullying aggressive sadist, who definitely got a kick out of maiming small kids. She sent my older sister off to school, aged 10 with an iron scauld on her thigh - it was bright red, complete with steam vents and the teachers at school were horrified (but sadly did nothing except tend our wounds.)

She squeezed the life out of me with a teatowel, and for a week made me eat bowls of neat sugar for breakfast. (She will tell you today, that she was just trying to cure me of my sweet tooth). Then when that didn't work, made me eat my morning cereal with tablespoons of salt, then looked triumphant when I vomited everywhere.

The problem with my mother was that she wasn't drunk when she did any of these things - she was stone cold sober, but seething with a malevolence, of whose origin know one knows.

She was born highly priviledged, had every single material wish granted, lived an extreamly pampered and sheltered existance all her life, so where did this malevolence come from?

The one thing that I know absolutely is that she has always been completely miserable. Money didn't bring her happiness, she hated her mother, her husband and her children. Blamed everyone for her misery.

The funny thing is that she is on various web sites and she fights with everyone on them, insulting them, only jumps in on threads in order to attack people (doesn't contribute anything meaningful to the discussion per se).

So she has nobody to blame now, but is still the most miserable person I know.

Spiritually speaking has been trapped in the onespace all her life. No movement forward, no evolution possible, just thrashing around in a morass of misery, hoping that some of the shit and venom she flings hits someone.

So, sorry I rambled off on a tangent. But keep your spirits up, concentrate on all the good things in nature, marvel at the beauty out there and do something your tormentor was not able to do. MOVE

Wrong Kemosabe.... !!! We all should protect the children..they are not property of the parents... and as one who has known abuse personally..I know how it affects you...

OP, Enaid is correct.. get help..one thing that helped me was EMDR..eye movement desensitizing and reprocessing..Flashbacks would literally explode inside me, leaving me in pieces..EMDR is a slow release, and it takes a while but for me it works... also try group support, so you know that you are not alone..
I am so sorry you had to go through this, there is 'better' out there...Will I ever feel 'whole', probably not, but now I am aware of why I feel like I do some times, and what to do to help myself...
It can be done, and I have intervened with people who are 'disciplining' their children in public......with stressing to never, ever, hurt a child...period...no qualifications...
Sometimes in being an advocate for those abused, will help in your recovery..
also, medication can help, but beware, because some 'docs' love to over medicate.

Also, come back here when you need support, we may not be able to physically give you a hug, or pat you on the back, but we can send love, and 'listen' if you need to 'talk'...
This can be one of the best threads on GLP!...virtual support group...
..Thanks for you courage to post, Trickster..That took a lot of 'balls'... so keep us posted on how you are doing...okay?

much love, good thoughts, and prayers going your way

Your mother should be locked up in a place she can never hurt anyone. I have seen this happen to children, from their mother, but the mother was taken away, to the funny farm.

OP, I know you will make it. You sound strong - a survivor and a fighter. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and will feel happy that you are having a beautiful day.

My heart goes out to you OP, Many have advised therapy of some sort, it really is the thing to do. Having grown up in an abusive household, I didn't trust anyone enough to risk therapy. That was my mistake. When I finally started therapy in my late thirties, I kicked myself for not going sooner. It has made such a difference, I've still a way to go, but jeez I don't relive those horrors every day the way I used to. So often it's those that need it most that find it hardest to trust enough to go for it.

I've also had life long spleeping problems, with a combination of hypnotherapy and using 1mg of melatonin every night, I can now get a decent nights sleep. I hope you are able to find a good therapist sooner rather than later as I should have done.

[[[[Hug]]]]

Hey OP

just checking in with ya, seeing how you are today :)