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Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?

 
Didn't know
User ID: 1070214
United States
08/18/2010 10:51 PM
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Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
I was dating a man for a few years until he told me he was married.
I was in love with him and I thought he loved me.
I moved away but it's really difficult getting over him.
It's also difficult for me to trust men. I've been on a few dates but I am afraid to get close.
I haven't been with anyone sexually since the married man no one turns me on the way he did.
I just don't understand how someone can do this to me and his wife. How can someone live a double life?
I feel like a fool.
I know I could never trust him if he left his wife.
This did damage to me.
I would never let his wife know but I fear if she found out she might try to hurt me.
i am looking for suggestion to heal my heart.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 966567
United States
08/18/2010 10:53 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Uhhh, because if he told you he was married, he wouldnt be gettin a little sum' sum' on the side.

And how did you not know ?
Rex Khristos

User ID: 908143
United States
08/18/2010 10:54 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
I was dating a man for a few years until he told me he was married.
I was in love with him and I thought he loved me.
I moved away but it's really difficult getting over him.
It's also difficult for me to trust men. I've been on a few dates but I am afraid to get close.
I haven't been with anyone sexually since the married man no one turns me on the way he did.
I just don't understand how someone can do this to me and his wife. How can someone live a double life?
I feel like a fool.
I know I could never trust him if he left his wife.
This did damage to me.
I would never let his wife know but I fear if she found out she might try to hurt me.
i am looking for suggestion to heal my heart.
 Quoting: Didn't know 1070214

Catch and release my dear...don't get yourself hooked...

...easier said than done.
"And though I believe in the ineffable glory of God, and though I might have experienced the undeniable reality of the Deity, and though I may know the secrets of the ages, these do not fulfill the Love in my heart. But to Change and Be and Do and dissolve both the subject of my person and the object of my God into the fluency of Empirical Providence. The Way, the Truth, and the Life."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 966567
United States
08/18/2010 10:54 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Oh, and not all married men lie about being married, just a handfull. Most just happen to find a woman who doesnt mind being the "other woman".
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1070214
United States
08/18/2010 10:56 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Uhhh, because if he told you he was married, he wouldnt be gettin a little sum' sum' on the side.

And how did you not know ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 966567



I keep asking myself that. Looking back I can now see the signs. Like I said I was a fool.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1070214
United States
08/18/2010 10:57 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Catch and release my dear...don't get yourself hooked...

...easier said than done.
 Quoting: Rex Khristos



A lot easier.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1072620
United States
08/18/2010 11:05 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
I haven't been with anyone sexually since the married man no one turns me on the way he did.
 Quoting: Didn't know 1070214



Many women don't like sex that much but they've been conditioned by society to believe that they do. It's often a shock for a woman to discover that she doesn't actually like having sex and it's a disadvantage in competing with other women for desirable men.

Most women don't discover the truth about their sex drive until after they've had children, often not until they reach their forties.

You just found out a little earlier than normal, I think.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1070214
United States
08/18/2010 11:10 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
I haven't been with anyone sexually since the married man no one turns me on the way he did.



Many women don't like sex that much but they've been conditioned by society to believe that they do. It's often a shock for a woman to discover that she doesn't actually like having sex and it's a disadvantage in competing with other women for desirable men.

Most women don't discover the truth about their sex drive until after they've had children, often not until they reach their forties.

You just found out a little earlier than normal, I think.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1072620



Actually I love sex. I've never had a problem until this.
Another thing we had the best sex ever. I miss the sex but I guess that's all we had ... sex
Sean
User ID: 907734
United States
08/18/2010 11:16 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Being the man in that situation, maybe I can shed some light on it for you. I am 49 and have been married 25 years to the same woman. She has sexual issues and we have not slept together for 13 years. I was contacted by an old flame (the girl I thought was my soul mate) from twenty years ago. We caught up via internet because I live on the East Coast and she's in AZ. We had a torrid romance on line, but when it came to leaving my wife and heading off into unknown territory, I got cold feet. Many men will put up with an intolerable situation for many reasons: financial, familiar surroundings, comfort. The question is, does he still lve you and do you still love him? Are you in touch? Internet and facebook are amazing. I know if she had said, "Convention be damned" and showed up on my doorstep, I would have left in a moment. But my mind beat out my heart and I stayed in my comfort zone.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1070663
United States
08/18/2010 11:17 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
It will take time, but keep moving forward. And know that its ok to love more then one person. You love him and most likely always will have love for him, just know you two are on different paths and he's a liar. You deserve better and WILL find better. :)

