what to do when your wife or girlfriend really pisses you off? anger management

she knows how to push your buttons.
maybe she even secretly likes to do so.
what can you do when you feel the need to throw the dinner plate against the wall? or, slam a door so hard it might fall off its hinges?

had one of those fights again, and i slammed the door. i used to throw things, but this doesn't solve anything, any usually only leads to a broken mess in need of cleaning up.

any ideas? how do you cope? thanks.
peace.