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 961432
United States
08/18/2010 11:19 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Because women are subconsciously attracted to lying married men.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 861225
United States
08/18/2010 11:20 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Just keep banging each other and have a good time. You will die either way in the end, so have some fun.
Sean
User ID: 907734
United States
08/18/2010 11:21 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Come on folks. You don't know what kind of home life this guy had. Maybe he was in a horrible situation with his wife. All guys aren't just out to get a piece of tail.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1048750
United States
08/18/2010 11:22 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Some men do, not all.

Depends on a man's state of consciousness. If it is low, he lies, if he is of a higher spiritual nature, he is an honest person in all his dealings...
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1070214
United States
08/18/2010 11:25 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Being the man in that situation, maybe I can shed some light on it for you. I am 49 and have been married 25 years to the same woman. She has sexual issues and we have not slept together for 13 years. I was contacted by an old flame (the girl I thought was my soul mate) from twenty years ago. We caught up via internet because I live on the East Coast and she's in AZ. We had a torrid romance on line, but when it came to leaving my wife and heading off into unknown territory, I got cold feet. Many men will put up with an intolerable situation for many reasons: financial, familiar surroundings, comfort. The question is, does he still lve you and do you still love him? Are you in touch? Internet and facebook are amazing. I know if she had said, "Convention be damned" and showed up on my doorstep, I would have left in a moment. But my mind beat out my heart and I stayed in my comfort zone.
 Quoting: Sean 907734



Funny he's in the East and I moved to AZ.
We met online when I was going through divorce.
He is wealthy and I think he's still with his wife because of financial reasons and his kids. To be honest I never asked him the details.
I left my wealthy ex husband basically with what would fit in my car. Money never meant that much to me.
I loved the married man because of our amazing chemistry not his money. I never asked him for anything except time.
Thanks for your reply.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1072620
United States
08/18/2010 11:25 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Actually I love sex. I've never had a problem until this.
Another thing we had the best sex ever. I miss the sex but I guess that's all we had ... sex
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1070214



Sigh.

it's always like this.

Tiger Woods likes playing golf.

Liam Neeson likes acting.

If you liked sex, you would be DOING IT.

Hello???

If you LIKED IT, you would be DOING IT.


You'll figure it out eventually.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1070214
United States
08/18/2010 11:26 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
It will take time, but keep moving forward. And know that its ok to love more then one person. You love him and most likely always will have love for him, just know you two are on different paths and he's a liar. You deserve better and WILL find better. :)

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1070663




Thank You.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1072620
United States
08/18/2010 11:26 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Because women are subconsciously attracted to lying married men.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 961432



Women lie to themselves.

As we can see in this thread.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 1070214
United States
08/18/2010 11:27 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Just keep banging each other and have a good time. You will die either way in the end, so have some fun.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 861225



I can't do that. I will find a single man to bang
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 742489
United States
08/18/2010 11:29 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
I was dating a man for a few years until he told me he was married.
I was in love with him and I thought he loved me.
I moved away but it's really difficult getting over him.
It's also difficult for me to trust men. I've been on a few dates but I am afraid to get close.
I haven't been with anyone sexually since the married man no one turns me on the way he did.
I just don't understand how someone can do this to me and his wife. How can someone live a double life?
I feel like a fool.
I know I could never trust him if he left his wife.
This did damage to me.
I would never let his wife know but I fear if she found out she might try to hurt me.
i am looking for suggestion to heal my heart.
 Quoting: Didn't know 1070214



If you had better judgement, and discernment, you would have figured out he was married.

I am married, and would NEVER lie about it.

Even if a gorgeous woman told me she'd give me the "blow job of my life" if I'm single, I'd say, " if I WERE single, I'd take you up on it, but I'm married, and will not break my vows".

OVERCOME temptation !!
Sean
User ID: 907734
United States
08/18/2010 11:31 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
That's all she ever asked of me was my time and my presence and it was the one thing I couldn't give her. If she were here right now, I'd give her anything she wanted. It got to the point where I was so screwed up, I didn't know if I was coming or going. I wanted her more than life itself and I had this commitment and my marriage vows that I could not break, no matter how bad the marriage. I was even willing to drive to AZ to see her, but she said as long as I was with my wife, she didn't want me. I was given the choice to have her or my marriage. As I said, I didn't leave my comfort zone. Find a way. Contact him discreetly. Let him know how you feel. I guarantee he has as many if not more regrets than you do. He may just need to know you are there for him.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 699917
United States
08/18/2010 11:41 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
That's all she ever asked of me was my time and my presence and it was the one thing I couldn't give her. If she were here right now, I'd give her anything she wanted. It got to the point where I was so screwed up, I didn't know if I was coming or going. I wanted her more than life itself and I had this commitment and my marriage vows that I could not break, no matter how bad the marriage. I was even willing to drive to AZ to see her, but she said as long as I was with my wife, she didn't want me. I was given the choice to have her or my marriage. As I said, I didn't leave my comfort zone. Find a way. Contact him discreetly. Let him know how you feel. I guarantee he has as many if not more regrets than you do. He may just need to know you are there for him.
 Quoting: Sean 907734


Why are you encouraging someone to destroy a marriage?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 699917
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08/18/2010 11:42 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
For that matter, why are you encouraging this woman who is already devastated for having been lied to, to pursue a lying sack of shit?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 961432
United States
08/18/2010 11:43 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Because women are subconsciously attracted to lying married men.

Women lie to themselves.

As we can see in this thread.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1072620


Oh, sorry I didn't read the actual thread I was just stating a fact, as I think so are you.
Sean
User ID: 907734
United States
08/18/2010 11:46 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
You don't know the situation and you dont know what they meant to each other. Should she go through a life of regrets? A life of what ifs and maybes? Better to bring it to an end if that's where it's bound. Leaving it undone is the worst thing.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1072816
United States
08/18/2010 11:48 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Uhhh, because if he told you he was married, he wouldnt be gettin a little sum' sum' on the side.

And how did you not know ?



I keep asking myself that. Looking back I can now see the signs. Like I said I was a fool.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1070214


Agreed.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 699917
United States
08/18/2010 11:50 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
You don't know the situation and you dont know what they meant to each other. Should she go through a life of regrets? A life of what ifs and maybes? Better to bring it to an end if that's where it's bound. Leaving it undone is the worst thing.
 Quoting: Sean 907734


You regret that your trick walked away. You're projecting.
Sean
User ID: 907734
United States
08/18/2010 11:50 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Uhhh, because if he told you he was married, he wouldnt be gettin a little sum' sum' on the side.

And how did you not know ?



I keep asking myself that. Looking back I can now see the signs. Like I said I was a fool.


Agreed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1072816


Not all men in that situation are lying bastards. Some are trapped by their sense of duty versus love.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 699917
United States
08/18/2010 11:52 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
You don't know the situation and you dont know what they meant to each other. Should she go through a life of regrets? A life of what ifs and maybes? Better to bring it to an end if that's where it's bound. Leaving it undone is the worst thing.
 Quoting: Sean 907734



Did you miss this part?

I know I could never trust him if he left his wife.
Sean
User ID: 907734
United States
08/18/2010 11:52 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
You don't know the situation and you dont know what they meant to each other. Should she go through a life of regrets? A life of what ifs and maybes? Better to bring it to an end if that's where it's bound. Leaving it undone is the worst thing.


You regret that your trick walked away. You're projecting.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 699917


I regret that I didn't leave and go to the best woman I ever knew in my life. I regret that I let my mind override my heart. I regret that I'm not spending the rest of my life with the woman I really love. If that's projecting, then yes I am.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 699917
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08/18/2010 11:53 PM
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Re: Why Do Married Men Lie About Being Married?
Not all men in that situation are lying bastards. Some are trapped by their sense of duty versus love.
 Quoting: Sean 907734


Actually, sleeping with someone and not telling that person you are married, makes you a lying bastard - regardless of your reasons for doing so.

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